any other single mums.. need a boost plz!!

[BelleRomford74]

Am 9 days off my ELC date & after going through a range of emotions towards the git of a Dad who does'nt want anything to do with us, I am starting to feel sad that he has made that decision & wish he would change his mind. We have only communicated 3 times during entire pregnancy & the last time he was quite abusive & said he wished the baby dead!! That actually did me good because it gave me lots of determination & strength to do it alone but in the last few days I have lost some of that anger & wish we could be on friendly terms. I have very supportive family & friends & not a 1st time mum so I know I can cope with whatever comes so I guess it maybe just hormones. I feel sad that all the coming arrangements for hospital addmission, theatre & coming home involve just me & my mum & not him, I worry what the other people on the ward are going to think of me.. arrrrgghh just slap me round the face & tell me, I can't force him to change his feelings, he is'nt worth worrying about & I will be fine!! Please xx

Oh hun i kind of know how you feel but i've only just snapped with my bloke and i'm still very angry!

It's all do do with his drinking, we had a bit of a party lifestyle before i got pregnant, we were out all the time etc then i fell poorley on hol last June and my pill failed and i conceived a little girl! Huge shock but an extremley happy one for me, i sat him down and told him i was keeping her etc and he could bugger off if he wanted but he promised we'd be a family etc, he's got a little boy whos nearly 3 and a result of a 6 week fling, he's never been with the mum properly so he wanted to do things right this time!

He was brilliant till the beginning of December when he just started drinking all the time then staying in bed till midday instead of looking for work (he's self employed so times are tough at the mo)

We've had horrendous arguments since then where he's wished our daughter dead also, i've always gone licking back to him to keep our family together even though he's caused the problems in my eyes! Anyway i just snapped last week, i bought all the stuff to do babys room (due in 9 weeks) and he got drunk every night and was too rough every day to do the room, i'd already painted 2 walls i just needed 2 papering which i can't do, i just told him to fu*k off on Friday and i've not seen him since i've had enough, missed a wedding on Sat so his family have prob called me rotten and my lovely dad did the babies room on Sunday and it looks beautiful ;)

I know exactly what you mean about the hospital, it will be sad that they're not there, i got a Haven hol confirmation through today which i booked for us in Sept and my heart sank a bit but we're strong and we can do it alone, i've got a good family like you!

Does your ex want to have contact with the baby?

They will never be what we want them to be hun or they'd be here fighting for us, and we will have happier children by not being in a 'wrong' relationship in front of them x

Ah, you have been through it & glad you found the strength to go it alone. Well done!!

He wants no part whatsoever in the babies life, at 1st I could'nt believe someone could feel that way about a baby & sat back hoping he would change his mind. Then the longer he ignored me the more angry I became, but when he was so evil & said the things he said, Once I'd picked myself up & dusted myself down I actually felt stronger. I decided that even if he wanted to see the baby when it's born I would refuse as he had his chance & I will not be informing CSA of his details.. but I have started to feel a little bit sad that we will not be experiencing this together even as friends.

Must be hormones coz I know someone who says he wishes a baby had been misscarried & if not stillborn then dies soon after does'nt deserve to be a Dad!!
Good luck!! x

you know deep down you CAN do this and WILL do this.like you said you hav esupportive friends and family
the last thing you need to be worrying about right now is this worthless piss-ant(fave phrase for dead beat dads!)

hormones can make us want rosy glasses happy families but you know in your heart it wouldnt be like that

im sorry that sounds harsh im not trying to be
i wish you all the very best with the last of your pregnancy and with the birth.

enjoy your new addition.unMN hugs.x

I'm in your position right now I'm having my first child and I feel as if I'm doing it alone the dad of the child when I told him was really heartless towards the fact we was having a child and as soon as I told him he said he doesn't want anything to do with it at all and he doesn't want me to tell the child his name when the child gets older I've tried my 100% hardest to try and persuade him like sending him pictures of the baby scans clothes I've brought and his mind just won't budge and he's just being stubborn and to be honest its the most horrible feeling of you going hospital and feel like your doing it all alone and by yourself of course you have family and friends there to support you but its nothing like having a male figure there to hold your hand and tell you everything will be okay and the people in the hospital don't fear or think about what they will say I'm sure they will think nothing bad towards you as they get patients coming in everyday and doing it by themselves more or less I think they would be more supportive and try help you I guess men are just stubborn creatures just try push out the fact he doesn't want anything to do with the child because it will only get you down more just keep your head high and think to yourself you can do this look at the bright side atleast the child won't favourtism any of you ;)
Anyways I'm sure you'll be a good parent regardless if he's there or not and good luck for you :)