Feeling self conscious about my changing body, and I just keep bloody crying. Also want to kick DP in the nuts.

[McPhee]

I know I'm not the only pregnant women to ever feel .like this, I mean our bodies are going through some big changes. But at the moment, I'm struggling a bit Yesterday I was in tears about it, and tonight I mentioned to my partner that the blue veins on my boobs were getting me down. Even though I know its perfectly normal, and I'm guessing its part of them getting ready for feeding. And he sodding laughed at me. He's bloody lucky he's 400 miles away at the moment or I'd have his nuts on a chopping block. According to him, he was laughing at the way I said it, but I instantly burst in to tears. Now I feel a bit stupid and shite about crying down the phone to him, but he shouldn't have laughed should he. Christ I'm waffling now, and not even really sure why I'm typing this out. Bastard.

Please don't worry - (and maybe put away the chopping board, ay?) - it's totally normal to feel all sorts of conflicting emotions during pregnancy... You are completely normal. Can I ask, are you normally quite aware of how you look? And maybe you're worried about how you'll look afterwards [noseying around here for an insight into how you're feeling....] If you are, can I reassure you that you can still look great afterwards (OK, maybe not right afterwards.....) and actually you might surprise yourself - your body might be pretty darn near to how it was beforehand (not boasting.... just saying... I've had 2DC and preg with 3rd; I have no stretch marks, was back to the weight on my driver's license before I got preg now, and apart from a slightly stretched tummy button, look, um, exactly the same...... OK, maybe a bit older!)

your are totally normal, full of hormones and yanbu to want to kick your partner anywhere at all on his person. at the weekend myself and dp were going out, i had my whole wardrobe out trying to find something that didnt make me look fat, i finally found a shirt and cardi combo thing, ironed it and put it on, then in walks dp saying i love how you can now see the little bump..... queue me crying and screaming at him for calling me fat and throwing a strop saying i was now staying in! well i am 6 months pregnant so i suppose i had to show sometime but its that horrible feeling where you know whats going on but then you suddenly notice something about your body that wasnt there before and it freaks you out.

that was the last time dp will ever laugh at any hormonal strop i have

I knew I was pregnant with this baby and DS because I had a massive urge to kill DH :P DH says I was probably a black widow spider in a previous life.

Last pregnancy with DS I also had moments when I cried about my body- but it does go back in the end!

Oh vix, someone who is 6 months pregnant with a visible bump does not look fat, she looks pregnant. I'm sure you and baby look gorgeous.

On the other hand... I started fat, so I don't really expect baby to have a slimming effect on me. I lost 6 stone last year before getting pregnant, so now have two 'bumps', one is baby growing and the other is underneath and is loose fat/skin from being more overweight and losing weight. It's a shame really because I'm certain I'll see some people who haven't seen that I've lost the weight, and that they won't realise I'm pregnant because they are used to me looking 'big'.

Got another 6 stone to lose to get into my healthy BMI range, but that's going to have to wait till baby is born and I've recovered from the birth and established breastfeeding.

Although I've put on a few pounds that I lost since christmas, I'm still the lowest I got to last year (and less than my booking in weight), so I'm still fairly happy knowing that I'm weighing my bump and larger breasts as well as me. I know my weight will start creeping up more eventually (am only 18 weeks now).

It's difficult not to be self concious about our bodies changing but I'm kind of excited too as it reminds me that baby is still growing. :)

P.s. How is this for something annoying, I hoped that the excess skin from losing weight might minimise the new skin and stretch marks during pregnancy. Well it hasn't! My skin is stretching at the top of bump even though there is plenty of skin underneath! Goodness knows what I'll look like afterwards.

McPhee how far along are you? In the first trimester I bloated straight away and it was a bit of a shock about how big I looked after a few weeks (I'd been a size 10 before). DH once made a comment about how something I'd put on - that I thought I looked nice in - wasn't 'his favourite dress any more' and he basically suggested I change. I sobbed for about an hour and forced him to pick out something else for me to wear, all of which he found totally mortifying and never said anything like that again...

I'm now 36 weeks, 12.5 stone and looking properly like a fat preggers woman! It is a big shock to the system and I do have moments when I look at myself and feel a bit tearful, but then I tell myself it's all in the most amazing cause and I wouldn't change anything. FWIW, most friends who've had babies recently have lost the weight really quickly and look exactly the same as they did before. Viens on boobs are there to supply more blood for feeding etc., and do go down. Even stretch marks fade quickly afterwards.

