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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you tell DCs ?

10 replies

TheNewMrsC · 18/03/2012 20:01

I'm 6+2 and more and more people are finding out (sometimes it just bursts out!!) DD is jut coming up for 7 and I really don't want her to be last to know . I also don't want her finding out by over hearing people (me DH our parents etc) talking about it. But then I don't want to have to tell her the baby isn't there anymore either . Anyone got any advice ??

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Original poster

TheNewMrsC · 18/03/2012 20:22

Bump

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Finsmum06 · 18/03/2012 20:35

Hello
I've just found out i'm expecting and my DH couldn't wait to tell DS. Having a bit of an age gap (he's 5 1/2) we want him to feel involved and like you didn't want him overhearing in conversation. On one hand this is lovely as he's so excited. On the other hand - he's so excited, I'm scared about something going wrong and him telling the world before we're ready.
Think you have to judge on your own child. Our DS hears everything and catches on quickly (the only reason I did a test was because he kept asking why I looked tired) - I think telling him has made it easier for him to accept as he can be involved from the beginning.

Original poster

TheNewMrsC · 18/03/2012 20:40

Thanx for the reply fin it's such a hard decision !!

I'm the same my DD has been desperate for a sibling for a while now and we have been trying a while too so I feel a bit over paranoid about mc and I'm so worried I will have to explain that to DD then she will have to go explain that to her friends in school . I really want to tell her this week but for some reason I'm feeling I want to be talked into it !! Congratulations on your pregnancy fin

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Popoozle · 18/03/2012 20:44

Not until after the 12 week scan with DD, due to the fact that we had told them at 7 weeks in the previous pregnancy only to discover it was MMC at the scan, which, obviously got them excited only to upset them.

With the two DSs it didn't really come up as DS1 was only 2 and it was more a matter of explaining that there was a baby in the bump! .

If there were to be a DC4 (unlikely), then we would wait until after the 12 week scan again.

Finsmum06 · 18/03/2012 20:57

I'm so sorry I didn't congratulate you. Yay congratulations :o
I feel more worried about MC this time than i can ever remember feeling with DS. DH took the decision out of my hands a little as he was so excited (i was more in shock). DS has never wanted a sibling so we felt we needed to talk him through (another reason for not wanting him to overhear it). As it is he's over the moon - which has taken a huge worry off my mind.

I think there's an arguement for both telling them and not telling them and you can only go by how you know your DD. We know a couple of people who have had babies premature, so DS has some understanding that some babies come 'early' and we have explained that we have to go to hospital to check everything is ok in a few weeks. We agreed he could tell family but that otherwise it's our secret - back to school tomorrow so we'll see how that goes
I'm sure whatever you decide will be the best decision for you and DD.

DonnaDoon · 18/03/2012 21:16

For me ..not telling anyone til 12 wk scan. It is hard to keep sctum though,so glad I can chat away on mumsnet.

Thechick · 18/03/2012 22:22

I asked this exact question a couple of days ago. It's hard isn't it? My ds guessed at the beginning of my last pregnancy and it was awful telling him when I mc. He's 12 almost 13 so he could understand a bit more. And I think for him it was a bit of a harsh life lesson that sometimes things go horribly wrong, but you have to pick yourself up and move forward. It was really awful though, having to be a shoulder for him when i was going through my own stuff, but i think he also helped me get over it as i had him to look after. I'm 4+5 weeks and he saw something I googled about pregnancy on my phone and asked me if I was pregnant and I told him. So fingers crossed everything goes okay.

babybrain3 · 19/03/2012 08:30

I'm 11 weeks now, but we told our dc 8 + 10 a few weeks ago as ds developed shingles and until I had the blood test I didn't know if I was immune, so had to give an explanation why I couldn't go neat him or comfort him etc.. They are very excited and haven't told anyone else (yet)!

ladygagoo · 19/03/2012 08:57

We waited to 12 weeks to tell anyone. Once we had the scan pic we thought it would be more easy for DSS (7) to get his head round. It also precipitated a conversation about where babies come from, we ordered a book in advance of this as well. Personally I wouldn't tell small children before the risk of MC is much lower. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

TinkerMaloo · 20/03/2012 14:10

I told my DS as soon as I knew with both his sister and the bump I am carrying now. He was 6 then and is 8 now. He handled it really well, I just told him the truth but also warned him that sometimes babies decide not to hang around.
He is perceptive and I dont hide emotion well, so keeping him in the dark wouldnt be fair (or easy for that matter) nomatter which way things went.

hth

and congrats :)

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