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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

why can't they leave me alone........

34 replies

offended · 30/01/2006 23:05

Hi I am 29 weeks pg and am 41. This was unplanned and has took some getting used to, but i would have found it too hard to terminate the pg. I am not in the greatest of relationships and already have grown up kids.

However i have accepted my situation and am coming to terms with it. Every time i start to get a bit excited someone always seems to spoil it for me.

Why are people so cruel and quick to judge. I constantly get comments like

You must be mad at your age

It will be like an only child

Fancy going backwards after all this time

and even

If it were me i would have to kill myself

as if it isnt hard enough, why dont they just leave me alone
fwiw my kids love it!

OP posts:
littlemisspiggy · 01/02/2006 14:52

Offended - some people are just too stupid for words!. I had my first at 37 and am 24 wks pg with second at 41. I didn't feel 'ready' before my mid-thirties anyway but it's nobody else's business. Some silly cow at work the other day (in the lift) asked me how old I was. I told her (too taken aback by the question to reply anything else) then she said " oh you must have had loads of tests then"

Aloha · 01/02/2006 15:28

Oddly enough I had dd at 41 (and ds at 38) and I haven't had one single even vaguely off comment about my age. Even the midwife who took my details koked, when I said dd would be my last child, 'Oh, they all say that - I'll see you for number three!'
And I was not pushed into having more tests or anything.

Original poster
offended · 04/02/2006 12:59

i can't believe what someone said to me yesterday. Someone i havnt seen for ages, actually said to me they had heard i was pregnant and she joked that if it was her she would have been straight down the clinic to get it sorted. Then she said why coulndt i have waited for grandchildren.....her dd has just had a ds.... i was too stunned to even reply...still socked can't believe how thoughtless people are...wish i had said something now. why do people think they own you

OP posts:
kreamkrackers · 05/02/2006 17:24

OMG! i can't believe you're still having these comments. i don't usually say anything back whenever people are being like that but i wish i could say something (usually have comments when getting dd weighed in baby clinic as she has a scar going down her chest from cardiac surgery and a peg in to feed her and i'm 21). it's you're life, feck what ever anybody else has to say. they're just nasty people.

edam · 05/02/2006 18:00

Offended, look them straight in the eye and in a very calm, serious tone say: 'Have you realised what an incredibly rude thing that is to say?'

They will blush and mutter apologies.

There's 14 years between me and my littlest sister and we adore each other. You'll be fine.

CarlyP · 06/02/2006 10:36

some ppl are so inconsiderate. im dreading telling my mum im haveing no.3 and im a grown woman with a job, house, husband, 2 other children and we are lal happy bout it......

good luck and look forward to your new arrival.

cx

PotPourri · 06/02/2006 12:18

Just remind yourself how none of it will be new to you, so in your mind tell them to sod off. Good on you, and so glad your other kids love the idea. See, it won't be like an only child at all - just a very lucky one with so much more experience it can tap into.

Arabica · 06/02/2006 13:08

Offended, am so angry on your behalf! How dare people be so negative and so judgmental. Are we all supposed to have finished our reproductive lives by the time we're 30, having had 2 children with the same partner and no more than a 2.5yr age-gap, or risk dire consequences for mother and child?
Am 44 and pregnant, by choice, with my second baby (DS was born when I was 39 and finally felt ready to have kids). Not one person, medically qualified or otherwise, has said anything at all negative and even my hospital isn't treating me as a VIP. My age was just one factor, along with things like history of diabetes/high blood pressure in deciding whether I should be treated as a high risk--and the result was, I'm not in the high risk category. I did have to have a scan in the fetal medicine clinic, but I wasn't pushed into having any extra tests, and the consultant even said, 'they just make up those risk figures in an office somewhere, don't worry about it!'
I'd consider moving away somewhere where your kids won't have to live amongst such narrow-minded opinions.

trice · 06/02/2006 13:32

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Babies are lovely whatever age you are 41 is not that old and you are very lucky.

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