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Original poster

Ok im having a third girl ..............

20 replies

Sarahmarie2505 · 09/03/2012 11:17

Jus had 20 week scan . Its another girl which i saw clear as day. Is it ok to feel dissapointed was convinced it was a boy : ( i feel bad feeling down but we cant afford 4 children so wont be trying again . Just wish i could have given my hubby a son.

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MuslinSuit · 09/03/2012 11:20

Have you spoken with your DH about your feelings? It's totally natural and fine to feel disappointed, rant away on here - you know you will love your new little girl. Gender doesn't matter all that much, she is a person foremost and will have a whole new set of skills and personality for you to enjoy. I bet your DH is having similar feelings, and you can talk to him about it, but please dispel any idea of 'giving your husband a boy' - that's just silly and I'm sure your DH would be totally confused if you said that to him! Smile

SoozyWoozy · 09/03/2012 11:23

I have got 3 girls, and I was also worried about not giving my husband a son. But he adores his girls and genuinely isn't worried about having a boy. I am pregnant with number 4, and I've asked him if he does want a boy this time... and nope, still not bothered :)

Like muslin said, you are having another little person with her own personality and I'm sure she'll bring you much joy.

nickelhasababy · 09/03/2012 11:27

it is okay to be disappointed.

I'm pretty sure your dh won't give a fig whether he has a son.
I'm pretty sure that he'll be pleased as punch that he'll have three beautiful, smart, fantastic daughters. :)

I'm one of 3 girls and my dad wouldn't have it any other way.
his only negative comment was "once a month i just made sure i kept out of the way" Grin

congratulations. :)

Dalrymps · 09/03/2012 11:28

Give yourself a bit of time. It's natural to kind of grieve what could have been. I said when we went for the scan for number 3 I didn't mind what we had. I suppose secretly part of me was wondering if it could have been a girl (we have 2 boys). It was another boy, I felt a strange mixture of happiness (because I love my boys and would of course love another boy) and slight sadness that I'd never have a girl. I kind of went through all the things I wouldn't get to experience, not having a girl in my head but after a week or two felt more at peace with it. Really, there's not a lot of difference between girls and boys and of course they all have different personalities. Chances are my 'vision' of having a girl would be nothing like the reality anywaySmile

I am now really looking forward to meeting my boy and anytime I feel the urge to buy girly clothes I have my nieces for that!Grin

HeidiHole · 09/03/2012 11:31

You can dispel any feelings about "giving your husband a son" as gender is 100% determined by the man. So your husband's sperm is what determined if the baby is a boy or a girl so if anything he hasn't given YOU a son.

But that is obviously not what its about, not relevant and certainly not anyones "fault"

It is perfectly natural to feel some gender disappointment and if you discuss it openly with your DH I'm sure that would help. You know in your heart you will love this gorgeous little girl the same as the other two daughters you have. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your baby.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 09/03/2012 11:31

Hi SarahMarie, given that the sperm makes the decision about the sex of the baby, there's no 'blame' on you at all. You don't get to make that call. I'm sure that you and your husband will be thrilled with your new baby either way.

Flisspaps · 09/03/2012 11:32

Congratulations :)

(I would be equally congratulatory if you were on your third boy and 'hoping' for a girl btw)

And as for 'giving your husband a son', the sex of your child is determined by the chromosomes carried in the sperm, so it's nothing to do with the mother!

All of your eggs carry the X chromosome.

Some sperm carry an X chromosome. Some sperm carry a Y chromosome.

X+X = girl
X=Y = boy

So your husband has in fact blessed you with three lovely girls, not the other way round :)

AThingInYourLife · 09/03/2012 11:34

I'm pregnant with number 3 and have 2 girls.

I didn't find out the gender, but think I would have been a bit disappointed at another girl, even though I simultaneously think having 3 girls would be cool Confused

I know what you mean about a son for your DH, but do you think he feels that way?

I don't think my DH feels the lack of a son at all, that's something that comes from me (and DD1).

The other day I saw a collection of photos of 3 sisters and it was just gorgeous - so heartwarming :)

I think the reason I don't want to know is not because I don't want 3 girls, it's the "I'll never have a son" factor.

I don't know if we'll have any more either, so the possible finality of never having a boy seems momentous, even though I don't really care whether this baby is a boy or a girl.

Northernlurker · 09/03/2012 11:38

Congratulations of your pregnancy. A lot of women feel a sense of disappointment and therefore guilt because of this issue. Imo it's fine and understandable to feel that BUT don't wallow in it. You've got to move forward and look at meeting your beautiful daughter.

Original poster
Sarahmarie2505 · 09/03/2012 11:40

lol thanks guys ! i know i will love her to death it was a lovely scan and i was on my own so the sonographer made it really enjoybale. She was bouncing around all over the place ! I jus thought it would be nice to have some blue around the house ! i have told DH and he said he is fine with it and whatever comes he will be happy with but i know he would love a son. He is 1 of 14! he was first boy born to his parents and he was number 7 so girls deff dominate ! And i am not going to number 7 no way lol. My eldest was hoping for a brother too woopsie . At least i can get them in the girly mood and we can go buy some pink : )

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 09/03/2012 12:01

"My eldest was hoping for a brother too woopsie ."

Mine too :o

DH will be fine either way, DD1 on the other hand... she's a girl of strongly held opinions :o

Northernlurker · 09/03/2012 13:15

Three girls is brilliant Smile

nickelhasababy · 09/03/2012 13:22

"I jus thought it would be nice to have some blue around the house !"

Grin ah, so give her lots of blue then Grin
Original poster
Sarahmarie2505 · 09/03/2012 13:35

lol think i buy some girlie man united stuff lol for DH

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 09/03/2012 13:46

Now that is mean. Being subjected to that football team.

Original poster
Sarahmarie2505 · 09/03/2012 13:57

lol i know poor thing !mayb not then ha ha

OP posts:
Clockingout · 09/03/2012 14:01

I'm having a third girl too! My DH did really want a boy though, he was and is quite open about it, in fact he went 'oh god' at the scan... he says he doesn't mind one bit though now, but he's still funny about other people having boys! I will not be having anymore either.

Also, sorry, but I do not agree that its 100% down to the man's sperm. The egg has to accept one sperm over another and the uterus may be more favourable for one sex, so I just don't think it is all down to chance. I actually don't think I would concieve a boy, there are just too many girls in my family, both paternal and maternal sides.

ColourMePurple · 09/03/2012 17:03

ditto - I'm having a third girl too (21 weeks pregnant). Obviously I was hoping and happy to be told that baby was healthy, but I was still upset and a little more than angry at DP. It's been a week or so since I've found out and after the initial upset, I can't wait to meet her! I am so excited to be having a family of three girls.

TerrorNova · 09/03/2012 17:07

Three girls is brilliant. Study says siblings of the same gender get along better, and are more likely to be close when they grow up. It makes sense isn't it? That most females have more female friends?

justhayley · 09/03/2012 22:07

Me & my DP were both disappointed when we found out we were having a boy Blush and it's our first BlushBlushBlush. Now at 33 weeks I hate that I felt like that and can't imagine now not getting ready for my baby boy. My friend has recently had her 3rd girl and felt the same as you and was worried about her husband. Although he kept telling her he didn't at all mind she didn't really believe it. When you see this dad with his girls you can tell he couldn't love them anymore and he doesn't even think about not having a boy, im sure ur husband will be the same x

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