Falling apart today :(

[justhayley]

Hey all I'm 34 weeks & I'm feeling really stressed &emotional, frightened, totally overwhelmed & alone right now, oh and exhausted and irritable.

I don't no if iv got a fresh batch of hormones in the last few weeks or my situations are just too much for me to cope with.

Alot of my stress is coming from work - can't even begin to explain what a mess things are there. My boss has said he can't afford to pay me maternity pay, so I can't just go on maternity leave to rid myself if a lot of the stress as I will be Fu*^#d financially. I applied for Maternity allowance today but until they came back with an answer I pretty much am being forced to continue working the crazy hours I am and I feel it's starting to take too much of an effect on my health & state if mind.
Im working 8-8 5 days a week & 10-2 on Saturday's I live an hour away from work so am commuting everyday on squashed trains am I'm so exhausted I'm coming home every night & just breaking down in tears.

My partners in the Army & isn't at Home so I'm not getting any support day to day from him.

Im really trying to keep things together, but at the moment feel like im one more thing away from totally falling apart. I no you ladies can't really help, but I just need to vent somewhere as I havnt got anyone to talk to & cry on tonight :(

I'm feeling sorry for myself so lots of hugs and sympathy would be great.

Sorry for such a miserable post - I'm usually a very happy person believe it or not lol.

Sending you lots of hugs through cyber space ! Hope things get better for you soon :) xxxooo

oh hayley so sorry to hear your feeling down, it sounds as if its the situation alongside your hormones that's causing it :(

when is your dp back on leave? until then do you have any family or a close friend you can talk things through with, i find that always helps and tbh it normally is my best friend rather than my dh as she is truthful and caring where as i find dh says what he thinks i want to hear iyswim

not too sure about the work situation however i thought your employer claimed back smp from the government so wouldn't be paying it anyhow?? could you work from home to save on the traveling? or reduce your hours? when will you hear about ma as you seriously could give birth at anytime and stress really isn't great at your stage of pregnancy?

sending you a big hug and lots of positive thoughts hopefully things will change for the better soon xxxx

Sorry you're having a bad time....

Don't think your boss can refuse to pay maternity....he/she will get it back from the government anyway. Talk to Cab?

Hiya Hayley

I'm a payroll supervisor. Your employer cannot refuse to pay you SMP on the grounds that you've stated. He is breaking the law and you must seek advice on how to tackle him. What might also help is small employers can apply for funding in advance if they cannot afford it in advance.

Also what he may not be aware of is he can claim back at least 92% of what he pays you. He does this by reducing his monthly tax and NI bill to the HMRC, although I suspect he may not be paying it every month.

Please please please get yourself to the doctors and signed off. He is exploiting you and doesn't care.

If you need anymore help or advice you can pm me

Also when an employer refuses to pay SMP they must give you a form called an SMP1. It explains why and what you can do next. I've put a link to it below for you.

I am so angry for you. Don't believe him when he states he cannot afford it. I used to work in a payroll bureau and you would be amazed at the amount of clients who tried to wriggle out of paying SMP. I wouldn't mind but you can't claim sick pay back but you can SMP

Anyway here is the link SMP1

Excellent advice superslattern hope you get things sorted now :)

Hi all, thank you so so much for all your advice, i wasnt aware he could claim back my SMP. Iv sent off the MA allowance form along with the SMP1 but will get in touch with HMRC first thing Monday and see what they advise - they should be able to tell me if he's paying NI every month - or if they have to keep that private I guess they will start looking into the company if he's not.

I really just want to relax now & enjoy my last few weeks of pregnancy without stressing my self out - I no it's no good for me or my bambino and I need to start getting rested - if I was to go into labour now I would be too exhausted to do much.

Nice surprise today just when I needed it, my DP is coming home tonight - just for one night but It's better than nothing.

I don't want to get all emotional but I actually don't no how I would have got through pregnancy without mumsnet. Every little is this normal questions gets answered & every emotional breakdown gets support - u ladies are fab thank you xxxx