You are totally normal to feel like you do, don't worry. A lot of it will be hormonal, but you also need to trust your body will be beautiful in a different way for 40 weeks, and will be just as beautiful afterwards, perhaps with some souvenirs of the amazing journey you've been on. One friend loves her little stretch marks and her husband says he finds her even more attractive now - she's more of a 'woman' in his eyes from going through child birth. I'm sure your DH feels the same once he's taken his foot out of his gob

Ive totally avoided the scales so far but I know what you mean about the veins, ive got loads it looks like blue lightening on my boobs and I know its pathetic but im gutted that my once beautifully pert boobs are sagging already!!

all I can say is I think the urge to kill or maim DH lasts throughout pregnancy but see your body for what it is, pregnancy is a beautiful time I love my bump its the first time ive ever worn tight clothes because this time its meant to be big and stuck out, Ive found that bit very liberating :)

My first pregnancy symptom with dd1 was when I thought dh had been nasty to the dog (he'd only moaned at her to move out of the doorway so he could get past) and I, erm, threw a glass of water over him (the contents that is, not the glass itself! LOL) That's a standing joke in our family now.

Hormones do have a lot to answer for. I go go from a all is okay I can so this to I can't do this.

DP is great though when I am having a bad body day he snuggles in a tells me that it is normal and that my body is amazing as it is carrying DS1 and letting him grow and develop ready for love and snuggles in 9 weeks and 3 days time ( I have even converted him to a OBEM watcher)

Remember ladies our bodies are wonderful they are growing our LO to love and cherish xxx

I think it's pretty reasonable to be freaked out, specially if you've always been fairly fit and/or your body shape hasn't changed much.

I've always been a bit overweight and because I did IVF (and was overstimulated) I had a pregnant looking stomach from day 1. Literally. Like the day of the egg collection I swelled like a balloon. So now I'm 6m and it's a proper bump (and my diet's been way healthier than when I wasn't pg, not least because there is no more Friday night 3/4 of a bottle of red wine plus inhaling a bag of Kettle Chips) I look in the mirror and I'm like hey, looking good.

But... I am so sick of getting stared at. In the shops. On the train. Even at work! I went in the train this morning and a man actually looked me up and down and shook his head. I don't know what that was about - presumably I'm now too pregnant to be at work, in his expert opinion - but it's only going to get worse. I've got 6 weeks left at work, the weather's getting warmer, I can't wear my enormo maternity coat much longer. I could go and get some bump-disguising clothes I suppose but really, I don't want to waste the money and why should I hide it to save the blushes of some fool in a suit on the Cannon Street train?

Aww ladies, I really sympathise as I'd been feeling like a whale recently - I'm 23 weeks and have suddenly grown a humungous beachball sized bump that people have taken to staring at too. I've always been concious of my weight having been a chubber in the past and successfully kept it off for over 5 years; despite losing half a stone from morning sickness I know I've gained weight that I didn't have before. HOWEVER...yesterday I decided I'm not going to feel shit and out of control about my increasingly strange shape anymore and took a good look at myself in the mirror. Ladies, we all look amazing! It sounds a bit trite but seriously, we are all making a little life inside us and it's incredible. McPhee please don't feel bad about your body, I'm willing to bet you look beautiful. I've got the veiny boob thing too plus they've grown to such a size that it's apparently open season on them too - since when is it ok to sit around discussing my breasts?! I'm lucky that my OH is really understanding - there's been tears and tantrums, things thrown, the works! - but I do feel a bit sorry for men, there's no way they can understand what we're going through so they're bound to put their foot in it sometimes. I'm sure your OH didn't mean to upset you, he just evidently wasn't thinking! Silly boy

McPhee I could have written your original post myself!!! I have had major struggles coming to terms with my changing body and my poor other halfs comments which are meant to make me feel better but dont!!
I am almost 33 weeks pregnant and not only have the stilton boobs but I got aereolas the size of saucers which have developed out of nowhere !!!! Whats that all about !!! Couldnt feel more unattractive and other half keeps saying 'oh but it will all be worth it in the end' and 'You wont be this fat for much longer' lol I suppose he is right but he is as subtle as a sledgehammer bless him.
Rest assured this hormone fuelled rollercoaster ride does end and we have to marvel at the amazing process our bodies are capable of. I find humour the best remedy xx

hotpink I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow.

I'm actually feeling a bit better today, silly hormones

I had a chat with my DP, and to be fair, he'd not really realised how crap I've been feeling. We've both had such a lot going on that communication has become a bit laps. Also I hate bothering him with every little thing, which I've now been told by him is the wrong way to think. Bless him, his words were "We're very much in this together, I may not be able to be there as much as I want to at the moment but that doesn't mean this isn't a partnership, so I need you to talk to me"

Willowshimmer I'm loving 'stilton boobs'

Are pregnant women allowed Stilton can I ask why only one of mine leaks all night and the other nothing unless it is too hot.

xxx

bastard.

problem with men, is that they don't experience the same hormones, so they don't realise how hard it feels.

I quite like my big blue veins - makes me feel like one of those characters in a horror film

virtual for you.