How much do you trust your community midwife?

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Just been wondering about this following a recent conversation with a friend who said she thought her community midwife was incompetent and she didn't feel safe with her.

I had my CM during my last pregnancy with DD and I'm lucky enough to have her again. Everything my friend said seemed to be almost the opposite to what I have experienced For example her midwife is very hard to get hold of and she's not sure what to do when she can't - office hours only no mobile whereas mine gave me her mobile and clear explanations of who to call when. My friends is very off hand and disinterested and has a cold personality - I feel I could tell mine anything. Hers shows no interest in her previous pregnancy which was very difficult, mine is completely aware of what happened in both of mine even though dd is now 6 and advises me accordingly. I think the list of differences could go on and on.

The only similarities they have is that they are trained midwives and they are always late. After that conversation I feel really very lucky but was hoping I wasn't unusual in that and my friends is a one off

My first CM was simply awful. I formally complained about her and was assigned a new one. Although enthusiastic, her advice ranged from ignorant -"you should eat for two and no exercise" to negligent -trying to persuade me to give blood because there was a blood drive going on across the hall. Never mind that I was pregnant, had only just recovered from a bout of what was later put down as food poisoning and had just returned from an exotic trip.

So happy with my new MW though. She is a character but i feel 100% safe in her care.

Well, i am about to trust her with mine and my baby's life when she is here for my homebirth...i have no doubts at all.

I had the same one for all five pregnancies and she was an absolute treasure, I'd trust her completely.

Well I've never seen the same cm twice so wouldn't know! Currently at the end of preg with dc2 and we don't get allocated a specific cm, i just see whoever is at clinic when my appointments are made!

Due to it all being so impersonal I'm not even sure who I'd ring if I had a problem or needed advice (certainly don't get given mobile numbers!!) probably the midwives at the hospital tbh.

Mine are good, they always seem to be in a rush, but they are nice enough. Getting ahold of them can be an issue, they have an answerphone they check at the beginning and end of the day (the office is always empty), but if you need a quick response you call the maternity ward and they contact them.

There was one who came out when I was in labour with DS who I didn't like (not very helpful, in fact downright discouraging when I was having a slow labour at home), but the ones I see for appointments are all pretty good.

I really liked and trusted my community midwife and am really hoping she's still assigned to my doctors surgery for this pregnancy. When I first met her I was a bit dubious as she's comes across as really scatty but underneath that she really knows her stuff, she squeezed in an extra appointment for me that wasn't on the standard list because 'it's nice for first time mums to be reassured near the end' and she looked after me really well post-partum including lots of help with breast-feeding.

My midwife is so drippy it's scary. I did ask if I could get my community care elsewhere as she missed some fairly big thing last time. Unfortunatly there isn't an alternative. Her only saving grace is she's good at taking blood.
If I have any concerns I phone the hospital midwives & postnatally I'll be calling the GP.
It's worrying how out of date some MW seem to be, I know the NHS is strapped for cash but surely they do some training/C

I've moved house since I had DS1 and miss the last midwife I had - the one now always runs late, is in a bad mood, tells me to go to the hospital for blood tests as she 'isn't very good at taking blood', doesn't make appointments but tells me to phone up and get one 'in a few weeks' time' and when I requested an appointment that wasn't between 10am and midday on a Monday (because that is an entire morning off work for me) I was told I could go to the walk-in clinic in an emergency but she wouldn't let me see anyone else because that would intefere with my continuity of care. I'm glad I'm consultant-led on this one so I've been able to cancel most appointments and get the routine checks done at the hospital.

I don't. But how can you build up a relationship of trust when you see a different mw at EVERY appt?! It's a joke where I live. But at the end of the day they are only there to screen and put in the appropriate protocols in place should anything be wrong

Mine is wonderful and I trust her completely.

