Irrational fear of MC

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Before i started TTC I had no idea how common MC is. I am now 5+5 and absolutely thrilled. I have found MN to be the best place for when we were TTC for letting me obsessed over it and talking to similar ppl in the same situation.

HOWEVER the downside is I have also found out so much more about MC and how common it is. From ppl miscarrying at 5, 6, 8 ,12 or even after 12 week scan. The stories are heartbreaking :( A majority of the stories express that they had no symptoms of this and only found out from a scan.

I do wish that part of me havent read this as in this case, it seems like ignorance is bliss.

Is there anything i can do to minimise the risk? Are certain types of ppl at more risk than others? This is our first and we are both 30.

It's not an irrational fear. It's perfectly rational to be afraid of losing your baby. Unfortunately one in five pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester - it's happened to me twice. Ignorance isn't necessarily bliss. I was woefully unprepared for it the first time, I thought it was a rare occurence.

However, look on the bright side. 80% of people who get a positive pregnancy test will therefore get a lovely baby at the end of it! The odds are overwhelmingly in your favour. And every day you are still pregnant, your odds are getting better. By the time you have made it to 10 weeks, you have about a 95% chance of carrying to term.

There is nothing you can do to change the risk. Most miscarriages are caused by genetic abnormalities that have happened at the moment of conception. Random errors that you can't prevent. So long as you are not smoking, not getting drunk and not using drugs or drinking ten espressos a day then there is nothing that you personally can do to prevent a miscarriage that wasn't the result of a genetic error.

Mostly it is just rotten bad luck. The risk does increase with age, but this is more of a problem when you get to age 40+. At 30 you are not at an increased risk.

Do stop reading up on horror stories and try to relax and enjoy being pregnant. Read some nice positive pregnancy books and stay away from the internet if it is freaking you out.

Good luck with your pregnancy, hope you have a healthy and happy 8 months ahead.

in the Cambridge miscarriage study there was no connection with MC and previous pill use or previous termination of pregnancies (unless there had been complications). neither were there any general medical disorders found that put women at greater risk of MC. Heavy cigarette smokers seemed more at risk of a MC.
As posters above have said most MC are sporadic and usually caused by a chromosomal problem. Sadly that can happen at any age but is more common in over 40s.
As well as what katandkit said think about food- both listeria and toxoplamosis are very rare but can cause MC , see updated NHS page on foods to avoid.
www.nhs.uk/Planners/pregnancycareplanner/Pages/Carewithfood.aspx
Your midwife will do tests for rubella and sexually transmitted infections as they can cause MC and problems. Also slapped cheek (Parovirus) is dangerous . However once the child shows the bright red cheeks they are no longer infectious. Apparently most people are immune but i don't think they test to check that.
A very high fever can cause a MC so make sure you take paracetamol if you need it.
However although that all sounds like a lot of risks your chances of having a MC are far smaller than the chance of having a full term healthy baby so try not to worry excessively. Unfortunately parenthood is full of worries (along with the joys).

I have had this too, but I find it helps to focus on the positive. There is a chance in any pregnancy that you will miscarry, but there is a greater chance that you will not.

Another thing I find helpful - someone who had had a lot of losses wrote on a forum somewhere that she just enjoyed every pregnancy for every day that it lasted, rather than worrying that it might end.

I treated the first few weeks like that this time, not counting my chickens (ahem) but just enjoying being pregnant. I was so worried last time around (partly because I had some bleeding at one point) and it just spoiled my experience of being pregnant some of the time TBH.

You can do all that is recommended - i.e. reduce caffeine, not do overly strenuous (i.e. new) exercise, avoid certain foods, but the vast majority of miscarriages and are not to do with anything that the mother has done or not done.

Good luck and congratulations! :)

I'm sure you'll be fine, one tip, watch your caffeine intake.

google caffeine in pregnancy for allowances and how much is in tea coffee etc

Hi there! Your fears are completely normal, we ALL spend most of our pregnancies worrying about things going wrong! I have one healthy ds (3yo) and have had one mc at 8 weeks, and am now 8wks preg again.

Don't smoke, don't drink alcohol, and have minimal caffeine intake (the guidelines recommend no more than 1-2 cups coffee a day or 2-4 cups tea). The guidelines are such simply because above that level of caffeine there has been shown to be an increased risk of miscarriage but below that level there hasn't been a demonstrated link. If you want to be extra cautious, just avoid it.

