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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

20 week scan tomorrow... Find out gender or not..?!

51 replies

therewasalittlegirl · 06/03/2012 18:05

That's it really! We didn't with DS. But this time I am rather tempted, and DH will go with my decision. But I don't want to regret finding out! Who found out and who didn't? And do you feel you made the right decision? I'm really undecided!! ??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

grubbalo · 06/03/2012 20:44

Sorry to complicate it even further.... but I know about 10 couples who found out, but said it was their secret.... and each time they have given it away or had a nightmare from people trying to catch them out!

I reckon you'd have to tell everyone else that you hadn't found out - then any little slips can be blamed on 'inklings"!!

workshy · 06/03/2012 20:47

DD1 we didn't know as we lived in an area that had a policy not to tell you

we did find out with DD2 and I regretted it -it reduced the excitment levels in the last few weeks, it didn't help prepare DD1 for the new arrival and as all the midwives with DD1 told me -you push harder if it's a surprise

PrincessWatermelon · 06/03/2012 21:23

I am so glad we've found out. I love referring to our daughter, and my little girl. I hated having to call her an 'it'. I chat to her and I think it has really helped my DH visualise things better. It is our first, and since he can't feel her like me, it's lovely for him to bond with her better.

Also, for some reason we thought she'd be a boy, as did the whole family. I was pleased to be able to adjust early.

lisbethsopposite · 06/03/2012 21:33

We did with DS1 and in spite of myself I would refer to baby occasionally as him. Then I would say her or it as well but I had given the game away.
I am now 9.5 weeks and am thinking of not finding out this time.

chipsandpeas · 06/03/2012 21:38

i would love to say i wouldnt want to know, however when i do get the chance i know i prob would want to know and would find out even if it meant doing a private scan but hey who knows, not yet in that position
im no good when it comes to waiting on surprises

HardCheese · 06/03/2012 21:47

We found out and didn't tell anyone - and we told people we knew but weren't saying (not because our baby's sex was the Secret of the Universe but because we were already tired of the little footballer/little princess dopey comments). I doubt anyone was particularly bothered - people are just making conversation, really.

puzzletree · 07/03/2012 08:08

We didn't find out with our first two, but have found out with this pregnancy. Honestly I think I will miss the excitement of that moment of finding out at birth which was pretty magical. But we sort of had a reason for finding out this time. Our DS2 was convinced that this is a boy (and he was right!) and we didn't want him to be disappointed/upset if we had a girl. If we'd had no reason to find out we would have kept it a surprise again. We have told everyone that we're having a third boy, mostly to avoid all the annoying 'are you hoping for a girl this time?' comments that we'd get otherwise!

Happenstance · 07/03/2012 08:16

I found out with DD it seemed sencible at the time and i'm glad i did, but this time i really didn't see the point so i didn't i'll find out in 3 weeks hopefully anyway

MrsLister · 07/03/2012 08:17

I'm so keen to find out I'm booked in for a gender scan at Babybond a week on Friday!

I can't wait to find out if I'm having a son or a daughter. I'm too much of a planner!

AnEcumenicalMatter · 07/03/2012 08:29

The hospital I am booked in at has a policy of not disclosing the sex at scans and thanks to crossed legs, it wasn't obvious from my 20 week scan, so I don't know whether this baby (DC1) is a boy or a girl. To be honest, I'm glad the decision has been taken out of our hands. I'm not a fan of pink/blue so I'm not finding shopping a problem...I've just bought some bright colored gender neutral babygros ad vests to get us started and then I'll go shopping once baby is here.

SarryB · 07/03/2012 10:40

I really really wanted to know - but my local hospital doesn't look for the gender, and you are politely asked not to ask the staff to look.

I can't afford another scan, I would love to find out - but I've still got 8 weeks to go!

Weezie85 · 07/03/2012 10:49

AnEcumenicalMatter where have you found bright babygro's? Everything is either pink or blue around us, or the gender netural white or cream.
I just keep thinking oh that looks too much like for a girl or a boy.
Well only 11 weeks till I find out hopefully.

AnEcumenicalMatter · 07/03/2012 10:58

Weezie, I have bought these and these from Next.

I also picked up a few bits from Boots baby range (Mini Mode?) but I can't find them online. And some stuff in the sale on www.noaddedsugar.com but their full price stuff is eye-wateringly expensive!

RealLifeIsForWimps · 07/03/2012 11:04

I've got mine tomorrow. Not finding out (although I did with DS). No real reason. Just want to try it "the other way". That said, I am going to have to be very firm with myself.

ViolaCrayola · 07/03/2012 11:07

An Ecumenical Matter- I love those sleep suits - especially the first ones. I didn't find out with DS and also bought nice gender neutral (mostly not white) things - mostly from Next actually.

I carried on dressing DS gender neutrally for quite a while actually, but that's probably a whole other thread!

Flickstar · 07/03/2012 11:30

You might have you choice taken away from you... My DH and I had decided not to find out. Although I was tempted I really wanted the suprise moment at the end of the labour. However, I had a suprise scan at 17 weeks with my consultant and the first thing I saw on the screen was a willy waving about- It was so obvious what the baby was! Although I didn't want to find out I'm so glad I now know and I couldn't imagine not knowing what I'm having anymore- does that make sense? I also feel lucky that the decision was taken out of my hands. Bit of a cop out really!

RealLifeIsForWimps · 07/03/2012 11:55

That's always a possibility. Mind you, with DS I told her I wanted to know and she said "Well, that's good because it's pretty obvious". I looked at the screen and still couldn't see it until she said "well that's one leg and that's the other" and he had a pretty obvious willy. She must have thought I was blind.

DizzyKipper · 07/03/2012 16:05

I missed my chance to find out and do sometimes regret not having done so. OH was dead against knowing and wouldn't trust that I could keep it a secret so it was very much his decision not to know. I regret it more now from the practical side of things - I do wish when I was in the shops looking at baby things that I could just buy a thing or 2 for the baby without having to limit myself to what seems to me the very dull neutral range. I also find it frustrating when people going on about "spoiling the surprise" if you're to find out - I'm sure having my first child will be an amazing experience enough, knowing the sex beforehand isn't somehow going to taint this.

rainbow77 · 07/03/2012 18:00

I found out im having a girl. No regrets finding out. But only you know what feels right for you. Good luck. Please come back and let us know....

PoppyS34wantsgoatscheese · 08/03/2012 14:18

I hope your scan went well therewasalittlegirl :)

Original poster

therewasalittlegirl · 09/03/2012 23:36

Thank you all so much!

Scan was amazing! It's another little boy!!! :)

OP posts:

RealLifeIsForWimps · 09/03/2012 23:50

Congrats!

I didn't find out in the end but due to the absence of any obvious dangly bits, I'm pretty sure that it's a girl (which was my suspicion).

madaboutmadmen · 10/03/2012 07:34

Congrats! Boys are great! I have one boy and I'm 10 weeks with my 2nd. part of me really hoping it's a boy although I feel like I should be hoping for a girl. I can't be doing with pink though !

puzzletree · 10/03/2012 07:48

Yay, congrats on a another boy! I've got 2 (and another on the way), they're best buddies and so much fun :)

milk · 10/03/2012 08:16

Hell yeah!!! I found out with DS and it was lovely being able to prepare :)

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