question for those of you who exclusively breast fed

[ktef]

Hi, I would appreciate your help. I am pregnant with dc3 and there is a possibility that dc3 may have a genetic illness. We won't know until after birth. For various reasons, for people with this illness milk (even tiny amounts of colostrum) is extremely dangerous and therefore the experts have recommended that I do not breast feed until tests are done to establish whether or not dc3 has the illness.

So my question for those of you who exclusively breast fed and planned to from the word go: During those initial skin to skin moments: did your dc try to feed from you? Did the fact that you didn't breast feed them stop/change/delay the bonding? Did you have to actually stop them feeding from you? Did you still have skin to skin? when did you give them their first formula?

I'm sorry if these are stupid questions, its just with both ds1 and ds2 all the emphasis during those initial moments/hours was about skin to skin and trying to breast feed and so I have no experience of those moments if feeding is forbidden/dangerous. I feel a bit tearful and wobbly at the thought that baby might be rooting and I will have to hold them back to stop them feeding. I feel sad that within moments of meeting dc for the first time I will be stopping them doing the one thing they instinctively want to do. But I know millions of people bottlefeed with no problems, so I know I will get used to this idea - but I just can't picture those first moments.

Any help/reassurance would be great!

Sorry to hear you are facing this situation. How long do the tests take?

When ds was born I had to ask to do skin to skin as they wrapped him up and after a while I just put him to my nipple, he didn't show any signs getting there himself. You could still do it I imagine and wear a soft bra (I think the dark colour of your nipple contrasting with your skin is one of the ways they know where to go) if you want to avoid accidental latching. Also my dh did skin to skin for a while when I wasn't allowed to hold him.

I exclusively breastfed DS1 but our circumstances were a bit different. He wasn't able to feed for the first few days and received forumla via a NG tube. It was tricky getting breastfeeding established. If I had my time again I'd have sought out advice from the hospital's breast feeding adviser much earlier than I did. She was fab and without her help I don't think we'd have got breast feeding established.

I hope that the tests are all ok. You might want to repost this in breast and bottlefeeding as there are a few experts there who might be able to help.

My experience was similar to jaffacake's. Baby was perfectly healthy but did not feed at all for about 24 hours and then needed a NG tube as was not feeding. I don;t think it affected our bonding. I think that BF is something that most babies do need to be taught or coaxed towards so I don't think that the baby will try to latch on. She might root a little but I don't think any more than that.

I don't see why you would not be encouraged to do as much skin to skin as possible - afaik it is good for the baby for lots of reasons not just feeding and it is lovely for you too.

i'm sure that the midwives/paeds will be able to advise you on when to give the first formula feed etc.

I'm not surprised you feel a bit wobbly about it all , I would too. I hope that the tests come back ok and quickly. You might also get some good advice in breast and bottle feeding about maintaining your supply by expressing in the event that the tests prove normal and you wish to establish breastfeeding later on.

best of luck

Thanks everyone for your replies. I really appreciate it. I didn't realise there was a breastfeeding section, so I will repost it there. But already you have helped. So thank you!

Sorry, reading my post back again I realise it sounds a bit negative. I think our problems were down to our personal circumstances. What I wanted to do was to make clear that there was a breast feeding adviser at our hospital and that she was fab and that it may be worth finding out if there was one at your local hospital. If so, she may be able to give you good advice pre birth. Good luck.

My DD was prem and had to stay in SCBU, fed via NG tube. She did nonetheless try to root but didn't really try to latch on until I held her right to my nipple, so I don't think it will be a case of having to pull your baby away. If you put their head up by your shoulder or lay them between your boobs you probably wont have any problems doing skin to skin, or just put the baby on your tummy.

Although she was covered in tubes and wasn't bfding to start with we have had no problems bonding and I went on to feed her exclusively for eight months (when we finally got out of hospital!).

I hope it works out well for you, if your baby does have this condition all you can do is go with it and learn together what works for you both :)

Hope it all works out okay for you. My daughter didn't feed for the first 12 hours or so.

If milk is extremely dangerous, what will your baby be fed?

So sorry you'e facing a tough time - please don't let this get you down, I second thejaffacakesareonme's advice about the Breast Feeding Advisor at your hospital (think they're sometimes called Breast Feeding Counsellors, too). Ask your MW if she knows their contact details or call your ante-natal assessment dept. at the hospital. Talk this through with them now so that you feel confident about the situation and aren't having too many tearful moments now :)
For what it's worth, when DC1 was born we had lots of skin to skin and he just wasn't interested in the slightest. I was obviously worried as I thought it'd be the first thing he wanted and I was worried he wouldn't feed. The advisor at my hospital said it's completely normal for babies not to feed in that initial skin to skin time.

During those initial skin to skin moments: did your dc try to feed from you?

Some were keener to root than others, but mostly I would say they didn't root at all in first half hour post birth. I'm sure a dummy or a finger would have sufficed, too, when they were rooting at that stage. DC1 was the most likely to root, & quite hungry about 1 hour after birth, the others much less bothered.

Yes I had skin-to-skin, never gave formula so can't comment there. I think you'd do well to talk before the birth to some of the breastfeeding support people (NCT, LLL, etc.) to plan how to ensure a successful transition from bottles to boob (X my fingers your baby won't' have the genetic condition).

Best of luck with the birth! :)

Thanks so much for all your replies. I didn't know there was a breastfeeding advisor at the hospital so I'll definitely ask about that. And its really helped focus my brain on how to still have skin to skin without the feed. I think the plan is for baby to be the neo-natal ICU when they first try milk of any form, so I just want to be careful about no feeding, but also get as much of the bonding/meeting/time with baby as possible before they take him/her away. I really appreciate you all bothering to reply, you've helped me focus on the practical way of dealing with it, rather than just feeling tearful and emotional - as I was yesterday.

How long will the testing take?
With my little boy, he was handed to me but I was being stitched up and didn't feel at all comfortable trying to hold him and cope with being stitched up (I did have local anaesthetic but it was all v. uncomfortable) so he didn't feed right away then. I don't really recall if he fed at some point in the delivery room but he was then taken away to get antibiotics (as I had tested positive for StrepB during pregnancy and hadn't had the full dose in labour) and I didn't see him for about 4 hours or so. We didn't have problems getting feeding established but, I guess, it was a short timescale.

I don't think you woudl have a problem with managing skin to skin and baby not feeding, I think if s/he was really rooting, you could probably give a little finger or knuckle to suck .

I think they are often called Infant Feeding Co-ordinators so they aren't seen as just for breastfeded babies.

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling tearful and emotional, it must be scary to hear that your baby could be ill.

Here is a page about expressing and keeping up your milk supply, if your baby is not feeding from you, if you go down that route. Good luck.

Sorry for being nosey but what is the potential condition?

Good idea to get the BF specialists on board before your baby is born and also to double check that 'no milk' does include human milk.

Even some Paediatrician's confuse breast milk with cow's milk formula and lump both together as 'dairy'

Sincerely hope the tests prove negative.

Until results are in, you could express regularly so that if you get the all clear the first milk your baby gets is yours