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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How to prepare No 1 for the arrival of No 2

21 replies

AnnaK · 03/02/2006 13:12

I have a lovely but very clingy ds who will be just over 2 when the next one arrives. Any advice on how to help prepare him for the upheaval ahead? Any books that are age appropriate? I would like to breast feed. He will still go to nursery 3 days a week and I will do my utmost to get to the usual activities we do during the week.
Help please...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hotmama · 03/02/2006 13:21

My dd is nearly 16 months and dd2 is currently overdue by 5 days!

My dd goes to nursery 3 days a week and is going to whilst I am maternity leave. I wanted to try to minimize the amount of disruption so I have tried to make any changes well before dd2 comes along.

Dd was due to move to the next room up about now so I asked could they do it straight after Christmas or wait until Easter as I wanted to minimise any changes happening when dd2 came along - dd was moved at beginning of Jan - so has now settled in to the big class.

I moved dd out of her room into a bigger room as dd2 will be going into the smaller nursery - did this at Christmas.

I have bought a Phil and Ted buggy - and have started using this already even though dd2 isn't here yet.

I bought dd a 'baby doll' for Christmas so she could get used to a baby IYSWIM. (Most dolls are not suitable for under 3's but John Lewis do one that has a plastic head and a beanbag body)

I have bought a Fifi doll as a present from the baby (when she eventually arrives).

Like you my major concern is re breastfeeding. I bf dd1 for 10 weeks and would dearly love to bf dd2 for longer - not sure how easy this is going to be with a toddler wanting attention etc - will see how it goes - however I think I will be relying a lot more on Cbeebies.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2006 13:26

Lots of people recommend a special "breastfeeding" box of toys which the elder child only gets to play with whilst you're feeding. Learning the skill of feeding one handed whilst reading to the elder child is a good idea too.

Cbeebies is a godsend...

TBH, DS1 was exactly 2 when DS2 arrived and it didn't cause a blip at all. I didn't do anything special bar buying him a plastic shark from his baby brother.

littlerach · 03/02/2006 13:29

There is an Usborne nook which we read to DD1, about The New Baby.
And she was bought her own baby by my mum for her to copy me.
And of course the baby bought her a present too!

hotmama · 03/02/2006 13:30

Also, I have got dd to sit next to me to read books rather than sit on my knee - so hopefully bf will be easier.

edodgy · 03/02/2006 13:32

Theres a great book you can get called Theres a house inside my mummy which is written in short rhyming verse.

edodgy · 03/02/2006 13:33

Also i found that the breast feeding special toy box doesn't work so much at the beginning because you're breast feeding that often the toys are no longer special!

allyco · 03/02/2006 15:12

I tried to explain to youngest DD there was a baby in tmummy's tummy and she hit me with a soup ladle

Other DDs and DH found this hilarious.

Hausfrau · 03/02/2006 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomhill · 03/02/2006 15:38

A really nice thing I did was buy ds a present from the baby. It made him feel really special.

Another biggy which is slightly going off tangent is to ask all guests to go to older child first before making a fuss over the baby. Baby hasn't a clue but first child can get a bit jealous as they are used to getting all attention.

MerlinsBeard · 03/02/2006 16:01

theres 23 months between mine and I think we over prepped ds1. I was convinced i wouldn't get to hosp in time so watched lots of baby progs on discovery so at least he knew what could happen. Now he asks to watch baby progs

We did the toy from a baby thing and also involved hium in buying a few things. we didn't over do it just simply said do u think the baby might like this.
I never had a bf box it was just another thing to remember imo but i did try and feed on the sofa so ds1 could sit with me.

Biggest and imo, the best thing we did was to keep everything the same for ds1. he still went to all his groups but went with daddy for the first one or two after ds2 was born. we kept night times as close to normal as we could too.

mil bought him a doll to look after a few months b4 ds2 was born too which he adores even nw!!

sorry rambling am shattered!!!

edodgy · 03/02/2006 21:27

I agree with Blossomhill about trying to ensure guests make a fuss of the older child my best friend entered the house after ds was born saying to my dd1 "I've come to see someone very special.......You!" It made her day.

leggymamba · 03/02/2006 21:54

we read a book called 'I want a sister' to dd (21 months when ds arrived). She knew it off by heart when he arrived and we used lines like brothers are awful everytime he cried - it made her laugh.

