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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks! Unplanned pregnancy

23 replies

AmeliaEarhart · 15/02/2012 09:35

I just found out this morning I'm pregnant again. It's completely unplanned - DS is only 15 months old. I've only been back at work for 2 months. I don't think I can cope with looking after DS and morning sickness (I felt like crap for 18 weeks with him) and I'm terrified about having 2 so close together.

DH is thrilled. I'm not. My first thought when I saw the 'pregnant' result on the digital test this morning was 'Oh fuck!'. We haven't had time to discuss it properly as we were rushing around getting ready for work and getting DS ready for the childminder. I feel so guilty for feeling like this :(

Please come and slap me round the chops and tell me it will be okay.

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OnlyWantsOne · 15/02/2012 09:35

IT WILL ALL BE OK

shineoncubiczirconia · 15/02/2012 09:42

Not only will it be okay, it will be brilliant. Hard work yes but brilliant. Congratulations. You're in shock. That's fine. You have time.

morethemerrier · 15/02/2012 09:44

Ok, brace yourself ,

Every pregnancy is different, you may not suffer to the same extent with regard to MS.

15 months DS will be a lot more independant at 2yrs old and that's actually quite a nice age gap.

You have everything geared up for a baby, equipment etc and work don't have to know until you either choose to tell them or when for your mat B1 (is that around 25 weeks?).

You have barely had time to eat your cornflakes,rush around doing you usual morning routine and discover your pregnant, that's quite a start to the day dont you think!

DH is thrilled, that's lovely and gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling! I m sure when you have time to sit down and work out all the practicalities,and digest the news you will feel a bit more positive!

Wotnow · 15/02/2012 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crochetcircle · 15/02/2012 09:54

I think fear is a natural and necessary part of early pregnancy. My second was planned but none the less I was crapping my pant for the first 4 weeks or so!

I'm into second tri now and feeling myself again and I'm so excited about number two.

Original poster

AmeliaEarhart · 15/02/2012 09:55

Oh thank you, you're all so lovely!

It's just such a massive shock! DH had chemotherapy last year, and we were told it may have damaged his fertility (which is one of the reasons he's so happy, I think). Also conceiving DS took months of charting, booze avoidance etc. This time we just got a bit careless on one of the rare evenings when we're not too knackered for sex and well, here we are...

We did want another. Just the circumstances make me feel so out of control.

Wotnow, how the heck did you cope?

OP posts:

Sazzy32 · 15/02/2012 09:56

Morning

Congratualtions!
I had three DC's with a 2.5 year gap from the oldest to the youngest. Was lovely. Hard work at times but so nice to have them close. though 3 teens is bloody hard work

morethemerrier · 15/02/2012 10:14

Oh wow!

That's one MASSIVE rollercoster of emotions to have flashed through this morning! After everything you have all been through.

No wonder it has thrown you off guard, congratulations!

You can survive ANYTHING, what a nice end to a shitty time for you all x

Traceymac2 · 15/02/2012 10:16

Congratulations! I planned my second (and third) children to be close in age. Dd2 was born when dd1 was 20 months and baby no 3 will be due in April/may when dd2 will be 2yrs old. I would rather get the hard part over in one go and for the children to grow up together. My two dd's are great friends and as daft as each other! If there was much more of an age gap I don't think they would be as close.

Original poster

AmeliaEarhart · 15/02/2012 10:45

DH was diagnosed with cancer when DS was 10 days old so the end of 2010 / beginning of 2011 was tough. He's been in remission for nearly 12 months, and life was pretty much back to normal until today.

I've not been taking folic acid (popping out in my lunch break to get some), is this really bad?

OP posts:

hermionestranger · 15/02/2012 10:47

It's ok. You're just in shock. My second pregnancy was nothing like my first. Not a minute of sickness. Ate like a pig, etc.

Deep breaths and you'll be fine x

NotWell · 15/02/2012 10:50

No it;s fine! I never hd folic acid as I never knew I was pregnant for ages...DD is fine. You will be fine...can you try to see this new bby as the end of the stressful time and the start of a new one?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/02/2012 10:53

Folic scmolic, just get some down your neck now. I took it for about five years. When we failed fertility treatment I stopped. a year later, I found out I was growing a baby. I started as soon as I found out, but she'd been gestating for about six weeks.
She is fine. Congratulations to you on your pregnancy and your DH on his high functioning jizz.