I do trust her, pretty much, though it may be because she's the only person I have seen throughout my pregnancy, so she's the only familiar face. She's very calm and deadpan, and I didn't much like her at my first appointment, but she's gone the extra mile in terms of phoning me internationally when she managed to get sight of my triple test results - I'm an older first-timer and was sick with worry. I would be feeling less afraid of giving birth if she was likely to be there, simply because she knows me, but she no longer works at the MLU. The best thing about her is that she does listen.

I trust mine, but feel incredibly sorry for her. She covers a massive area as the only CMW and gets so much stick, for running late etc.

At my last appointment she was in agony from a trapped nerve in her back but said she dare'nt cancel the clinic because she would never catch up again.

The pressure she is under is immense and must really dent her morale. :(

I really didnt like mine to start with, and then ive never seen the same one twice so I cant even give her the benefit of the doubt, my concerns have been that they have all been rushed, sometimes I think that comes across as cold and at times incompetent, I have to say the last four ive seen have all been very good though in a brusk kind of way, Im just thankful that I havent really had any need for much support or I think my experience would have been very different

I didn't get on with the first one at all. She was very grumpy and dismissive, which I found frightening and she NEVER explained anything. When all my blood tests went astray she told me I needed to chase it all up myself, including contacting the path lab at the hospital and that there was nothing she could do until I had got to the bottom of it. She also told me that if I could get my results I should check them myself to see if they are "normal". This led to me sitting outside my doctors surgery in tears because they did not look "normal" based on what she had said. What she hadn't told me was that the "normal" brackets alongside the results are normal for non pg people. Apparently this is completely incorrect and it is part of her role to sort things like this out.

I agonised about what to do and got quite upset because this is my first baby. It is amazing looking back how reluctant I was do try and change to another CM, but I didn't know whether it was her or me.

Anyway, I eventually got the guts to ring another MW at the centre that is looking after me. Interestingly she did not seem remotely surprised and she has taken over my care. She is great. She explains things, has sorted my notes out so they make sense, got to the bottom of my missing bloods, told me what to do to arrange the replacement tests etc.

Last time I went to see her at the drop in my first MW was also there. It was very interesting to see the queue of people who would rather wait to see the MW who is now looking after me rather than see the first one.

So my message to anyone who has a CM they feel is unsupportive / disinterested etc is to be brave enough to change. Sometimes it's you not them, but sometimes it's them not you and it is certainly worth finding out whether you can find a CM who you can have a better relationship with.

I thought she was very distant and serious at first, but it seems to be simply that she takes everything you say very seriously. Which is good as she was instrumental in sorting me out with mental health support.

Yes, she's very friendly, knowledgable and never rushes me. That's all I really ask of them so I'm happy.

I've been lucky to always have lovely midwives (was registered at a different surgery first time around and was shared by two midwives there) I feel sorry for those who've got useless ones. I'm actually lucky enough to have had two fab HVs too.

So lovey to hear a lot of you have had good experiences but at those who are saying that they rarely see the same MW twice. That sounds so impersonal.

As I say the only problem with mine is she's always late but I know that's because she takes time with people - I'm sure I've been the culprit making her late in the past sobbing all over her so I can hardly complain now if someone else needed her for a bit longer than usual.

My midwifes lovely, I'm planning a homebirth and I'm really hoping I go into labour when shes on call. Its sad to hear about all these women who don't have a good mw, must be scary

I've been really lucky, I'm under a team of midwives and they've all been fantastic so far.

I have a lovely CM - she has delivered my last two babies at home and will do this one as well, she is remaining on call for me and even though I am moving house before the baby is born she is still coming to deliver my baby and do all my appointments - she is amazing and I do trust her and her judgement completely

Yes I do, she is lovely (which is lucky as she's the only one I have seen this pg) and I would be very happy if she was on call when I have my homebirth. But this will be the 4th county I have had a baby in and each time the set up has been very different. With my 2nd I chose to go to the drop in clinic as it meant I would get to see all the members of the community team and so I should have met whoever turned up for HB at least once before!