I forgot the present when I went to hospital so got a noddy balloon from the florist on the way out and tied it to his car seat. She was quite impressed with this - if he liked noddy he could stay. 9 months later if any one suggests sending him back she gets really upset. I'm not sure how well you can prepare them as it's a massive change, just keep them involved after the baby arrives (difficult when you're really really tired!). Keep up the nursery for as long as you can afford it as it keeps their life the same and helps keep you sane.

spub · 04/02/2006 07:23

Yet another vote for "There's a house inside my mummy" we started reading it to dd(3) this week and she loves it (so do we)!
Best of luck!

Original poster

AnnaK · 04/02/2006 15:50

Many many thanks. All advice really appreciated. I'll see if I can get the house book.

OP posts:

hockeymum · 06/02/2006 10:29

I got a brilliant book from Mothercare for my dd and me to read and fill in together before ds arrives in 2 months. Its called "Mummy's having a baby" and is £10. Its got a bit of a narrative in there about what will happen when the baby comes and things and there is space for them to draw pictures and you to write things in as well. My dd is a bit older than your ds but I think he might still like something like that. If thats a bit pricey then why not make a scrap book together with pictures from baby magazines and catalogues about what will happen when the baby comes, he can have fun getting all sticky with a pritt stick and then he can look at it himself to make sense of what is happening.

Also definitely get a good present for him from the baby. He'll be really impressed if the baby knows what his favourite character or toy is! My dd is having a baby annabell (instead of having it at her birthday - not cheap) but she will be able to bring it home to look after until me and the baby come home (several days later). A few cheap videos might come in handy for the breastfeeding times too (morrisons have Pingu and a few other classics for £2.99 at the moment - you could ask family to buy him one when they visit and make a big fuss of him being a big brother!)

Good luck

CarlyP · 06/02/2006 10:34

i had ds2 when ds1 was 11mths! so he wasnt toooo sure of what was happening. but we bought him a present from ds2.

JoolsToo · 06/02/2006 10:38

I had 3 children - didn't do anything special when each arrived - obviously they knew there was a baby in mummys tummy - but as for presents, special toys etc - nothing. Don't think I even thought about it.

Did include them with helping with the new baby and just got on with it - never had any problems whatsoever.

It used irritate me NO END when people used to say 'is xxxxx jealous? with a knowing smile, as if it was inevitable (no they friggin aint)

GDG · 06/02/2006 18:20

I didn't do anything either - it was pretty obvious from the big bump that something was going on and each was told there was a baby on its way - that's it, nothing else.

Ds1 was 18 months when ds2 arrived, and ds2 was 20 months when ds3 arrived. No problems.

Nemo1977 · 06/02/2006 18:25

hi my ds was 2.2yrs when dd arrived. I spent the last 2 mths reading there is a house inside my mummy and im the big brother books to him. Also dont try to over compensate with attention we did that and DS ended up getting completely fed up of us and behaving worse than normal. Just try to keep as normal as possible a routine so that things arent changed too much. I also asked ds if he wanted to be involved with other baby tasks but didnt take it to heart if he didnt. Cant help with BF as I didnt do it.

OldieMum · 07/02/2006 10:22

Joolstoo - I can imagine this happening with us. I am pg and DD is 3. She is thrilled and has shown no signs of anxiety about what she calls 'her' baby. A few weeks ago she said 'My best friend is in your tummy.'

eve2005 · 07/02/2006 14:12

my daughter will be 18 months when baby is born in summer. as soon as i realised i was pregnant we did sleep training so that she would be well into a routine when baby comes.

the worst thing is going to be the fact that as i get bigger she won't understand why mummy can't carry her as much as i get bad back pain in pragnancy.

she's too young to understand but i constantly talk about the baby in mummy's tummy and what a good big sister she'll be.

we're also going to send her to a playschool a few months before baby comes two days a week so that shes used to going there and i can get a bit of a break

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