Pregnant with third child and struggling to come to terms with it!

[charlybaby]

I have recently found out that I am pregnant with my third child (7 weeks) . I feel really guilty because although we always planned to have a third child, I don't feel happy with the situation at all. We weren't careful on purpose because we thought we would leave it to fate, but as the time my period was due came closer, I found myself hoping that it would come, and then it didn't, and now the reality of having a third child has hit home and I am struggling to come to terms with it. My daughter is 2 and 10 mths and my son is 1 and 2 mths and they are hard work, but I am really enjoying them as well - I feel like another child now will just be too much and my son is still so young. I feel really bad that I don't feel happy or excited about this pregnancy like I did with the others. I should really be extra thankful because I had several miscarriages and a year and a half of infertility beforeI got pregnant with my daughter and that was terrible. I am also 39 so it's not like I have loads of time to play with either, but I just feel like I need my life back for a while before I go through this again, and I don't know how we are going to manage financially. I don't know what I can do to stop feeling like this!

Hey, I'm preg with my third child, too , only just - 6 weeks preg - and, like you, had 14 months infertility before getting pregnant with my nearly-five-year old DS, and 2 m/c before getting pregnant with my nearly-two-year old DD.

I think it's normal to feel a whole range of emotions in the early stages of pregnancy... I think it's your hormones going haywire and encouraging you to rest (also feel sick... bleurghhh). Seriously. With DS I was convinced I had cancer and was not preg (some cancers test positive on an early preg test). I really thought this... With DD I was convinced it was a blighted ovum. With this one I'm crossing my fingers it's not twins. All irrational!

So, please be easy on yourself! The first trimester can be so horrible, and it's rough being preg with two older DC (though yours are younger than mine - I really do sympathise with you feeling like you won't cope - I feel the same and I'll have one in school when this one is born!)

Can you get some extra help? Lie in and have your DP help with the kids? Anything at all to make life a bit easier?

Hang on in there.....

Well I am 29 wks pregnant with dc3 & still struggling with it a bit. I am feeling terribly guilty for feeling this way.

Everyone keeps saying 'oo how exciting' & all I can think of is the negatives. Wish I could get past all my worries & feel more excited.

I have 3 dc and actively tried to get pg with all of them. Similar to OP 18m of miscarriage and infertility before ds1, ds2 took a few months but ds3 was a one shot deal so to speak!! Sounds trite but even though I love having 3 and really wanted to be pg I actively remember being petrified at the 7/8 week mark - I think it is quite normal to feel like this, especially if it happened quite quickly and easily and you were used to having time to adjust to the idea while trying.

I won't lie, 3 is bloody hard work, but such good fun too. And so nice to have the different dynamics between all the children. Hope you feel better soon OP.

Am 37 weeks with DC3 here and still have moments of "oh hell what are we doing?". Unplanned, very welcome but with one DC starting high school in September & one in yr 1 it all seems a little unreal at times.
Go easy on yourself, you're early on yet & have time to get used to things. Rest up as much as you can & don't be afraid to ask for help! xx

So good to hear its not just me who is feeling excited/stressed/scared.....

Just found out I am pregnant with DC3, DD1 will be 4yrs 10 months when baby is born (expect my date will be around 3rd Oct, eek!) and DD2 will be 2 yrs 4 months.
We had always planned another baby but this was an unexpected happy surprise-I veer madly from 'oh wow, can't wait!' to 'oh my goodness how will we cope?'!
Am just trying to stay positive amongst the headaches, tiredness and nausea...!

I'm 8 weeks pg with dc4. Got pg on first month and now wish I wasn't. We have a great life with 3dc and the youngest is due to start school in sept. My dh and I go out lots and enjoy life. Now I just think of the breastfeeding, sleepless nights that will come again. How do I snap out of this?

37 weeks with number 3 and felt exactly as you do now to start with. You do have two very young children so it's natural to feel worried about how you'll cope but you will. plus you'll have done all the baby years together.

Mine are 8 and 2.5 my toddler is still
Very much my baby so feel quite guilty
About the time I'll not be able to spend with him exclusively but think you always feel that when a new sibling comes along no matter what their age and the benefits of having a sibling always really exceed any guilts you feel at the time.

You've got plenty of time to get your head around the idea, you'll certainly be ready by the time baby is here. Congratulations and good luck xx

Yep also 37 weeks with DC 3 - totally unplanned and did think about what to do when first pg. age gap of 12 years as well but both DDs are very excited as his DH. Think raging hormones when first pg don't help with emotions. It will be hard but I have friends with close age gaps and they have said how much easier it is.

Thanks everyone for your positive comments - am starting to come to terms with it now, although still a little daunted. My daughter has really got into her baby doll the last few days and told me she wanted a baby sister! which made me think it must be fate. Good luck to you all xx