StealthPolarBear · 15/02/2012 10:54

AE I vomited loads with my first pregnancy, no actual vomiting with #2, and generally felt better, although soem queasiness. Even if you are sick, you will cope. Age gap - they'll be 2 years apart which is meant to be "perfect" (if you care about that stuff).
As far as folic acid goes, in general you should take it if you can. If you can't (because you weren't ttc), the vast majority of babies are fine as well.
so....CONGRATULATIONS :o

smokinaces · 15/02/2012 10:55

[Grin] you will be fine!
I fell pregnant with ds2 by accident when ds1 was ten months. There are 19 months between them. Ds1 was charting, clomid, two years in the making. Ds2 a rather big surprise.
It is hard work, but also so many perks. Ds1 still napped so I slept in the day in the last trimester - and when ds2 was young. Nappies, equipment etc all done in one hit.
Now they are 5.5 and nearly 4 and its still hard at times but also so much fun. They are friends as well as brothers, have similar interests, days out are easier, etc.
Congratulations!

SallyBear · 15/02/2012 10:59

Congratulations. The odd thing about second and third pregnancies is that you are so busy running after your oldest that the whole pregnancy thing passes you by!

DeeBeee · 15/02/2012 10:59

Oh wow, reading your story it seems like this baby was somehow meant to be! As NotWell says, can you look at it as a new beginning? The first trimester is hideous, but it'll pass as it is only 3 months of your life. It is such a nice age gap for the kids..

riamay2011 · 15/02/2012 11:18

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and my DD is 9 months old!!
I am bricking it but there are so many positives, like they will be best mates they will always have someone you get it all out the way at once!
Its easier than you think. I manage when i thought i would be awful.
Congrats!! It can be done, trust me :)

PandaWatch · 15/02/2012 17:20

Not that I have personal experience (currently ttc # 1 so generally a pregnancy forum lurker at the moment!) but there are only 51 weeks between my two older sisters (not planned that way) and my mum reckons it actually made life easier as they always had each other to play with, second eldest sister always copied oldest (which made things like potty training easier) and there was no jealousy issue as oldest sister was too young for that when second oldest came along.

Now one sister has two dcs 15 months apart and has experienced much the same thing, whereas db has a gap of 3.5 years between his dcs and did experience jealousy issues with the older dc.

So it'll all be fine and huuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggge congratulations!

Astronaut79 · 15/02/2012 17:29

We planned to get pregnant again when Ds was 15 months old (managed it at 16.5 months), so we could have a 2 year gap. It's pretty tricky at times, but now dd has his the magical 3 months, it's better.

Did feel worse throughout the pregnancy and have felt like I've not really been in work for about 3 years now, but at least we were all geared up for babies.

karron · 15/02/2012 17:41

I know how you feel, I had been back at work 1 and a half months was feeling I was getting my life back after having DS. Found I was pregnant again and just felt absolutley shocked and cried a lot. Blamed DH and was unbearable for about another 2 months. My DS will be about 23 months when the new baby comes in June and I am not looking forward to it at all as am dreading the lack of sleep. I have felt more tired and drained is this pregnancy BUT am already falling in love with my baby and going for the 20 week scan was brilliant. I love feeling it moving around and am looking forward to meeting my baby. I know I will love it even if I'm still not sure I actually want another baby (if that makes any kind of sense).

Not sure that makes you feel any better but you're not alone in how you are feeling at this news.

sasslejaney84 · 15/02/2012 17:50

[Thanks] congratulations!! I don't have any personal experience but my best friend had 3 kids all with an 18 month age gap and she said it was so much easier having them so close, she found it a lot harder with a larger age gap!! (Her 4th was 3 years later)

I will have a gap of 8 yrs!!

Original poster

AmeliaEarhart · 15/02/2012 22:20

karron, I appreciate your honest post. You've hit the nail on the head - I was just starting to feel like I was getting my life back too. DS has finally started sleeping quite well, he's settling in at the childminder's and I'm starting to feel more confident in my parenting and my ability to get through the day in general.

I popped out to get some pregnancy vitamins in my lunch break (I'd forgotten how bloody expensive they are!) and I picked up another pregnancy test to make sure. I tested when I got in from work, and I'm definitely, indisputably knocked-up. Wow. Still completely gobsmacked!

DH's enthusiasm is starting to rub off on me a little. He's already patting my belly and talking about 'the bean', bless him.

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