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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Today I had my first person......

24 replies

vix1980 · 14/02/2012 20:39

ask me if im having twins..... granted i was in a charity shop searching for maternity clothes, im a sz 12/14, 5 1/2 months pregnant and everyone has told me how im hardly showing, except this woman who asked when i was due, i told her June, she then shouted in horror, oh god are you only 5 months pregnant, are you having twins.... to a stunned me saying no and walking out.

Ive always heard the rumours how horrible people especially strangers can be but never actually believed it till today. Told DP before he says i should of just replied `when did you get run over?...or were you always that ugly'?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Beamur · 14/02/2012 20:41

There's always one. I had a (childless) woman recoil in horror from me when about 6 months pregnant - she thought I was about to deliver. Truth was I got a LOT bigger than that

BillyBollyBandy · 14/02/2012 20:43

I had a woman when I was 39 weeks ask me how long I hd left. I said a week she sadi "oh my god you're massive!" Yes I am, I have a week left you nutter

MrsS1980 · 14/02/2012 20:43

Some people have nothing better to do than be rude to others. Ignore and be grateful you don't have to spend any time with them!

beebee1978 · 14/02/2012 20:47

I had someone (customer at work) ask me if I was pregnant by any chance ( i was 38+weeks) or just fat. People are so rude

hippieshake · 14/02/2012 21:06

I'm tiny for my dates (24+4). My old Manager came into work last week and rather loudly said 'oh well at least you are starting to show now, we all thought you were lying.' I never liked her when she worked there, so I replied with 'At least I was skinny before,' and a knowing look. Felt awful afterwards, but she just upset me x

babybouncer · 14/02/2012 21:08

One of my colleagues (who I don't really know) saw me in a corridor and said 'Oh, you're looking lovely and fat now - and I can say that, can't I?' and walked off before I could say 'er, no actually'.

Worse than that was all the women with teenage kids who thought it was amusing to joke about horrific birth stories. I found putting my hands over my ears and saying 'lalalala, I'm not listening' worked quite well for getting my point across to them.

babybouncer · 14/02/2012 21:10

Also, just the word 'Ouch' after such a comment made people uncertain whether I was joking or not.

jaffacakehips · 14/02/2012 21:20

My friend had an old lady on the train ask her if she was having twins, when she answered no. The old lady said, oh well dear at your age (42) you'll never lose that baby weight after 2 mc and 1 still birth, I think a bit of extra weight was the last thing on her mind.

People are rude and think that when you're pregnant you're public property. Just wait till some random people walks up to you in a shop and pats your tummy!! Arghhh get off.

Original poster

vix1980 · 15/02/2012 08:54

Im ready for a stranger trying to grab my bump! oh im ready for someone to grab my bump, ill just grab their boob back and smile when they look uncomfortable.

Just cannot believe how rude some people can be, just cos your pregnant its like you can suddenly take fat jokes. FYI Were not fat, were pregnant!!

OP posts:

buonasera · 15/02/2012 09:44

I am actually having twins and in the same effing day I've had someone gasp in horror at how big I was and someone else tell me I was looking "very neat" i.e. not that big. Who ever thinks these opinions are welcome? Imagine their faces if I told them their ase wasn't that* big considering...

HidingInTheUndergrowth · 15/02/2012 09:58

Oh, I woildn't worry about it. People just seem to say whatever pops into their heads and there is no actual reasoning behind it.

I few weeks ago I had two people arguing in front of me about whether I was absolutly huge or really, really small. It got quite heated :)

stinkingbishop · 15/02/2012 10:02

34 weeks with twins and, well, big. At a wedding at the weekend I had the bump grabbing many times, tried to smile serenely, and then, extraordinarily, inebriated overweight rugger bugger thought it amusing to rush up to me and 'bump bumps'. With some force.

I backed away saying, 'you may just have beer and donuts in there, but I have two people. Don't hurt them!'

God can't wait till I'm not the only sober person at a wedding again!!

HardCheese · 15/02/2012 12:20

Be chilly, calm, and as rude as possible back. I honestly feel this is the only way that society as a whole will get the message that a pregnant woman's body is not public property to be commented on or touched at will. Make whoever says whatever it was wish they'd never been born, which is also surprisingly fun. Think of it as educational for them.

I actually think that getting that kind of 'fat' remark is a jealous put-down from some people - I've made no secret of the fact that I'm enjoying being pregnant and that I love my indiscreet 35-weeks plus bump, and there are some people, particularly a certain kind of woman (unfortunately) who feel you need to be reminded that it's not OK to be happy with your looks, especially when they deviate from whatever it is we're supposed to consider sufficiently thin beauty at the moment.

Yummymummyyobe1 · 15/02/2012 12:36

I hear you, a couple of weeks ago I was on the bus coming back from somewhere and this woman started up a conversation. You know the usual when are you due, is it your first do you know what you are having?

Then things got really weird she started to ask if I was with the baby?s father and whether we both worked. I told her very politely that her line of questioning was inappropriate and was making me more than a little uncomfortable. She looked at me as though I had three heads and a pitch fork for a tail.

All went quiet for a while and thought great whack a doodle has realised that she is way of the freak scale. Then she looks as me really seriously and asks if she can ask me one more thing. I thought if it shuts her up and she will leave me alone then when not.

She then asked if she could touch/stroke my bump, it was my turn to look at her like an odd job and again I told her that I was not comfortable with that, her response there is no need to get snippy I thought pregnant women liked to share their pregnancies. Long pause and a very wry look later I informed her I did like to share it with friends and family not complete (internal dialogue, whack a doodle) strangers on the bus.

