You know that you are pregnant when.....

[bonbonpixie]

Hi ladies. This is just a bit of fun really. With so many of us plaged with sore feet, backs etc I thought we could all use a giggle!!

So i'll start. You know you're pregnant when....
The most important thing on your bedside table is a bottle of gaviscon....complete with straw!!

*plauged

*plagued (third time lucky, damn stupid phone!)

you leave work 15 mins early every day because you've eaten your lunch, and are panicking about how hungry you'll get if you stay any longer

When your day is planned around where the nearest loo is.

You prefer primark special oversized cotton granny pants to those cheeky little lace things that got you in this bother in the first place!

You make that noise old people make when you stand up or sit down 'oouuugghhhh' and hold your lower back and pull a face just so evryone knows you are uncomfortable and pregnant.

you buy granny pants a size larger than usual because your cheeky little lace things are killing you,
get the home,
try them on,
and they're still too tight and make you want to murder people

Oikopolis - so true! And then you spend much of the day rearranging them as they continue to roll down over your bump!

You know you are pregnant when...

every shopping trip is planned with precise directions as to where all toilets are located and to avoid all shops which have pungent smells such as coffee shops.bakeries or Lush.

you spend your nights for nine months of your life waking every couple of hours to pee!

your body gets poked and prodded and scanned to within an inch of your life and you don't care so long as it is over soon!

you obsess over every ache, pain, twinge, discharge and all symptoms in general only to be told by midwife/doctor/other mums that it is normal when pregnant.

Hmm can you tell I only have a few weeks left and can't wait for it to be over.

........you plan your meals and snacks for the day in advance, to make sure you don't get to the gibbering, shaking stage.......

My snack plan goes as follows:

Apple
Oatcakes and cheese
Grapes
yoghurt Kitkat
banana Salt and vinegar crisps
handful of nuts huge chunk of cheese

Anyone seeing a pattern here....?!

You turn into Dolly Parton almost overnight.

You carry little boxes of raisins around with you so you can stave off the sick feeling you get if you start to feel hungry (thus starting that journey of always having odd raisins rattling around the bottom of your handbag - 7 years and counting now . . .).

You go on an 11 hour transatlantic flight and refuse all meals because you can't put the tray down!! (I was seriously HUGE!)

Sky planner is filled with things like A Baby Story, Bringing up Baby, Portland Babies and Baby Tales ;)

you can no longer see nor care what the lady garden is doing

when you examine every pantyliner and substance on it!

when you wish pjs were ok to wear out!

when you wish you could stop crying at anything and everything ie the sun is shinning the sun isnt shinning the sun may shine etc!

when you look foward to the day your in absloute agony and groaning like a hippo as these have been the longest 9 months of your life and anything has to be better than this!

The first thing you do in the morning is sing happy birthday to your bump every time you're another week along ;)

millystar I do this too-I thought I was the only weirdo. Also get grumpy with dh if he hasn't remembered to wish bump happy birthday before he leaves for work every time he's a week on (poor dh!) each week seems like such an achievement.

You have to abandon your weekly shop because some soppy song is playing throughout the store and you've turned into a gibbering lump of tears...

Each time I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was pregnant before taking a test as I had an overwhelming urge to kill DH :P

Hahahaha FLORIN i make OH say Happy Birthday too!

Well it is their birthday i dont care what anyone says!

I can already feel her in my tummy groaning becuase i'm an embarrassing mum lol

You berate yourself mercilessly for daring, out of pure hunger, to scoff some Brie (supermarket-bought, fridge-cold) at a friend's house.

You can't put your shoes on without needing a breather half way through and a swig of gaviscon to finish.

spannermary so true and so funny my nice underwear is there ready for the day when they fit again.

heartmoonshadow same here that really grinds the its because you are pregnant reason I know that but I want a medical reason.

CaurnieBred its ashame that bumps aren't nine to five

When you have an urge to eat everything in site and then cry because you didn't really want that but now want something else.

You have to allow an extra 5-10 minutes every morning so you have time to get your shoes on.

You've given up worrying about your hairy muff/legs/toes because you can no longer see them!

Your laptop screen is becoming more eclipsed by your bump every day.

You care whats in the fridge and actually go to the supermarket when food runs low!

You have a new interest in cake.

Your boobs have their own postcode and can be seen from space!

You have to ask dh to paint your toenails for you because you can't bend to touch your toes anymore.

You feel tired all day, but can't sleep through the night!