Positive test this morning.... NOT great news! Need friends please...

[shanelle5]

Well where do I start. First off, thanks for reading and apologies in advance for waffling!
I had a positive test this morning and its all wrong for the following reasons:
First off Im 40 with 4 kids already, the eldest are 18 and 16 so massive age gaps!
Im divorced from DH, father to the 4 children aforementioned, pregnancy is with BF of 2 years who has 3 kids and a divorce too... So this will be baby no 8 for us and he does NOT want anymore so is going to be mightily peed off me thinks..
BF is unwell and under a lot of stress ATM we also have financial problems due to him being signed off sick. This is most definately now what we need.
DD no2 - aged 16 has been suffering from depression. She has just been referred to our local MHT for medication and counselling as she has been self harming which has given me a great deal of worry, guilt and upset so our family is all over the place and this is going to be a most unwelcome bombshell when I finally pluck up the courage to tell BF let alone the kids and my parents who will be HORRIFIED! lol
Despite this I do feel excited and happy about the idea personaly, just so worried about everyone elses reactions as the really will all be negative.
I used to visit this site so thought id pop on and see if I could find any moral support before telling the man and to get my head round it all too. I am SOOOO tired, I think I knew, deathly knackered and feel like im wading through treacle so its kinda hard to cover up really. Thanks in advance x

was you using contraception if not then you should not be surprised if so well I believe everything happens for a reason and never mind what other people say you have to make decisions for yourselves

Don't worry about it. Sit down, write out all the pros and cons of continuing with the pregnancy.

When you are feeling a bit clearer, grit your teeth and tell your BF, preferably at a time when he has the option to have a few hours to himself to think things over/talk to you. Are the kids ever all out of the house at once?

Not knowing how long your BF is likely to be signed off for, think about your likely finanicial situation in 6 months time. Is he likely to be back at work?

imnotmymum- yes and no t the contraception. I am/was on cezarette but missed taking a couple this month the 2 days after my DD came in my room in the middle of the night to say she was struggling and it all came out. I had no idea she had been sad/upset let alone harming herself she had presented as happy if a little stroppy- normal teenager really so it was such a bombshell and I was so upset my mind was not focussed on anything other than what on earth to do so I was a little slapdash in taking my pill for a few days. Unfortunately or fortunately whichever way you want to look at it, this was Valentines week and Id been having some lovely romantic times with the Man!

Mrshoarder- thankyou for your kind post and advice, I will make a list as I am a list type of person anyway and always find that helps. Incase I was giving any other impression in my first post, I would not consider any other option than having the baby whatever the circumstance and how "inconvenient" a pregnancy may be as I am a christian and believe as imnotmymum said these things happen for a reason and this little one is meant to be.
Yes we do luckily get some time alone, good thinking on not just blurting it out and waiting for a time when we can talk properly undisturbed. The Girls are with their Dad this weekend so ideal time I guess gulp!
Unsure about finances but what will be will be and we will manage. Money doesnt make everything perfect I know and it may be tight but well manage because we have to. I will go and look up some other threads on parenting on a budget! Thankyou for the replys x

Sorry if I caused any offence in that case.

Oh no its fine, you absolutely didnt and I appreciated your reply. Just thought I may not have made myself clear in my first post and to save any further confusion I wanted to set it straight. x

Hello.

In regards to your DD. I used to self harm, and I found that for me it was a way of releasing what had built up inside of me. I wanted my parents to treat me like an adult when they found out about it, and to include me in discussions etc. So I think that telling your DD will be fine. The baby might even give her something to focus on to get herself better for.

Money worries are hard, at the moment I'm on minimum wage 20 hours a week, and my DH is no way near earning enough to support us both. (I'm 27 weeks pregnant). I know that we'll manage though :) Sit down and work out how much money you'll have worst case scenario, and then figure out if you can cut back on anything. You could even try making a bit of money from home by ironing or baking cakes etc

HTH x

hippieshake, thankyou SO much for posting and especially talking about your experience of self harm, REALLY appreciate your post and will take your comments on board xx

Do you know after reading this baby has definitly come for a reason might really be lovely if has special bond with Daughter

You're very welcome, and if you need anyone to talk to about it all then feel free to get in touch with me :)

Having come out of the other side of it now I look back and realise how hard it must've been for my family to see me that way. She'll be fine though, and I definately think it would be nice for her to be quite involved with the baby.

You sound like a wonderful Mum already, so I'm sure you'll be fantastic with this one too. Congratulations x