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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

People touching bump!

40 replies

Weezie85 · 11/03/2012 07:32

I really hate people touching me, I really don't like hugs and things like that and get very uncomfortable about it. Even now I feel awkward hugging parents and PIL.
Have no problem with midwife touching me as it is her job. Just not a touchy feely person.
Since getting a bump people seem to think it is now acceptable to just reach out and feel the bump. I mean really.
Has this been happening to anyone else? Does anyone else feel really uncomfortable with it? If so what have you done to stop people doing it. Most of the people are folks I work with, one was someone I had talked to once over email about work related matters only. Nothing else, never met them and they just put their horrible grubby mitt on my bump. They didn't even know if I was pregnant and could see I was horrified, so they actually asked 'you are expecting right?'
Sorry, just had to rant and see if anyone else felt the same.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Flisspaps · 11/03/2012 07:38

I hate it, DHs work colleagues are buggers for it. No strangers have had a grope though. If they did, I'd rub them back

Mumof1plustwins · 11/03/2012 07:41

I've never had people do this! I guess it depends where you live..I would just say "please don't touch, I don't like people touching me" kind of thing. It's your body after all!

Original poster

Weezie85 · 11/03/2012 07:44

They only do it once as they know not to do it again. Thinking of making a badge saying 'Do not touch the bump' Haha.
It's just so strange. Some of them are people who know how much I don't like being hugged, yet they still did it. It's like they couldn't help themselves.
I just feel so uncomfortable by it. I know its pathetic to feel like that but I just do not like it.

OP posts:

legoballoon · 11/03/2012 07:46

I would always ask first, but I can understand the impulse. It's a wonderful thing that's going on in there and I think it can sometime be people's excited response to something pleasant. And I'm not really a hugger either!

legoballoon · 11/03/2012 07:48

But having read your OP, if they have to ask after 'you're expecting right?' they're being a bit rude. I never ask a woman if she's expecting, unless she's in labour - having learnt the hard way

Original poster

Weezie85 · 11/03/2012 07:51

Thats the thing, this woman was someone I had emailed once to help on a work matter only. I don't advertise to people I don't know I am pregnant as she works at a different office and I have only dealt with her once. I think she asked as I looked so horrified that she had her hand on my bump. Haha.
I know people get excited and that's fine, but it just seems the idea of personal space has gone out the window with these people. I would never touch someone elses bump unless they invited me to. I would never dream of it.

OP posts:

legoballoon · 11/03/2012 07:54

Different strokes for different folks I guess. Try to accept their bump-strokes in the excited-for-you vein they are intended.

HardCheese · 11/03/2012 08:08

OP, I don't think you need to be an untouchy-feely person to find this a maddening invasion of your personal space! I'm naturally fairly kissy/huggy, but I choose who I kiss or hug, and don't like being lunged at by colleagues or virtual strangers in lifts.

Take a very straight approach, look them in the eye, and tell them not to do it ever again. I don't give a flying fuck whether it's intended in some kind of fuzzy spirit of pregnancy excitement, it's inappropriate and annoying. You're doing every other pregnant woman a favour. Perhaps the minority who are OK with it could wear a badge to say so?

Original poster

Weezie85 · 11/03/2012 08:20

Haha, HardCheese , love the response thank you. I wouldn't mind if people actually did ask but people seem not to. They just touch and completely catch me off guard.
I don't mind some people touching, like close friends and relatives, but I would prefer it if I said to them, rather than just assuming it is ok.

OP posts:

littlemissnormal · 11/03/2012 08:38

Eeew I'm totally with you on this too!
HATE people just coming up to me and touching my bump. Someone needs to invent a top that gives people an electric shock when they touch your belly!!

HaggisNeepsTatties · 11/03/2012 08:52

I'm too early on for this to happen to me, but I was reading the mumsnet pregnancy guide and was laughing out loud at one woman who grabbed someone's testicles when they did that! On another thread someone told a woman not to do it again or she'd grab their boobs. They did it again and she did grab their boobs! You wouldn't do it normally, so why do people think it's ok when you're pregnant?