I did wonder if I could have discreetly called the funny farm and have her picked up at the next stop. I had a t-shirt printed the other day that reads My Bump, My Business

buonasera · 15/02/2012 13:50

Oh god yummymummy, that's just too much! Sometimes I spot people staring at me on the train for waaaay too long... luckily my default facial expression on the morning commute says eff off, so noone ever tries to talk to me about it... also I listen to an ipod with sound isolating earbuds so can't actually hear anyone trying to start a conversation anyway :)

Talking of the old green eyed monster though I've been in/around a couple of work conversations with women who don't have kids, and there's been this subtext that getting engaged/married or having children is at odds with being ambitious... it's hard to see how it could be anything other than jealousy to imply that having a family means you're not serious about your job. But do they realise how bad it makes them sound? I spent 4 years having MCs and investigations before I managed an ongoing pregnancy and in that time I'd have happily poked anyone in the eye if they told me they were pregnant... but I'd never have thought to engage in any of this sort of low level bitching. Not because I'm nice, just because I'd expect people to see right through me and put it down to petty jealousy. Instead I spent that time congratulating people through gritted teeth.

BlondeBluebird · 15/02/2012 14:04

I thought it was just me who had to deal with a rude person.A couple of weeks ago I was out shopping and I went into a cafe to have a drink.I ordered a water and a glass full of ice.This woman who was behind me in the queue said "How on earth can you drink that when its freezing cold outside" to which I replied that I had extreme morning,noon and night sickness and this was my 1st and it was the only thing that gave me a little ease"..I had been retching whilst in the queue.I went and found a seat out of the way and sat down.Next thing the woman comes and sits on the table in front of me.She turned round and said "How old are you?" I replied that I had just turned 35.She then said "I realised you were old but didnt think you were as old as that, dont you think 35 is too old to be having your first child?"
I was totally speechless and just got up and walked out in tears.

So rude and hurtful and for no reason whatsoever.

Clandy · 15/02/2012 14:23

Ooh blondebluebird that sounds awful.... Especially hunting you down to say it! Poor you.

I had a man pat my (not massive or even overly obvious!) bump and say "good luck with that" as he walked past!!

Yummymummyyobe1 · 15/02/2012 14:25

People need to get their own lives. Let me, my DP and my bump get on with ours.

buonasera I have one of those looks also it says come near me an die.

BlondeBluebird what a complete B*h I would have thrown the iced water all over her (then again I am a drama queen at the moment) [hugs]

Maybe the pregnant women of Britian should all do a flash mob demo in their home towns with banners reading

My Bump, My Business
I'm pregnant, not fat!!
Leave us alone, we are not public property
Touch me and feel the wrath
I might have baby brian but at least I have manners

The end of the rally could be a mass spontenous birth.

BlondeBluebird · 15/02/2012 14:29

I was just speechless.Nobody ever thinks I am in my 30's let alone 35.I dress well and always have my hair and make up done etc.

So for this woman to say this left me in total shock.I am normally never short of an answer to anything. The only thing I could do is walk out.

I would never dream of saying something so insensitive to anyone.How dare she.For all she knew I could of been trying for years or could have had previous MC's.

Rude and ignorant.

Rant over..

KnitterNotTwitter · 15/02/2012 14:33

The only person who's stroked my bump this time round is my mum and I even wish she'd ask.

Last time round I had a random woman in the post office tell me that I should be at home with my feet up - I told her that actually I shouldn't as it would give me fat ankles, increase my weight gain etc.. she took it quite well.

This time I've already had quite a few people ask if it's twins - I keep pointing out that as I've had 5 scans so far I'm VERY sure it's only one baby in there...!

NoWayNoHow · 15/02/2012 14:40

I was big as DS was a large baby and I was polyhydramious, but it still doesn't stop feeling like shit when people point it out!

One time was at a concert when the woman behind me said, "Oh, I hope you don't go into labour in the middle of this" and I said, "Me too, I've got three more months to go!!"

The other time was only a few days later and I'd had to rush DH to A&E, so was already really upset and worried, and instead of compassion from the receptionist and dealing with it speedily, I got "So, when are you due? Wow, that's AGES away and you're huge! Are you sure it's not twins?" Cue hysterical sobbing from me.

buonasera · 15/02/2012 15:03

NoWayNoHow, it wasn't at the Lister in Stevenage by any chance?

I turned up at the Lister A&E a couple of years ago having just miscarried (by which I mean, in the car on the way), extremely dizzy, dripping blood onto the floor and the A&E receptionist barked at me to "get behind the line" while she finished talking to a paramedic! Noone else at the desk but me. I hope she gets hit by a bus one day (and that there's a delay on her admission to A&E because the receptionist is on a tea break)

Original poster

vix1980 · 15/02/2012 15:22

Oh theyre coming thick and fast now, just had another in matalan, ooh how far are you, is it your 1st?, wow cant believe your only 5 months!, have you had your scan yet?, is it definitely not twins?, i have 2 its sooooo stressful! then proceeds to tell me the intricate details of having to juggle 2 kids and work! i stood there glaring at her for a few seconds waiting for her to ring my stuff through, then she finally stops talking long enough for me to get a word in so i say (and im V. pleased with my response) "Did i ask"?

I then paid in complete silence and walked out very happy indeed! I can tolerate strangers talking about their own kids, but to practically say im so big at 5 months wondering if im having twins, i just couldn't help myself!

OP posts:

Original poster

vix1980 · 15/02/2012 15:24

I cant believe some of the stories on here though, especially the woman following just to say isnt 35 too old to have a baby, my friend is 39 currently due any day with her first, shes had the issue many a time bu she just replies well actually i had 3 Mc's, 2 rounds of IVF so i couldnt care less how old i was ive finally got my wish, shuts them right up even if it is sharing a bit too much info with strangers.

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