No nursery?

[bettybat]

This is a slightly pointless thread because in reality, I'm not too concerned. But I'm also kind of bored at work, and finding ever increasingly baby-related obsessive things to think about.

SO DH and I live in a rented flat, two small bedrooms. We're not allowed to decorate. We turned one room into a studio for DH/office for me as I work from home at least twice a week. Its dawning on me a little that we have a spare room - shouldn't we turn it into a nursery?

In doing so raises a lot of logistical problems of where the piano would go and where I'd work (when I go back to work - I'm planning on asking for home working full time). I'm supposed to have a proper work area set up.

But I also can't help but feel like we're not being accommodating of the baby when it arrives. I keep arguing with myself - on the one hand I think it's likely the baby will be in with us for the first year anyway. On the other hand, I sort of feel like we're not making provisions. Or is it the nesting instinct kicking in? Is a nursery required the first year?

I think DH is a little non plussed about the whole thing....he's only thinking in monthly advances at the moment, can't seem to handle more than that :P He's against making a nursery. I'm very confused. DH has suggested moving our wardrobes out of our room and moving baby furniture in. I'm just really confused.

You don't need a nursery at all, but a baby will mean a certain ammount of 'stuff' that will need a home, so you are going to have to some a degree of rearranging.

I am expecting DC4 soon and this will be the first one to have any kind of pre-prepared nursery but only because DC3 and 4 will be sharing and we have had a room swap so it makes sense to decorate now.

Aww xx

It's recommended that you have the baby in your room for the first 6 months and you think that it will share with you for the first year anyway. I don't think you need a nursery (especially when you have another use for the room!)

You maybe just need to feel that you have a place for baby? Once you have a sleeping area set up in your room and a place to put baby 'stuff' (wherever that is - your room, spare room, living room etc) you might feel better?

We live in a one bedroom flat, so our baby will be sharing with us until they leave home/till we move house. I really hope we move to a bigger place.

My nursery has been ready since the week before DS was born 6 months ago and I think he's been in it twice. Once to look at it the day he came home from hospital and once because I was tidying his clothes away and he slept on the floor where I could see him.
He's supposed to be going into his cot and room this weekend but neither me or DP want to turn him into a big boy just yet!
Don't worry about it, as long as new baby has somewhere to sleep and lots of cuddles he'll be fine.
Good luck with it all!

Awww cool OK I feel better now. It's one of those planning moments where you get suckered into the "ideal" and worrying if your basic plans are completely unrealistic.

Maybe that's what DH means about moving our wardrobes out to move cot/baby things in?

Hahaha Spiritedwolf - let's hope you move somewhere bigger

A nursery is not a necessity (says the Nursery obsessed lady) all a baby needs is love and TLC.

xx

Meh, we lived in various furnished rentals until our second was about 6 months, they just got shoved into whatever space there was between beds, desks and other assorted crap. Never had anything decorated, any posters or stimulating pictures, fancy curtains etc. In fact when we moved to our current house dd ended up in the loft room surrounded by boxes! Still in the same house 2 and a half years. dcs now share and have had their room decorated but only because water leaked and it was necessary! Due with number 3 any day and have we prepared a room for him? Nope! Though we have asked a builder to give us a quote for splitting the loft room so you never know.......it is still filled with boxes and other crap though.

Babies don't care, once they hit 5 ish then they kind of value a bedroom with their stuff in (mainlky for escaping smaller siblings though).

We have moved a few things around in our room though to empty a couple of shelves for baby clothes and nappies.

Mine will have a little bit of space in the bedroom, and a couple of drawers. No nursery.

We were in a one bedroomed flat for the first two years of my DS's life. Was absolutely fine at first (though the pram made the hallway crammed). Babies don't need much space and certainly won't notice a nursery or not. As long as your baby has somewhere to sleep and somewhere to store clothes, nappies, etc you'll be fine.

Use your space as it makes sense to you and DP for now. You can always rearrange a bit after the baby is born and you know how you end up using the space you have.

Y'all have made me feel so much better

I don't want to be all PFB about everything but I also keep having Donald Rumsfield moments, with lots of unknown unknowns

I think the real answer is to de-clutter! That would make me feel better.

We have a flat with a tiny second bedroom that I use as a study, and it's going to stay that way after the baby comes, bar the addition of a chest of drawers for his little clothes and gear. He'll sleep in a bedside cot in our bedroom for ease of night feeding, or on whichever one of us is moving around least in the daytime!

The idea of the 'nursery' seems to me to come from the same consumerist school of thought that regards the birth of a baby as a Major Retail Opportunity.

Aargh! I keep having tons of people ask me if we have the nursery ready yet. It is driving me mad as like you we live in a small rented flat with 2 bedrooms but they are both really small so we have to keep all our own clothes in the spare room. We will just about fit a bedside cot in beside our bed so the baby does have a small corner and 2 drawers for it's stuff in the spare room. That's it.

