Nervous about consultant's appointment

[Benaberry]

hoping someone might be able to help having been in this position! (and please bear with me as a long-term lurker first time poster)

I'm 20weeks pg with DC2 and booked in for an appointment with the consultant on Thursday

Back story is that DS was an EMCS delivery 5 years ago after 30+ hour back-to-back labour during which I'd managed to stay fairly mobile/on all fours and on gas and air, got to 8cms before waters broke, meconium, strapped down onto monitor and all progression then stopped - next thing I knew it was sign here, brakes on bed off, dashing down corridor to theatre. One thing I was more scared of than anything was a CS (mum had had a terrible crash CS with me), and although it wasn't the dreadful thing I'd imagined, I ended up with problems feeding, PND, general feelings of inadequacy and it took a long time for me to come around to the idea of ttc for DC2.

I understand I'm high risk for this one - high BMI and obv previous CS, hence consultant, but what will Thursday's appt really be about? had minimal contact with midwives as #2, and although they're keen for VBAC, don't really know procedure this time around. I thought I wanted a VBAC, and if I knew I was going to successfully achieve one, would be more than happy for this route, but if all likelihood is that it will end with another CS, almost think I'd rather just go down the ELCS route to start with. Think I'm just over-thinking things and getting in a muddle! Doesn't help that I've been signed off for over a month with high BP and really severe headaches, just gone back to work, but found plenty to stew about during the down-time...

If anyone can shed any light on what's likely to happen, i.e. procedure in this situation, I'll probably stop worrying a bit!

I had an EMCS with DS1 and wanted to discuss VBAC, so I was referred to a consultant this time as well. It was fine - just like talking to a different MW, but with more time for discussion (I've found the CMW apps a bit abrupt with %232). We went through DS's birth, which I found really interesting, and then discussed what I wanted this time round.

I had another app at 36 weeks where we wrote my birth plan together, and now I'm just waiting for baby to appear (40+4). Try not be nervous - I'm sure it will be fine

Hi bena - I went through a very similar situation with the birth of my DS, but never actually dilated at all. Same things regarding feeding and feelings of inadequacy - and am now 24 weeks with DS2, after needing six years to build up the courage to try again! I also have a high BMI.

We saw the consultant earlier on than you are, and it was a good chance to discuss what happened before and air our concerns about the same thing happening again. Because my pain relief wore off during the emcs , we have decided to have an elective this time around. It was really nice to talk about the c-section not as a terrifying and scary emergency thing, but something that we can tailor and have some semblance of control over. Like you, if I could have been guaranteed the same thing not happening again, I would have liked to have tried VBAC, but the stress and fear of everything going wrong again led me to make my decision.

The consultant has been very supportive, and booked me in that day for my elective - which was slightly freaky! I recently saw the anaethetist as well, who couldn't have been nicer and put me at ease about everything.

Whatever you decide to do, I think with a second baby, I have felt a lot more confident about airing my views and needs - whereas first time I think I just went along with everything rather meekly.

Hopefully your consultant will be able to guide and advise you, but ultimately the decision is yours, and also doesn't need to be set in stone.

All the very, very best with it.

aw, so sorry you're worried about his Bena.

As others have said, your appointment will be a chance for a longer discussion about what is best for you and your baby. You'll probably be given a rough idea about what you can expect to happen, though of course lots of things can change in the meantime.

I also had a horrible EMCS with DC1. I then had to have an ELCS at 38 weeks with DC2 to get him out safely.

I was absolutely devastated that I wouldn't be able to VBAC as I'd hated the recovery from the first CS and had problems with feeding etc; I cried and cried and cried in the 24 hours waiting for the ELCS.

BUT, I have to say, it was such a calm, stress-free, controlled, non-emergency operation that I've requested an ELCS again for DC3.

The recovery from the second section was actually quicker than the first - I'd heard people say this but hadn't believed it! And I think, knowing what was going to happen, as opposed to the million different ways a VBAC can go, was good for relieving my anxieties.

Looking back (retrospect is marvellous isn't it?!) I'd do anything to avoid that EMCS situation and I don't feel any kind of inadequacy for not having pushed a baby out. We're alive!

Good luck Bena, and I hope your consultant can put your mind at rest.

