How did u cope with the changes??

[munz]

Just a general rant/moan but how did u cope with the changes for mother hood?

i'm currently 35+1 now and feeling v fat! I struggle to put my socks on. althou yesterday I managed to do all the scrubbing in the house (every spec of dirt is annoying me right now) and it still looks dirty to me. but from 12noon until 9.30 pm when I sat my bum down I had no help from DH and the one thing I did ask him to do - tidy/clean the kitchen after I cooked the roast he thought ment leave the carcus on the side and pile the plates infront of the dishwasher. anyhow, I then collapsed and started crying - I know i'm v hormonal as well after a w/e of bitin his head off and being ratty!

anyhow I'm not able to ask for help easily, i'm v v independant. I hate the fact in 2 weeks i'll stop working and be dependant on my DH. it's the first time i've not worked out side the home in 7 years! the first time I won't have my own money. I know thta's my issues but i'm struggaling with the thought of it. althou i'm v much looking forward to jnr coming.

but how do u cope? I want to clean/tidy my head lets me do it and I can then I realise i've done too much am exhausted and cry. am I normal?? should I try to slow down now and ask for more help from DH - althou his answer is leave it i'm still working f/t which isn't helpin but to stay in the house when I want to be active will be worse.

why can't my brain register it needs to slow down???

I think this is a hard stage. Your body is becoming increasingly difficult to be in, you are still working but, yikes, the birth of a baby is looming. You are clearly nesting as well which makes getting a rest a bit difficult.

The only thing you can do is go with how you feel, talk to your dh and friend (esp preg and those with babies!) Ask him for help rather than doing it and then resenting doing it (I do that btw!), and take any other help on offer. Do try and get some rest and indulge yourself a bit. I spent a lot of my 3rd trimester in the bath, reading about baby care etc, reading books etc.

Nature is a wonderful thing. You will be ready when the time comes and you will know what to do next. You are about to become a mother. Changes don't come any bigger. It's ok if it all feels a bit much sometimes but it will be ok. Best of luck and look forward to reading your birth announcement!!

Munz sounds like we've had the same kind of weekend! I have completely overdone it this weekend and feel like my pelvis is broken for good! It's really hard as you say to come to terms with the fact that we have to slow down (I'm 35+2!) I had a chat with dh because he seems even worse at rememebering that I need a bit of help this pregnancy than the last and it has definitely helped. I explained that I hate asking and it's even worse when I finally do ask and he tells me not to worry and to just leave it. The most important thing now is to take it easy, like you in my first pg I was still working full time plus had bought a new house that needed complete refurbishment. I am so sorry when I look back now that I didn't just take things a bit easier, it is true when they say you wont get the chance to ever again!

I worked til 2 weeks before (turned out to be 3 weeks) and those three weeks were the hardest because I was so incapacitated and bored. Like you I went from being sane and independent to suddenly loosing the plot and sobbing hysterically over the shopping one day. It's hormones and you can't help it.

As for the birth and loosing your independence - by the time your baby is due you will be so excited about the birth because you'll be desperate to get it out. Fear of the birth seems to subside. You'll be so busy and sleep deprived after the birth that you won't have the mental capacity to worry about anything but the basics for a while anyway.

It'll all be fine. Maybe try to think about all the lazy things you wanted to do a long time ago...catching up on movies for example and then make a plan for each day so you have some kind of plan.

u guys, u'll start me crying at my desk again!

I did tell DH last night I needed more help so I think he'll try more. only 2 weeks left in work, so roll on next friday!

why is it thou every spec of dirt is annoying me where as normally I wouldn't care, not to mention I scrubbed yesterday with bleach/water and the carpets , washed the walls etc and they still look/feel dirty - is that a bit extreme?? (i've never been a cleanliness freek b4! lol)

and is it me or is ur mind constantly active thinking about the various jobs still to do???

anchovies - u girl should be relaxing more with the spd! lol - I will relax if u do!

You are nesting! It's a strange thing. I am not usually the cleaning sort but boy, did I go to town! Arranged about 200 word magnets into alphabetical order on my fridge!

I think it will be easier when you have finished work. At the moment you have a foot in both camps - you are very pregnant but still in your old life. Would agree to plan stuff for the days before baby is due though. Ds was over 2 weeks late and I was going spare by the end!!!

I finished for maternity a few weeks ago. I literally blitzed the whole house in the first 2 weeks - it is cleaner than it EVER has been and yes, I did far too much, became far too exhausted, got shouted at by DH (even though he would also have moaned if I hadn't been cleaning!) and struggled to do the simplest of chores. I now feel SO much better and more ready for this baby now though but I was so frustrated whilst still at work just reeling through all the things I knew needed doing and that I would never have time to do them.

LOL at the fridge magnet earranging - I actually thought it was a total necessity to put the CDs in alphabetical order the other day! Nesting is a very strange feeling and I guess Dhs must find it difficult to accept that we get so pedantic over the most needless things!

lol@ the magnets and CD's I do that anyways! well CD's! lol. I don't think DH can understand my need to be washing the walls/doors down esp with a diluted bleach - soapy water just doens't feel clean to me and even thou it's all scrubbed I can still see small scum marks on the bath and go mad at him for messing it up - something he's findin hard as tbh as long as it's tidy normally I don't fuss too much!

just hoping once i'm off and can properly blitz i'll be relaxed more- and what's this thing as well, (more nesting I guess) i've washed the baby clothes and until this w/e I haven't had the urge to iron them - prefering to just fold them up - but now I have the urge to iron everything all the little tshirts etc??

You will feel 'more prepared' but I bet you still get peed off when DH undoes all your hard work - even if it is just opening the fridge when his hands are dirty!

The only time I ever ironed ds's baby clothes was before he was born!

DH keeps his CDs in alphabetical order anyway but that's another story....!

lol, least I know i'm normal now! lol.

last night thou everyhting was wrong - I was sat on the bed crying due to being over worked! undervalued! knackered, upset I didn't do the ironing, then see DH hadn't loaded the dishwasher, and then to cap it off I couldn't find my silky nighty to put in my hospital bag DH said he'd look tonight (I did find it) but how's he ment to find it when I don't remember where I put it! lol. needless to say when he said do u want a cup of tea a hug/stop cryin I cried even more - he's not v good with the crying lark, althou that seems to be the only way he know's something's seriously wrong cos I don't do it often.

LOL at magnets - if I had some sure I would be doing the same!! Though I did the CDs!

Glad you have talked to dh I just don't think they realise, I am 36 in second pregnacy and even with a 15 month old my dh doesn't help with housework as much as I would like, though he is brilliant with dd so I guess that makes up for it - but I reckon they just see us as the same as always except now with bumps and as in my case a hell of a lot more to hold on to - I don't reckon they realise or even can comprehend what we are going through!

But though I felt like I was repeating myself alot (OK nagging ) I did try and talk it out - plus I put down some ground rules with dd so he would get involved as much as he could and give me a break to colapse into a heap somewhere!

that is 36 weeks in not 36 years old - not yet anyway though often feel like it

well at 6 months he went thru a spat of doing everything and I was only ment as an incubator for the baby which annoyed me as i'm not laid up on the sofa/incapable of doing stuff! lol - now I want him to do stuff he's not - why can't ment just think like women?? lol.

feeling lots better today thou thanks for all ur advice yesterday. 9 more days to go! lol - I keep looking forward to friday when I stop driving then next friday stopping work and I plan on 1 week of lay ins till at least 10am!