Other than that, it is just a case of time will tell. The waiting game is difficult and can make you anxious, but the odds of your pregnancy continuing smoothly are in your favour. Congrats and I hope everything goes well for you :)

Hello, you have my utmost sympathies. I am 9 weeks pregnant and am a complete bag of nerves every day as I am so paranoid about miscarrying. I have had some bleeding whcih hasn't helped but a scan this morning confirmed everything is ok.

I don't really have any advice as my response to people telling me to 'relax' and not to worry is to want to punch them in the face.

Could you book an early private scan for reassurance if you can't bring yourself to wait til 12 weeks? I am only 9 weeks and we have had 3 scans alread y because of the bleeding.

Thunderbolt I think you are being a bit harsh towards the OP. There are things that can be done to reduce the risk of MC- as others have said on here- stop smoking, cut out alcohol and cut down caffeine. Don't have overly hot baths or use jacuzzis/saunas etc. These are all things that are inadvisable in pregnancy precisely because of the risk of miscarriage.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I guess I have to try stop worrying (easier said than done and not sure if I am able to achieve until baby actual arrives ! Lol) ... 80% success sounds much better than 1/5 failure , so I will now think in terms of the former!

thunderboldkid I am def going to book in an early scan before the 12 week scan. We would like to tell our parents before the 12 weeks but want to make sure everything is ok before so. At what week do you think it's best? We're thinking 7th week as that's when they can detect a heartbeat right?

I had really bad cramps this morning, I had to go to the loo... Didn't know whether I wanted to go for a bowel movement (sorry tmi) or puke! Ended up getting cold sweats then fainting. Next minute I had dh offering water to me and proping up my head while I was still said on the loo!! Very attractive !! They always say as long as its not bad enough that it makes ur body double over than chances are its ok. But surely that depends on your pain threshold??!!

Phones nhs direct and they don't think it's too much of a concern but to go see doctor anyway. I was going to book my first appointment for today anyway. They always say as long as its not bad enough that it makes ur body double over than chances are its ok. But surely that depends on your pain threshold??!!

Ah can't wait to have my first scan to provide some comfort

OP tell whoever you want whenever you want. I personally tell immediate family the day I get the BFP but noone else till either I get the all clear following the NT scan and 3ple test (in my first pg), or when mc and needed some space (last time).

I understand the TMI thing with some of the boards here. I wish I had the self control to stay away!

I was soooo tempted to tell our parents on mothers day! What a perfect present it would have been ??!! But we held our tongue....

My mum is desperate for grandchildren and I don't want to risk telling her and then for something to happen in the next few weeks. As its still sinking in for me and dh, we thought we use the time between now and the 7 week scan to let it sink in for ourselves. However, I went shopping with my mum on Sunday and so many times I was going to cave and let it slip!! I can't wait to tell her!!! :)

I still have those worries and I'm 34 weeks now. I think it is the hormones and knowing that there is a little one in here I loved from day one. xx

I could have written your op. I'm 5+5 today aswell.

I have a ds already and don't think I was quite so anxious with him although the worry was always in the back of my mind (luckily everything went v smoothly and he's a v healthy 20mo!)

This time though I'm really worrie something will go wrong and I agree mn doesn't help in a way because of the mc stories.

I don't know why I'm so worried I'm only 21 so the odds are really in my favour.

I think they should do routine scans at 8 weeks aswell for peace of mind!

If you are going to pay for a private early scan I recommend 8-9 weeks as the best time. Before 8 weeks it can be inconclusive as to whether or not the pregnancy is viable, especially if you are not 100% certain of your conception date, or you have a longer cycle.
By 9 weeks, even if your dates were a week or so out, you'd still see a healthy embryo with a heartbeat and it would be properly reassuring for you. Whereas often women who go for a scan at 6-7 weeks end up being invited back for a rescan a week or two later and are worried sick during the interval because they didn't see a heartbeat yet.

There is no need for the NHS to provide routine scans at 8 weeks, there is no medical reason for a scan at that point. They do provide them for peace of mind to women who have had multiple miscarriages in the past, but it would not be financially possible to provide scans for no medical reason to otherwise healthy women who are getting excessively worried due to Dr Google syndrome.

:o at Dr Google Syndrome

I was only joking...

i wish all NHS EPUs did provide reassurance scans for women who have had recurrent miscarriages, sadly not the case. My local one will not scan on that basis alone, there has to be a medical reason i.e pain/bleeding or previous ectopic. I expect if I were under care of recurrent miscarriage unit then they would scan regularly? anyway i don't yet quite qualify for that service and obviously hope i never will.