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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I am BURSTING to tell people!!!

19 replies

Snowbeetle · 14/02/2012 16:36

AArrrrhhh - I am ecstatic over very recent discovery of pregnancy and now..... nothing....... for aaaaages!

I am going to pop! I have a horrid feeling I will start accosting strangers and telling them, I'm preggers and isn't it wonderful!? to their poor bemused faces.

I haven't
yet

But I don't know how I am going to be able to wait 8 weeks! It really would be silly to tell people so early, if the pregnancy ended now it wouldn't even count as a miscarriage (?). I know I should at least wait till first midwife appointment if not the 12 week scan but how? without exploding?

I want all the exciting things to happen only now now now. The scans, the announcing, the 'this is the week it grows fingernails' etc etc.

Is anyone else feeling like this?

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AlexTasha · 14/02/2012 17:04

Congratulations :) How far along are you? It can seem a looong wait. I told everyone straight away, well, my mum and sister, but I found out at around 7 weeks.... It is soooo exciting! I am now 25 weeks and counting!

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 14/02/2012 17:05

I blabbed straight away both times

Very

Beans1977 · 14/02/2012 17:06

Congratulations!

I felt like this when I fell pregnant last year! After a bit of discussion we told a few people before our 12 week scan (at around 8/9 weeks), and then told everyone else after the scan had gone well. Unfortunately I had a MMC a few weeks later - but I was so glad people knew our situation as the love we felt from our family and friends was absolutely amazing and helped pull us through a very difficult time.

I'm now PG again and we have told our families and a couple of good friends. We would like their support/understanding however this pregnancy goes - they know how much this means to us and it's great to have them share our hopes and excitement this time round. It's also helped me keep a lid on my anxiety as I've been able to discuss my fears of a repeat performance with people I love and trust.

I think it's fine to tell people whenever you want. A friend of mine has just told me she is PG at 5 weeks - she was so excited and needed to share the news. I'm thrilled for her and happy I can support her through these early weeks which are a bit of a roller coaster. It seems a bit ironic to me that the first 12 weeks that are supposedly the most difficult/dangerous are traditionally kept a secret!

Original poster

Snowbeetle · 14/02/2012 17:24

I am 5 weeks. But actually you have all given me food for thought. Why do we wait to tell people. Well I know the answer but what I mean is like Beans1977 says if something does go wrong then no-one knows why you are upset if you have not told a soul, and if it does go well then you may as well tell people. :-)

So, really I suppose I was going along with conventional ways without really questioning why.

So if we agree there is no point then I can tell everyone right awaayyyyyy. EEK

Just got to find good moment now to tell family and then..... the world.

Congratulations Alex and Beans

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AlexTasha · 14/02/2012 17:39

I would definately recommend telling people that you are close to. God forbid, if anything were to happen you would want them to support you anyway and they would find out. That was my thinking behind it, same as beans.

HampdenMum · 14/02/2012 17:46

I feel EXACTLY the same.
My family are all on holiday and I saw them just before they went away - kept it to myself around the family but crumbled when I saw my Mum -didn't even use the words 'I'm pregnant' but said my period was late and i'd done three tests which were all positive!
She was really pleased but I'd timed it well and as I had to leave we didn't get chance to talk about it anymore. I felt terrible after telling her as I'm convinced she will have spent the week dropping hints to my family.

I just got back from my first GP appointment and now have a date for my midwife booking appointment. DH is reluctant to get excited until 12 weeks as he doesn't want to jinx anything. We wont tell his family until 12 weeks (or at least until ive see the MW) but I am BURSTING to tell everyone.
Telling the doctor and talking openly about it with her was a brilliant feeling today!

Shelduck · 14/02/2012 17:51

Hi Snowbeetle

You've got a point. I went down the route of just telling family and a few close friends/colleagues. Unfortunately, I did have an mmc at 11 weeks, and I wanted to pretty much tell everyone anyway - because, as you say, I wanted them to know why I was upset.

I think the only thing is that you might want to avoid the situation in which something does go wrong, and for weeks afterwards you have people cheerfully asking you how the pregnancy is going because they haven't realised what's happened. When I had my mmc, we knew exactly who knew, so we could tell them straight away to avoid that happening.

I'm now pregnant again at 23 weeks. To start with, we just told parents and a couple of my close work colleagues (so they could look out for me). Then told the rest of the family after scan at 9 weeks, gradually told more and more people, and then told the world at 15 weeks.

But it was very hard keeping it in!

Anyway, do what's best for you. And many congratulations!

niknakpaddywhack · 14/02/2012 17:56

How exciting!!!
I told everyone as soon as we had a psoitive result - we were excited and couldn't keep it in. And I'm so glad we did as I had a mc at 8 weeks and we had so much love and support, it really helped. Also, despite it being an early mc, it was still a much wanted baby and we needed to grieve, not forget all about it.

We did the same both times I was pregnant again, and have two ds's.

I can't see the point in waiting tbh.

Florin · 14/02/2012 18:52

You could compromise and have an early scan at 8 weeks. By then your risks of losing the baby are much more reduced if you see a heartbeat.

DialMforMummy · 14/02/2012 19:59

I told some people before the dreaded 12 weeks scan. As Beans said, I don't see the problem telling people before the scan.
Also I second the point that if things go tits up at leads some people are aware and can support more readily (not that they would not otherwise but you know what I mean). So yeah, tell a selected few and then the whole world after the scan! So people work it out anyway. And congratulations!!

