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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Freaking Out!!

13 replies

Weezie85 · 27/03/2012 12:12

Hello,
Ok so I don't know why but at 32 weeks I am not freaking out. I am trying to find anyone with a good story about Darlington Memorial?
I am hating the idea that I only have an hour after birth before being kicked out of the birthing room and being shifted to the maternity ward. If its late at night then other half can't come with me. I know tons of people must go through the same but the idea of being alone with the baby on a ward filled with other women is just completely freaking me out. I know other half won't be with me all the time, but the first night.
Please someone reassure me, it feels wrong to phone the midwife about this one as it isn't really a health issue, but I am actually having sleepless nights worrying about this...........and breath.

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Aworryingtrend · 27/03/2012 12:27

Oh my god I'm in Darlington too?! What a coincidence. I'm only 10 weeks so haven't looked round delivery suite yet. That does sound awful about being on your own just an hour after giving birth, how did you find out that was the case? I would mention it to midwife at one of your routine appointments in a 'by the way...' sort of way, and see what she says?

Do you know people who have given birth at other hospitals and what their policy is? I'm the first of my friends to have a baby so I'm not clued up in that department.

Nice to 'meet' someone else from round here, sometimes I feel like the only Northener on here! Though I'm sure thats not the case.

Original poster

Weezie85 · 27/03/2012 12:38

I heard someone say it at a class and it totally freaked me out. I am doing the tour soon but wanted to find out if this is actually the case. I mean it just seems so fast and I hate the idea of the first night being spent all alone in a ward. Eeeeek.
I might be lucky and have it during the day, but I just keep thinking that will not happen.
At Bishop you stay in the same room, its Midwife Led though, but I come under consultant led so have to go to Memorial.

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FoofFighter · 27/03/2012 13:00

At the two hospitals I gave birth in this was also the case although it was a while ago now. I gave birth at 7.30pm and 9.20pm and with both after i'd been patched up etc and back on ward for my tea and toast we had about half an hour together.

Have to say I think it's pfair enough if it's a ward rather than your own rooms it's not fair on other mums trying to rest if there are others there although at the time I know I was all you can't go!

Difficult one really.

Aworryingtrend · 27/03/2012 13:12

If you've only overheard it by someone else, who might have heard it from someone else...etc, I would definitely mention it to your midwife at your next appointment, especially if you are so worried you are losing sleep over it.

Original poster

Weezie85 · 27/03/2012 14:01

FoofFighter was it ok being on the ward alone at night? I just keep getting freaked out by the idea of having this baby all alone with me.
I know it is for the other mothers benefit that I am not sat there chattering away, I understand that. I just have this fear of being all alone with baby. It keeps scaring the poop out of me. I would prefer to just to be allowed to go home.
I only know of two other people who have had babies recently and one was down in Bristol, the other up in Scotland. Both got a few hours in the delivery room then got to go home. But from what I have heard at Darlington, you get this one hour, then they want to keep you for 6 hours afterwards on the ward.

OP posts:

Lovetats · 27/03/2012 14:04

It sounds fairly normal to me.

Don't worry - you'll be so busy falling in love with your little podling that you'll take everything in your stride.

Good luck!

iloveholidays · 27/03/2012 14:13

This was exactly the same at my hospital. DD1 was born at 8:51pm and I was round at the ward by midnight-ish and DP was told to go home. DD2 was C Section so was round in the delivery ward a little longer. She was born at 2:22a m and was round in post-natal by 6am-ish and DP was told to go home. He was allowed in the ward from 8am until 9pm.

I think it would probably depend how busy they are on the labour ward as to when you'd get round to post-natal and if its all gone smoothly. I know people who have gone round to post-natal pretty quickly if its been busy and also, on the flip side have been left in labour ward for hours if its quiet. It will probably also depend on the midwife.

However.... I was absolutely fine for both round on post-natal. For me, the adrenalin and feeling I had after both my births was so intense that nothing else mattered. I just sat there smiling at my babies. Also, I am one of those people who doesn't really enjoy being on my own much but to put it bluntly you are not feeling how you would on a normal day - if that makes sense? I felt more sorry for my DP than I did for me.

I would also say try not to let it worry you - try to enjoy the experience!!

Original poster

Weezie85 · 27/03/2012 14:17

Thanks girls. It's not that I don't imagine I will have time alone with new baby, just the first night. Ahh.
I guess like you are saying it seems to be a normal thing for hospitals to do.
Will still talk to midwife at my next appointment. If lots of other mothers can do it then I am sure I will survive for a night.
I also think the fact that I have never(touchwood) been in hospital before this makes me more scared as well.

OP posts:

GinPalace · 27/03/2012 14:23

I was in that situ on first night with ds and it was OK. I was very tired so other than ds needing me I slept OK. But the midwives were totally on hand which was great as I found I had lots of questions as things went along I hadn't even thought of and I needed a lot of help getting ds latched on and feeding. So being on the ward was good on balance, though sometimes noisier than I might have preferred. hth. :)

Good luck - you'll be fine.

Do speak to your midwife though - worries are just as valid talking point as physical things and she will porb be able to give you a good breakdown of what to expect etc.

GinPalace · 27/03/2012 14:23

porb - probably!

Lovetats · 27/03/2012 14:24

I strongly dislike hospitals but honestly, it'll be fine.

With my last one, I had the little telly on, my bubba beside me and slept ok. You will be knackered :)

But make sure that you get some pain relief if you need any - I had achey joints beforehand and was too shy to ring the buzzer to ask the nurse for some tablets.

PleaseChooseAnotherNN · 27/03/2012 16:39

I was sent off to the ward with both DC, I never thought to question it as it was just what was done. Having had both babies at 10/11pm I was shattered and just slept. DP was allowed back at 8am the next day.

I am sure you will be fine but have a chat to your midwife about how you are feeling.

Chunkychicken · 27/03/2012 16:58

My DD was born at 00.42 and I was given plenty of time in the delivery suite to get showered, eat tea & toast & so on, after everything medical was done, before being transferred to the ward at about 04.30. DH brought baby round whilst I was pushed & then he left. I sat there for the next 3 hours starring at her, thinking 'OMG this is my baby'. I couldn't sleep & then realised they were beginning ward rounds & doing breakfast. I was only on the ward until about 6-7pm, so in hospital less than 24hrs. I think DH got back between 9 & 10am & stayed the rest of the day until we were discharged.

TBH I think you'll freak out at some point anyway, whether its over the birth itself or something that occurs after.

You may be on the ward during the day if baby is born in the morning, & your DP can prob be there all day with you. They like to see baby feed a couple of times before discharging you both, especially if you're bf, so its a fairly standard time to stay in. I would mention it to your MW so she can reassure you, but you might find you enjoy the calm & solitude bonding with your new baby on your own. :)

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