Think my mucus plug has gone.... and I cant stop crying!

[sillymillyb]

I've been a total emotional cow lately, due mostly to the fact that I am single and feeling a bit alone.

I've just been to the loo and there is what looks like jelly when I wipe (sorry tmi) I know that it could be weeks still, but I just feel so bloody alone cos normally this is the point you'd tell your partner and then your sort of, in it together, so to speak.

I'm scared of what is about to happen, and of being on my tod - because even if my mum or best friend is there with me, it's not the same, and I just feel so very alone.

Right. Must stop crying. For a start I need to finish packing my sodding hospital bag! Sorry for spewing here, I've isolated myself in RL and there isn't anyone I can really dump this on, it all feels very stupid to be so emotional over a sodding mucus plug :(

good luck - mums are better than fellas anyway Im dreading the sort of 'help' my OH offers when im in labour! hope its a lovely quick birth for you and looking forward to hearing your news :)

Hello I was on my own pretty much from conception with my dd so have been there and got the t.shirt!!! You will be fine I promise!!!

Have you rung the labour ward to let them know that things have started happening?

My mucous plug went on the monday teatime and after a lot of false starts my dd was finally born on Thursday evening!!!

Good luck

Ah thank you all for your lovely messages.... here is a quick update before I head to bed!

My mum arrived pretty much after I got off the loo with a bleed - it wasn't gloopy like the show though, so I called the labour ward, and they asked me to go in just to check it was ok (I am rhesus neg and had a few bleeds throughout pregnancy)

The bleed part is fine and prob connected to a loop biopsy I had last year, but my babies heart beat was really erratic and there was some worry over whether he was in distress. After much monitoring, he has settled down and they have let me come home. Phew! So, so, so relieved he is ok. I wasn't worried till the midwife ran off to get a doctor - but that was pretty scary.

They examined me and he is well engaged but the neck of my womb(?) is closed. I cant remember if she said womb? The neck of something pretty vital is closed anyway!

So, I am just home now and my mum has gone back to her house, I am so knackered I think I am past being emotional - though I suspect this may start up again tomorrow as my hormones are all over the place and reality is kicking in.

Its really good to hear that a lot of you were on your own at first with your babies and enjoyed it, I sometimes feel like the only one in this situation. I think the anticipation of how I will feel / cope is probably universal to all women about to have their first babies - but Im pinning a lot of those feelings on being by myself, if that makes sense?

Ah sod it, its too late to be analysing feelings! I am going to head to bed and hope I get some sleep. I can sense this may be a long haul birth thread!

Thank you all again for your support, it has really made a difference walking into the house to see your messages x

Good woman, go to bed and rest. Best thing. Let your body do it's thing - in the wise words of the Hackney Doula,it has grown a lovely baby for the best part of a year without you doing anything and it knows what to do. I cried lots just before I went into active labour - think of it as getting rid of negative fears and frustration so your body can focus on the primal job in hand - the job it can do, without your busy brain jumping in - and get some rest and downtime in so you are in the best possible shape for the time to come.

Your little one is getting ready to meet you. You are all he or she wants and needs. You are the whole world, and more than enough. You are perfect and just right and the very best person for your baby to be with. You fit each other and you are ready to meet each other,n whether it takes hours or days to see each others faces. The waiting is almost over. Good luck and a gentle journey for you both into each others arms.

oooow so so excited for you, this is the best bit! only a short while to go and you meet your precious baby!! Remember your hypnobirthing and do whatever it is that you do with that.

Glad everything is plodding along nicely for you :) will check back for updates

Hope you got some rest, don't be hard on yourself it is an emotional time.

napdamnyou your last para there sent me blubbing (background: i have crap parents and am so scared of repeating the cycle)!

Best of luck OP!!! Rest up, you are going to meet your baby soon!! Everything will be just fine. The friend who I most admire/hope I'm a good a mum as her was single when she had DS1. You are going to be brilliant, I refer you again to napdamyou's sweet words!

