Having baby in 2 weeks father not around, do i text and tell him??

[louisa123456]

I am having a planned section in 2 weeks time, me and the babies dad split up when i found out i got pregnant, because he didnt want another child and it was either him or the baby, i chose the baby. All the way through the pregnancy i have text him and told him things like when i was going for my scans etc i even sent him scan pictures, i have told him everything that has happened throughout, but he hasnt replied or text been incontact, now the baby is due i am wondering do i text him and tell him when im going to have the baby, do i ask him if he wants to be there, do i tell him when baby is born and do i go to the csa or just not bother and wait to see if he gets incontact???

I wouldn't tell him anything if he hasn't replied so far. But I'm not sure about what that means in terms of CSA etc.
Good luck , you and your baby will love each other no matter what.

I would just send a cursory text to say your Ds/Dd is here when you can be bothered once baby is here. He obviously doesn't care. Then get CSA involved and forget about him, you have tried and he has given nothing back, making it clear his stance.
He might be tempted to play Daddy once baby is here, but I would be tempted to tell him to take a long walk off a short cliff! Sorry he is a shitbag and why on earth would you want him there? Are you hoping for more, yourself?

louisa, i would send him a text once your baby is born & youa re home & settled, saying you have a son/daughter born on x date & named x.
He may be a useless shit but when your child is an adult any lack of contact is entirely the fault of the father & you can get on with enjoying your baby.

I think I'd text after the section, just say your son/daughter was born today!

Soooooooo hard to say when it's not me in the position though

Having been in that position I would text. I made the mistake of calling ex soon after ds was born. Ex came to register the birth but that is the only time he has seen ds and at that stage we weren't sure ds would even leave hospital (prem and poorly). We have spoken once since then, when ds was 5. He called him the 'non aborted foetus'. The CSA were helpful in getting him to pay but he became self employed and hides his income.

Yes, really, why would you want him there when he's totally ignored you up till now.

Have your mum or best friend there.

Oh, and if I were you, no way I would have him on the birth certificate as the father. Just to protect you and your child in the future.

All the best! You can do it! (My son's dad left at 6 months).

Since you've been texting him about other pregnancy-related things I think it makes sense to text him to let him know once the baby's been born, just out of politeness, I guess. But then stop texting him completely. I wouldn't ask him to be at the birth, why would you want him after the way he's behaved?

Oh Louisa, that so could have been my post!!! I too am having a section in 2 & a bit weeks & same situation with the Dad... (made more complicated by the fact he is a neighbour!!) I too by text & note let him know how things were going only to be totally ignored, a few weeks ago we bumped into each other & he was actually really abusive told me he had been ignoring me for a reason..he wished I had misscarried & if the baby is born healthy he wishes it dead!!!!!! (Nice guy!!) Once I had stopped crying, picked myself up & dusted myself down, it helped me see things clear.. I stopped hoping he would change his mind once the birth was close or once he saw his son.. I figured I had just been believing no one could be as cold & heartless as to have a child so close by & ignore it but hey I guess there really are such horrible people out there!! His cruelty made me a million times stronger than I already am!! We have not spoken since, I will not be telling him another single thing nor will I let him see the baby should he (billion to one chance) want to see him, I will not be contacting the CSA as I don't want him to have any kind of claim over his son.. He has had 9 months to step up, stop acting like a spoilt kid (just because I did'nt have the termination he wanted me to) thousands of men have been in his place & done the right thing.. to ignore me is bad enough but to abuse me he crossed the line. I hope you are as lucky as me to have a supportive family & gang of friends behind you.
Maybe your ex partner will change once the baby is here but don't bank on it, to me silence speaks a thousand words. Good luck xx

Hi thanks for all your replies, i managed to get incontact with my ex, i asked him first of all if he wanted anything to do with this baby to which he replied no so i then just put the phone down, he doesnt know when the section is booked or anything...and that is how it is going to stay he has made his bed now he can lie init, least i know i tried.

Thanks for all posts xxx