Beeblebear · 14/02/2012 20:32

Snowbeetle. I couldn't keep it a secret even for one day. I'm one of those impatient people that does not like waiting for things (totally a christmas present snooper as a kid)

First - told my friend and we went shopping for the things i needed in which to suprise my DH that evening (yes I know I told a friend before i told my husband) Then he was so excited he told his best guy friend, who told his roommate and they went out and got him a card and collectors coke glasses for a present for that evening when they saw him.

Then we told his parents and then my parents the next day.

And yesterday I told my best friend.

Next we will probably tell our siblings - but after my first dr's appt on friday.

And then after that, we will wait until the first ultrasound to "tell the world" as you put it.

If something does happen then we have all the support of our close friends and family, and if everthing goes great we will have enjoyed sharing our genuine emotions at such an exciting time in our lives with those that we love.

0FrillyKnickers0 · 15/02/2012 09:41

Hi Snowbeetle! This is my first pregnancy and I found out at just over 4 weeks. Like you I thought I would burst! We found out on 22nd Dec so decided to tell family on Christmas day! After that we just let it get out.

We figured the only reason we would not want to tell people was out of fear that something would go wrong. I'm a worrier and so DH and I decided that we weren't going to let that fear lead us and that if something did go wrong, yea we would have to tell people, but we would have so much more support because of it.

At the end of the day it's your decision. I don't regret telling people early (6 weeks everyone else found out). I am 12 weeks now and sick as a dog so I know baby is going great guns! Oh, and congratulations!!!

Mikocat · 15/02/2012 09:52

We told our parents about an hour after getting the BFP, it would have been earlier but I did the test at 6 a.m.!

Mind you they all knew that we were trying and had been for a while and we had agreed that we would want our families support should anything go wrong.

I also told my manager at work very early on as I was suffering from quite bad sickness and any pregnancy-related illness doesn't go towards your total of sick days here, so I wanted that distinction made straight away!

MoreDeadlier · 15/02/2012 09:53

Hi Snowbeetle

Congratulations!
I got very overexcited when we got the bfp and told family and a few friends. I've just found out that I'm not as far along as I thought so have another 6 weeks before next scan! So frustrating!! Really don't think I'm going to be able to keep my gob shut for that long :o

Peasandyoghurt · 15/02/2012 12:01

Hi Snowbeetle, I totally know how you feel, I'm currently 15 weeks and time STILL seems to be going in super-slow motion - it was much worse in the first 12 weeks though; it literally felt like at least 6 months between getting BFP and 12 week scan and I too was absolutely burrrrrrsting to tell people!

I told my boss at 6 weeks because I was really ill and needed her to know why, then I was 7/8 weeks at Christmas and told a few people then. The only thing I'd warn, maybe not for you as you sound so upbeat, but for anybody terrified of something going wrong (as I was) you might want to forearm yourself emotionally against a couple of people reacting with something along the lines of 'hmm, verrry early then'! My boss said this and so did MIL and I have to say I found it really upsetting as it fed into the fear that I was too early for it to be 'real' or some such rubbish. I don't know, that's just been my lasting memory of telling people early - I've had much, much nicer experiences when telling people since 12 weeks, but then as I say it might just be me being particularly sensitive to the fear myself. (Also telling the wrong bloody people - sure boss and MIL would find ways of reacting in non-positive way even now!)

VickityBoo · 15/02/2012 12:09

I'm pregnant with our second and we found out on the day of a dear family members funeral. I told mum that evening and she was over the moon, it helped to lesson the sadness of the day.

Then we told dp's parents a couple of days later plus my dad. Told a close friend the same day too. Another close friend a few days later. Brothers and sisters also know now too. Also, my other half is so excited he told lots of workmates (in a completely different area and I don't know them really). Oh half my running club know too - seemed necessary in case something happened plus I'm not putting in the same effort!

I think it's good to tell close family and friends for support like others have said.

bumpology · 15/02/2012 14:42

I totally empathise. I'm 7.5 weeks and spending my day reading mumsnet forums, rather than working because I'm so excited. And this is my second pregnancy, so you'd think it would be less of a big deal! Both times we told close family and a few close friends. As everyone says, these are the people you'd tell if anything bad happens anyway.
Good luck! Time does speed up after the 12 week scan...

funchum8am · 15/02/2012 19:21

The only thing about telling people early who you aren't super close to is if you do sadly miscarry, you have to then ring them/email or similar and tell them or face their joyful "how's it all going?" type questions (as others have said). I had two MCs at 6 weeks -first time we had told family and a few friends, second time we hadn't. First time was hard for DH as he had to ring my parents, his parents and our best friends to tell them; second time we could wait a week or so til the grief had subsided a bit and then let people know I'd had a miscarriage (though I told my mum straight away). People were amazingly supportive and I didn't have to live in fear of running into someone who didn't know and might ask me questions, only to have me start sobbing on them. It also stops THEM being upset - it is less upsetting for them to hear you've had an MC if they didn't know you were pregnant.

Having said that I'm now pg again and have made it to 8+6 so have now just told my mum yesterday; we are having an early scan so may tell other close family after that.

Original poster

Snowbeetle · 15/02/2012 20:44

AARRGGHHH I have just written a fab message, sharing all your stories and wonderful chat from all the great messages you have all posted and when I hit enter it vanished
I simply can't write it all again as I have to go out now. Please take it from me your sharing was much appreciated and I was uplifted, moved and advised by them all.
So pleased for everyone who is now expecting after a previous loss.

Have told parents and sister and one best friend each. Was great.
Gotta go now.

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