Announcing to unsupportive In Laws, what to do, help!!!

[XboxWidow30]

When we announced pg number 4 they told us we were mad. Now we are on pg number 5, I have my scan on Friday and planning to announce to friends on Friday via a facebook announcement, however In Laws need to know. What to do? Hubby doesn't want to do it, all of my family will be happy for us we just don't want to hear the In Laws reaction.

Help please!

My husband decided to inform his parents of DS's impending arrival by posting them a card with a copy of the first scan picture in it.

Someone suggested this but I thought it a waste as they wouldn't appreciate it, really they wouldn't. They are more likely to disown us, thats how bad it is! I am tempted to announce on fb and let them find out that way. Or wait until August and just turn up with a new baby, lol!!!

Good idea Natasha, or send the children round once we have told them. They will tell them! Or post a note through the door and then leg it, lol!

why wont they be pleased? sad foryou at such an exciting time

Just don't bother! let them find out as and when.
If you think they will disown you - does it matter?

Without knowing anything else about your relationship with them it's hard to know how best to handle it. Personally, I think you need to do it face to face and just be prepared to put a mask on and ignore what they say - concentrate on everyone else's reactions.

We do have a relationship with them of sorts. They certainly aren't hands on grandparents, they only see us if we go round there and that maybe every few weeks even though they live about 2 minutes away.

I am sure they won't disown us, it's just the reaction I don't want to hear.

My inlaws are unsupportive too. When I was pregnant with DC1 following two losses (which they knew about and knew how desperate we were to have a baby), we told them with massive smiles and the reply from MIL was - Is that good news?

I was dreading telling them about pg 4, knowing fell well they would disapprove. They are the kind of people who didn't like us living together unmarried, and then when we got married didn't think we were doing the right thing. Nothing pleases them! I had told DH that he would have to tell them as I couldn't face the negative reaction. As it turned out, his Nan had said something while unwell and confused and the MIL rang and asked me direct. I couldn't lie to her so said - Yes I am pregnant, we are really pleased and if you can't say anything happy about it then please don't say anything at all.

Funnily enough at almost 15w pregnant, they haven't said congratulations or acknowledged the preganancy. Their loss :)

Is there another family member who could tell them for you? Maybe you should just be blunt with them - it certainly shut my MIL up for once :o

Suzy x

It's none of their business whether you're having no. 5 or no. 25. I'd suggest telling them face to face but be sure to be leaving soon, so as not to have too much nastiness on their part towards you. Then the ball's in their court.

Don't forget the MN adage 'Did you really mean to be so rude?' if they're horrible about it.

If you're happy, your dh is happy, and your children are happy, then that's all that matters.

Congratulations!

Empathy for you, my inlaws had a similar reaction when we announced DD was on the way. Also they too barely see us even though they live 5 miles away and both drive. The infuriating thing is DD bloody loves them! Lol. Oh well.

Congratulations and good luck, xx.

For us, it's my mother that's a bit of a pain. She managed a begrudging "congratulations" at the time, then refused to mention it again until about a week later when she decided to tell me all about her friend who died in childbirth . A couple more weeks later and she can just about have a "normal" conversation about it, but only in practical terms, there's no joy there or talk about planning on coming to see us once the baby is born like everyone else (we live abroad) just nagging me to remember to take vitamins, eat properly and keep my doctor's appointments, like I didn't already know.

We actually chose to tell her first and I'm quite glad we did as after that we were distracted by telling everyone else and getting more cheerful reactions from PIL and my dad so didn't really notice her sulking and left her to it.

I think that's the only way you can do it, tell them and if they have a negative reaction, leave and ignore them until they can be a bit more positive.

I'd tell them if they were being rude. Tell them there's no need to be like that and if they can't be nice then to keep it buttoned.

Congrats on the pregnancy :)