Clockingout · 11/03/2012 09:37

Its probably only happened 2/3 times in 3 pregnancies. I dont tend to really look pregnant till right at the end, so people dont know. I absolutely hate anyone touching my tummy, even my husband and kids :( am quite funny about it, I don t know why. I would not want to touch a pregnant tummy personally, I just cant see what the attraction is, are they expecting to feel a kick? On a similar note, are you the sort of person who rubs their bump incessantly? See I'm not that either. I might put my hand on my tummy in private, but I dont stroke or rub it, perhaps I am odd!

morethemerrier · 11/03/2012 11:11

Wait until you have your new gorgeous baby, and people feel the need to put there hands in your pram and touch!!!

Honestly, that for me far outweighs the touching bump thing, seriously I don't know why people think its OK to touch your babies face!!!!

My sister once growled at a woman in a lift who went in for a stroke of my niece's cheek when she was weeks old!

These are probably the same 'bump feelers' and I am now quite adept at fending off all unwanted touching of both bump and baby!

Westcountrylovescheese · 11/03/2012 11:15

New Look do a 'don't touch the bump' maternity t-shirt. At 18 weeks I've already had two inappropriate bump touches to which I looked at them like they'd just touched my nether regions and backed away... I will be buying the t-shirt!

GizzyBoo · 11/03/2012 14:41

There are loads of the t-shirts on ebay

Maybe a selection of those would help

PeahenTailFeathers · 11/03/2012 16:37

Say "Ow" whenever someone touches your stomach. That'll put them off touching you and hopefully other pregnant women as well :)

MissB2 · 11/03/2012 16:42

Hi,

I am too early for this too. I went to Tesco earlier and a girl had a t shirt on that said 'Hands off my bump'!!! I thought it was quite funny. You should Google it. I am sure you wouldn't want to wear a t shirt like that all the time but there must be badges or something for this problem out there. I also saw a girl on the train ages ago which said something like 'Mind the bump'. If not, there is a niche market out there that someone needs to fill!

Yummymummyyobe1 · 11/03/2012 16:48

I don't mind friends and family touching my bump, but the freaks out there that feel my bump\ask to touch my bump and somehow think it is anything to them need to get a life.

I have have taken to giving a look and a sigh and walking away. xx

Badgerina · 11/03/2012 17:24

Unless it's someone I know, like and am happy to have touch my tummy, (ie: friends), I tend to put my hands up and move bump out of reach and say "oops! personal space!" in a jokey sort of way. It gets the point across without being confrontational (and to be honest if anyone takes offence to something as benign as that, then the really ought to eff off!) It doesn't happen very much to me though, most people ask if they can have a pat.

rednellie · 11/03/2012 18:17

My FIL kissed my bump. I almost head butted him!

I think it just goes with the territory of being pregnant and public property - everyone thinks they can feel you up and offer inappropriate advice and comment on how large you are. This pregnancy I've managed to avoid too much bump fondling, I think I've become a bit more scary since having my DD! Also, as I'm having twins and am now 37 weeks I think people are actually starting to be terrified of my belly rather than hypnotised by it! Good luck and congratulations!

Badgerina · 11/03/2012 18:34

rednellie OMG. Ugh. That man needs to learn some boundaries!

Thinking about the whole touching the bump thing got me thinking about the unbelievably insensitive comments that people often make about and to pregnant women: "You're massive", "Is it twins then?", "Wow, you're as big as a house!", "Oh you're only 6 months pregnant?????" all of which = "You're fucking fat, lady". What gives????!!!!!!???

Original poster

Weezie85 · 11/03/2012 18:37

Thanks for all the advice and the t-shirts. May start wearing one on dress down day. Haha.
I am glad I am not alone in the feeling of it being weird people touching bump.

OP posts:

ToxicToria · 11/03/2012 18:38

I hated that when I was pregnant too but I have no idea how to go about stopping it, I was lucky in that I had a very small bump so it was only in the last few weeks I had a bump as such to touch.

McPhee · 11/03/2012 18:44

I love family and friends touching my bump, I'm rather proud of it. God, I even flashed it at the beautician giving me a pedicure

LouisaJF · 11/03/2012 19:31

I don't mind friends and family touching as long as they ask first. However, on two separate occasions I have been in the supermarket quietly minding my own business and had complete strangers touch the bump. It's a complete invasion of personal space and I hate it. This is MY baby and MY body, it is not public property.

I also hate the constant reminders of my size, which I seem to get all day. Yes, I know I look like a whale but you don't need to point it out.

I think pregnancy is making me grumpy!

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