Napdamyou, those are just the loveliest words.

Hope you're doing fine OP, today's a beautiful day to have your baby (or this week for that matter according to the weather centre) and you're at the mercy of your wonderful hormones that are going to guide you through this time.

Hypnobirthing was a great choice, it totally worked for me, just try and stay relaxed and let it wash over you. I'm terribly excited for you, do tell us all some of the labour as things progress.

napdamyou I might copy your lovely words if you don't mind and keep it for when it is my turn to labour... calming and reassuring. Just beautiful.

Am glad the words and wishes were welcome.
Good luck to the OP and all the other women here preparing to meet their little ones

:)

Hope you don't mind me marking my place, I really want to see how it unfolds for you :)

Sending best wishes for you and your baby :)

:)
yep, looks like you're in for the long-haul!

What a worrying weekend.
glad you were allowed home and hope you're having a duvet day today :)

Just wanted to offer a few words of solidarity- I'm about a week away from giving birth to my first baby and will be raising her as a lone parent too. Like you, my amazing mother is my birthing partner and has provided so much invaluable support.

Wishing you the very best of luck!

ooh nothing yet? hopefully sillymilly is otherwise occupied now :)

Oh nap you'll have me sobbing in a minute!

Good luck op we are rooting for you!

any movement yet silly?? keep us posted hun

goooood luck xxxxxxx

Any baby yet?

Hello all!

First off Im sorry for disappearing and not updating, I went to my mums house and have been hiding out there as I just got really nervous and felt quite vulnerable being on my own in the house. You don't care about that though do you?! the big news is.....

Well, there is still no baby! Im not sure if this is good or bad at the moment :S

I am still having nasty period pains, but there doesn't seem to be anything else happening :( I feel like I have really needed these past few days to collect my head together though. Im back at my house now (been back here about an hour) and am feeling much more capable again now, with odd moments of total terror and overwhelmingness thrown in just to keep me on my toes. But everyone gets that right?

Thank you so much for all your support and messages, reading over them has made me feel a lot more positive, and I am truly grateful. It was just what I needed to hear now I am back home.

I promise now I am back in the land of wifi I will keep you all updated, though I can sense (still) that this baby is going to drag out these last moments in my tum. I can't wait to meet him, but would like a time machine to fast forward labour.... watching obem is not helping this incidently :)

Thank you all again for caring, I cant begin to tell you how much it has helped and how much I appreciate it x

OBEM is so addictive and i cant imagine the way your belly flips watching these women knowing your just a few days away from meeting your beautiful bundle of joy. please keep us updated and i wish you the best of luck. try going for long walks thing will help bring things on i promise!

good luck hun loads of MN hugs for you xxxx

Hello! Glad you were off getting some tlc from your mum .
How you are feeling is entirely normal and watching 'one born every minute' is not going to help !!!

Keep us posted, am excited for you, it's such a special time.

Looking forward to hearing that moments of terror (we all get 'em!) have been replaced by snuffly newborn cuddles. Good luck and wishing you a wonderful birth!

Ah bugger I just wrote a big reply then deleted it by accident!

Thank you all for the luck and good thoughts - its exciting and scary all at once! Just as an aside, how long is it likely to be after mucus plug has gone? Midwife was very vague! I have images of me still waiting in a fortnight (..... I suspect my posts will be more sweary at that point.....)

My mum has been a total blessing these past few days, dare I say it but prob a million times better than any man would have been, so Im feeling very lucky on that score. Its strange being back in my own house but lovely at the same time. Its very quiet!

it could take a while hun. a mucus plug (or show) as they say is not always a aure sign labour is around the corner but for some it is. i had my show at 38 weeks with dd and was a week overdue. just walk walk walk you maybe be a lucky one!

arse.... here is hoping I don't go over. Im not sure any of you, let alone me, could cope with the emotional rollercoaster for that long!