How to get a proper nights sleep???

[babybunintheoven]

Hello all,
I am 8+2 following a mmc just b4 Xmas and I just cant sleep. I have been waking early since the mc and for the last 3 weeks I have not managed more than 2 or 3 hours sleep at a time.

I am getting headaches (which I never normally do), and I am now getting upset and ratty at the slightest excuse because I am so tired.

I saw my midwife today who told me they can't do anything and I just need to relax which has really frustrated me because all I do (other than work) is lie around dozing.

I get that it is anxiety that is causing me to loose sleep, but does anyone know how I can sort this out?

You poor thing - I've been there too so I know what you're going through.

There's a good book called Overcoming Anxiety by Helen Kennerley, which gives you techniques for coping.

You can also ask to be referred to an additional support midwife, who will have the time to talk through your concerns and anxieties.

Later on in pregnancy, I found it helpful to do things which normalised pregnancy. So I went to antenatal classes again, and met up with people for whom pregnancy was still full of excitement, and hadn't been tainted by mc.

Btw. I have absolutely no trouble getting to sleep when I go to bed, my problem is staying asleep.

Everyone I talk to seems to have loads of advise on how to get to sleep, but nothing to stop me waking up.

I have been the same in each of my early pregnancies. I just don't sleep well and used to spend a lot of time on Facebook/twitter etc in the middle of the night just to try and convince myself to go back to sleep. No real advice just sympathy and it does get better. Now 38 weeks and still sleeping like a log!

Thanks cuppa, I will check out that book.
I am Hoping that getting past the 12 week mark will help a bit also so I can tell people and start getting excited about stuff.

My second message took ages to update cos of my crappy phone, it is not a response to your comment.

I expect it is due to the anxiety. I had two miscarriages prior to this pregnancy and I felt just the same early on and had some very sleepless nights.

Have you considered getting scanned privately at 9 weeks? If you get a good scan then, it is over 95% chance of carrying the pregnancy to full term. I had one at that stage and although I was still nervous between 9 and 13 weeks, I was not literally worried sick like I had been between 4 and 9 weeks.

I've had a similar problem recently - get to sleep fine and then wake up two or three hours later and can't get back to sleep. A couple of things seem to have worked for me (they don't stop me waking up, but they do help get back to sleep...getting up and reading for half an hour before going back to bed, having a quick shower (without getting my hair wet)
I think the shower works because it's been itching that's been keeping me awake often and that helps soothe it.
The other thing that's worked a couple of times is hypnosis - I got a 30 minute "stop itching" mp3 which if I can't get back to sleep I sometimes put on through my iphone (with headphones so as not to wake DH up!) Ithink the website was hypnosisworld - they have all sorts (including birthing ones which I might give a bash when it come sto it!)

insomnia relief self hypnosis is very good too. anything that makes you do some sort of progressive muscular relaxation exercise with the calming sounds on is excellent.

Terminal insomnia ( gettting to sleep ok but waking up several hours too early) is a marker for depression so if you feel you are at risk of antenatal depression then seek help sooner rather than later.

Cheers moojie, it is good to hear that there is probably an end to this and congrats and good luck with your little one!

Ta kat and haggis.
I have got a hypno track on my phone also which I have used and it helps a lot with getting back to sleep, but doesn't seem to eliminate the waking up.
I had a scan last week after some bleeding which showed all was ok, and I thought this might help, but I know there is still risk. My prev mc happened at 12/13 weeks. I reckon getting past this point will make a big diff to me. I may go for another private scan after 9 weeks as you suggest, I think this may help and right now I would pay that much for a good nights sleep!!

Kat - I think we met prev on a mc thread last yr, i cannot recall if you were going through a mc at the same time, but it is nice to see you on these threads now.
Congrats to you both on your pregnancy!

Yes, we probably did meet, I had a mc in April last year. This year I have a due date in April. Congrats to you too on your pregnancy and may it be a healthy and successful one for you this time.

I have found the insomnia has come back with a vengeance in the third trimester. Not due to anxiety any more but due to heartburn and other discomforts. Can't win!

I am in exactly the same position, I had an mmc in November and now 10 weeks and the worry is just immense. I drop off to sleep ok but then wake up to go to the loo and lay awake worrying until its time to get up.
It means i'm so exhausted by about mid afternoon i'm just pointless at work (hence me being on mn now).
I've found having something to eat which is high GI by the bed to nibble on helps, (I have date bar thingies) and as others have said my mother recommended listening to someone talk (even just radio 4) on headphones after waking up helps. She says she drops off to sleep with it still on and it helps keep her asleep.
I cannot WAIT for my 12 week scan when I so hope I will stop worrying and just enjoy it.

Sorry to hear about your mc. But congrats on having conceived again.

I haven't mc'd, so can only imagine that the anxiety must be immense. However, it took 2 years to conceive, so was worried myself.

Anyway, I found in the first trimester I woke a lot. Normally around 2am. And it would be hard to get back off to sleep. I found that not stressing about being awake helped. You can get into a vicious cycle. I'd find something to think about -- like a holiday or something nice, and focus on that. Getting up to the loo and a drink and repositioning helped. And then whenever my mind wandered to worry, to shift it back.

It has passed, though and now it's just a quick wake up at 5am - loo, rearrange pillows, and nod off again (26 wks now).

I am always a poor sleeper and throughout this pregnancy I have had problems getting to sleep and staying asleep. I had a mmc 2 years ago at 12-13 weeks and anxiety has been a big issue but at 30+4 I feel this is not the only contributing factor. I found having a really late night (my Sister's hen party) meant the following few nights sleep were of a much better quality and duration) and this has made me less anxious about going to bed and not being able to drift off which I think has also helped so maybe a night out or just a later than normal bedtime might make you feel more tired and more able to sleep. It was difficult staying alert that night but I believe it made a difference. Also setting a routine of getting up at the same time every day despite the quality or duration of you night time sleep can help instil more of a pattern.

I was the same for the first 14/15 weeks I could get to sleep no problem but was waking up and staying awake for hours which was exhausting.
This came back a few weeks ago (I'm now 34+5) I had an acupuncture session and it has totally sorted it out - would highly recommend it

Ive said it before and ill say it again, bachs rescue remedy spray, seriously couldnt sleep so bad in the first 12 weeks i used to cry through the days cos i was soooo tired, then i asked here for advice and a homeopath told me to get some of this, not sure which flower it is in it but has relaxing, calming sleepy properties, just spray it twice at the back of your mouth before you go to sleep and i swear you will be asleep!

if you do wake up through the night just spray it again and you nod straight back off, its totally natural to use in pregnancy. i could kiss the person who told me to try it! i got mine in tesco for around £5 but think they sell it almost everywhere.

Thanks Salempickles, definitely will give this a go.