pregnancy meltdown

[loudee]

I am delighted to be pregnant but really not enjoying being pregnant at all. Amongst other delights unrelenting nausea is becoming really depressing. I know I've got it easy compared to many poor women but i am suddenly overwhelmed with panic. If I cant cope with feeling like this for a few months how the hell am I going to cope with looking after a BABY?!

As well as feeling physically crap I now feel like I've failed as a mum before I've even started.

Does/has anyone else felt like this? Is it just hormones? Help!

Hi loudee, you haven't failed at being a mum, I have 3 dc and being a good mum is very different from feeling miserable in pregnancy, at 12 weeks with dc4 I feel like rubbish, I'm miserable and wondering if I can cope with the next 6 months or so, of course I will and so will you and in a years time it will be a distant memory.

With DC1 I left DH for a week to be cared for by my mum who let me laze on the couch and did everything for me. I think sometimes we all need a little break :)

Looking after a baby is easy compared to a horrible pregnancy as you can cope better when you are feeling 100% and not having someone steal all your resources.

I wish I could run away back to my mum this pregnancy, but I have DS to look after :(

Looking after ds wasn't easy but was one heck of a lot easier than being pregnant with him!
At least once a baby is born you don't need to do much other than look after them and can go meet other mums in the same situation, and generally feel physically better.

Or as I'm telling myself (dc2 due imminently), baby will be noisier after birth but at least won't have her head shoved in my pelvis kicking me and I won't be sick all the time.

Hope your nausea wears off soon!

Once your baby is born, you can put then down and even leave them with someone else. You can't get rid of your bump for an afternoon.
Having a baby is challenging in different ways. After DS1 I would say I preferred being pregnant, after DS2, I prefer having the baby.

I had total meltdown too at weekend.. glad its not just me... woke up middle of the night bawling my eyes out (not just a couple of tears, we're talking snot etc) woke DH up saying 'i want my mum' (my parents are away travelling at the mo) and 'i'll be a rubbish mum etc'.. anyways am putting it down to a hormonal blip as not feeling too bad today.. not sure what it was really as although i've registered i'm pg, just felt like it suddenly dawned on me that in just over 6 months time we will be joined by another person! Hope u feel better soon x

Yes I can identify with this, had a total meltdown week 6 of both pregnancies and also about 2 weeks ago about the fact it has to come out (im 36 wks). some of the most sensible things that people have said to me are - thats why you get 9 months to get used to the idea and all babies need are love.
I have spent preg being up and down, one day bawling not wanting to go out, convinced I'll neglect my baby as much as I have done my houseplants, next day skipping round mothercare planning what I will need & looking forward to it all.
Just think how awful PMT could be (you are lucky if you didnt have it!) pregnancy is a 9 month dollop of it and some. thing is with pmt (if you are regular) it is expected, planned for and lasts a few days, then you return to normal. Pg, birth & complete life change is the unknown so you are allowed to freak out.
I guess - give yourself a break if you are freaking out, you will do some days. Having a baby is on the high stress list along with moving house/bereavement/marriage.
I have found relaxation cds helpful and weird but taking a day off from being pregnant, do other stuff, dont obsess, no googling etc can help too.

Thank you all for your replies. There is a lot to be said for knowing I'm not alone.

I find it so incredible that for some of us it's hard to accept we are pregnant; I went for an early scan the other day and I felt like I was watching the telly, not that it was live from my own uterus! I seem to comprehend it for a few moments and then it goes again.

Good luck all of you that are currently pregnant. Wishing you a happy and healthy rest of pregnancy x

It doesn't really become real till the baby is in your arms and even then I keep wondering when someone's going to tall me its a mistake, this isn't really your baby! Being a parent is definitely a process rather than a destination but you aren't alone and you will be great, the very fact that you're worrying says you care enough to make it work