Thank you to all - what you've said makes sense, and has put my mind at rest somewhat.

Will be interesting to see tomorrow what is said about DS1's birth - it's all a bit blurry due to so much G&A beforehand I think; I was certainly away with the fairies, and will see if some clarity comes out of that too. In hindsight, although it was a scary situation, it was nowhere near as traumatic as some that I've read about (ifherbumwereabungalow ), I think it was as much as anything that I was scared before I even went into labour of a CS because of what happened to my mum, and then having gone into labour spontaneously just before my due date (DS actually arrived the day he was due amazingly), and got so far, had thought things would be fine. I had a really scary, abrupt and generally pretty horrid midwife as well for the majority of the time I was on the delivery suite (can't fault the one who came on shift and was there for the CS), who I was actually so scared of I was actually afraid to ask for someone else (I'm a bit wet...!).

Hopefully having the chance to talk it all through properly with someone tomorrow will help me to get things clear in my mind - wish I could be more like DH, who's so much more practical - as long as we're both safe, he's not fussy what happens!

Will let you know what happens :)

Do let us know what happens Bena - it sounds like you had a pretty horrible time all round - at least this time, you know exactly how you don't want it to go, and will be better equipped to stand up for yourself against decisions being taken out of your hands, or evil midwives! Good luck.

Well, that was really rather underwhelming in the end!

Was over an hour late going in (and appt was for 1015 this morning, so not much chance to get that far behind really!), and when I finally got in there, they didn't have my notes from last time, not sure why. They were reliant on me telling them what had happened last time, bearing in mind it was over 5 years ago and I'd been on G&A for about 9 hours by the time it all started going a bit wrong, I have very hazy memories to say the least!

Then all they could really tell me was no different to the midwife already or what I know myself, have a choice of VBAC or ELCS, no guarantees with VBAC, CFM would be required, ELCS would be booked for c.39 weeks.

They're calling me back at 28 weeks for an appointment with my notes this time, to try to go through what happened, why, and what the likelihood is of it happening again, things I'd hoped we could talk about today, before making a decision at 36 weeks.

They also got pretty shirty with me for having had my scans privately - for various reasons, but largely because it's a much more pleasant experience, the chap who does them is a really, really experienced consultant who's also really nice, and DH's medical insurance covers them! Left today wishing it covered the birth as well...

Best bit was getting to hear heartbeat again, especially for DH as he doesn't come to midwife appointments

Was actually really teary by the time I got home again (darn hormones!) :(

Sorry it was a bit disappointing.

I had EMCSs with DD1 and DD2 (had tried for a VBAC but failed to progress, DD2's heart beat kept decelerating and it turned out she had the cord round her neck).

My first EMCS was horrid, and like ifherbum my epidural wore off during the op. The second EMCS was actually a really positive experience, although still an emergency procedure. I felt a lot more in control, that it was medically necessary / beneficial, and not so much "done to" as I had with DD2. I had changed hospitals as well, so I was somewhere I felt comfortable and respected, and I had a much better recovery (up and making myself a cup of tea within 12 hours of the op). It settled a lot of the demons I still had from DD1s birth (after which I had needed to see a psychologist). Now I'm pg with DD3, and will be having an ELCS this time.

The hospital should have a VBAC midwife - have you been booked in to see her? They can have very different views to the consultants - the one I saw with DD2 was a bit of a rebel, and just brilliant (she told me that when she was in labour with one of her own children, she actually slapped the consultant, then hid from him in the bathroom! ). She took me off consultant care, even though I had a BMI of 34, and obviously the previous EMCS, and was open to me having a waterbirth. She also said I didn't need to have continuous monitoring (in the end I did because of decelerations in DD2's heartbeat). I was also offered a VBAC this time, and the mw told me one other woman had finally had her VBAC there with her fifth child, after 4 previous EMCS!

My hospital were a bit snotty about my private scan too, even though they are usually so nice (you didn't go to MUMS did you? - I would love to have £7000 spare to pay for private care with them!!!!). You are perfectly within your rights to have a private scan - don't feel the need to justify it to us or the hospital!

Be forceful with them about what you want, and who you want to talk to, if you need to be (I have had to do this in all my pgs). I hope you get to discuss what you need to, so you can come to whatever is the right decision for you.

Good luck!