I just tell people that I'm pretty sure that as long as I can keep the baby away from any home decor magazines for the first year we think it might not notice the lack of themed wallpaper and curtains

Ha ha, friends (esp. NCT folk) seemed very taken aback that we hadn't spent months decorating our only spare room in wall to wall ABC's, washing and IRONING the baby trousseau (WTF??) and generally nesting. Admittedly we were slightly caught on the hop after baby arrived early (cot was delivered during my hospital stay).
My advice, do what works for you. A mobile just out of reach is about the limit of its world for some time so screw the themed room. We booted our daughter out after 8 weeks due to intense piglet noises overnight. The room next door was hardly the East wing but at least we could turn over in bed without waking her. You might prefer to put your baby in the room furthest away from the TV though, or keep your study sacrosanct if it means you can make calls /work easily and switch into work mode.
If you haven't bought a cot, consider a travel cot instead of a Moses basket and a cot as they are light and easy to shift. My sister used one on wheels and moved it about wily nily to the most appropriate spot depending on noise levels. Dead handy if tons of visitors arrive during nap time or your partner starts watching something mega noisy. It had a changing table suspended across one end and when the baby was little she used a cot bumper to split it in two so the baby slept in one half and she kept nappies and spare clothes in the other half. :-)

Are you up for a full year of not being able to read in bed?

I was very glad to move DD1 into her own room at 6 months. Actually, we moved out of the room, but god it was time.

Don't bother. I decorated a beautiful, albeit tiny nursery for dd1 four years ago including a fortune spent on furniture. Little bugger spent a grand total of 15 minutes in there. She is currently snoring beside me where she has been since birth . I don't anticipate any different for dd2 who is asleep now on my chest. I should have left my beloved iMac in the room!

When DS1 was born we lived in a two bed flat - but the second bedroom was occupied by my sister so he was in with us until we moved to a house when he was 16 months. He spent another month in with us (to get over the move and also because we had a lot of boxes in his room) before going into his own room.

In the flat we had the cot, a chest of drawers for DS's clothes in our bedroom and a changing table in the bathroom.

As he got older (8 months plus) I did sometimes regret not having a room for him, mainly because I never really got a decent nights sleep - always heard every snuffle - and also because I am convinced he didn't sleep as well as he could because he was disturbed by us (well, tbh mainly DH).

DS2 is due shortly and we have just started to clear out the room that will be the "nursery" - moving the home office into another room. I am expecting that the room will be used for storing clothes, the changing table and for either DH or I to sleep occasionally as we are also putting a bed in there. I expect I will start settling DS2 in the nursery for naps from 3/4 months, with the view to moving him at night by 8/9 months at the very latest.

Just as a warning, hopefully it won't be an issue for you but my DS hated sleeping in same room as me and dh. From about 2 months old he would sleep fine until we came to bed, then would be up complaining on and off the rest of the night! We had a month of this, put him in his own room, and he slept so much better!

Not trying to scupper your plans, but just be aware that this can happen. We are also in a small 2 bed flat so his nursey consists of a cot, a chest of drawers for DS, and a wardrobe & chest of drawers filled with dh's clothes. And all manner of junk that I really need to clear out eventually before he needs to go into toddler bed!

We didn't bother and seemed to be unusual in that. We had a bedside cot with mobile attached in our room and a chest of drawers in the spare room. We moved house when DD was 5 months and she went into her own room at 6 months. We didn't decorate her room when she moved in but eventually put up some of those sticker things that peel off again and would be ideal for rented accommodation. We never had a changing table. So don't have much baby specific furniture (just a cot).

Oh, we decorated a beautiful nursery with stenciled waves on the walls, lovely pictures from our trip to Hawai'i (we live on the West Coast of the US) made out of recyled barrels, etc, etc.

Ha ha ha ha !!!!!

I think I was in it a few times in the first year?

And then we moved anyway.....

For our first, we had a simple but very large nursery,( we were given a lot of stuff so it was great to have somewhere to put it) but we ended up co- sleeping for about two years. After about 8 months, we moved dd from our room, and put a double futon on the floor, her and I slept there, while dh got our bedroom. It worked out surprisingly well. I think she got a proper bed when she was two, but always preferred the futon.

Or this baby, we will not have nursery. We live overseas now in a three bed place, but do have a lot of visitors, so really need that extra room. Dd is six and does not want to share her room. We have the largest room, so wil probably get a dresser and a few baskets to put baby's stuff in, but will most likely move from here next summer when the baby will be 14 months. S/ he will get a room then. I won't buy a cot until we need it, dd never went in hers except once or twice for a photo!

A baby really doesn't need its own room!
I would recommend the Bloom Alma 'mini cot' on wheels, though. Fantastic if you live in a flat, your baby can just be wheeled into whichever room you need it to be in (fits nicely through most doorways). It will last you so much longer than a Moses basket, but not quite as long as a cot bed! All you need is a couple of drawers for clothes, and somewhere for nappy changes and you're all set.