Antenatal classes - how important is it for dads to go?

[MillyStar]

I'm 28+5 with my first and i've just booked my antenatal classes starting on 7th Feb.

They're 10-12 on Tuesdays mornings for 4 weeks, my bf is a self employed plasterer so he couldn't go to work before 10am as he woud have no time to do anything, so to come to the classes with me he'd have to lose £60 for a mornings work for four weeks so really he'd be paying £240 to come with me!!

Is it really that important or did many of you go alone?! We really can't afford to lose that money with a baby arriving in 11 weeks!

i never did any ante-natal classes but i think you will manage ok without him... maybe take a friend to be in his place, and then you can bring him up to speed with what you learned?

Could you find out what the topics for discussion are going to be at each one?

You may feel that you really want him to attend the class on labour/support, but dont really need him to hear all about the ins and outs of breastfeeding.

TBH, this is why we've had to pay for NCT classes that run on a Saturday, locally my NHS classes are all during the working week - none of them run in the evenings/weekends.

I'd say it doesn't matter if he doesn't go to the classes but it's very important that he knows the basics of what is going to happen during the birth. It can be very scary for men to see their partners in so much pain, and doing something so out of the ordinary, and will be much worse for him if he doesn't know what's going on. There are other ways for him to learn though - you could tell him what happened at the classes, they'll probably give you handouts, or he could watch One Born Every Minute, there are books especially for expectant fathers, or he could come on Mumsnet!

It really depends on what's being covered and how many sessions etc. I've only got 3 to go too and been lucky my dh work is very flexible..

I had my first one last week and he said he found it useful for the really anal practical stuff like:- which number to phone in on and at what point, where the drop off point is, parking, where reception is, where delivery suite is, what the rooms are like, knowing who to report too, what happens after delivery, security, visiting times etc

He came to the bf one yday and although he felt awkward being the only bloke there he found it beneficial more so he could support me if I started to struggle. but tbh he could have got away with not going

And later this week my last one is on pain relief. I've said he doesn't have to come as I have an idea of what I'd like/not like and my reasons why.

At the end of the day if he can't make it it's not the end of the world. With sessions at that time of the day you won't be the only person on your own for whatever reason. As long as you go into labour with some kind of plan between the pair of you and he's able to relay your wants n needs to the mw's you'll be fine

I am sure you would be ok without him, I know a lot of my friends did their antenatal classes alone but it could be nice to bring a friend or family member with you too if he can't make it.

Think jambalaya had a good idea about findingout the topics for each week. Then if there is a topic he really wants to go to it's less money than if he missed work for all 4 classes.

I think I may be in a similar postition as my BF is self-employed too and works tight at the minute so he has to take what he can before the baby comes! I don't mind about ante-natal classes because I know if he can't make it my mum will come.

My partner came to the relaxation classes and it helped him to help me during labour - even if it was just to say,'remember to breath slowly'.
He didnt come to the breast feeding classes and I didn't think he'd need to. But I think it would have helped if he did - I think you get some negativity about breast feeding from people that don't understand (family saying, 'are you feeding AGAIN?!' not understanding about demand feeding) so although he stuck up for me, I think it would have been nice for him to really understand it.
But like the others have said, it's not the end of the world if he can't go.

I'm not that fussed to be honest i think if he started telling me how to breath as if he knew it all when i was in agony i would literally swing for him lol

I was more worried about someone saying that he really should be there, my mum works at a school but she could come to the class when it's feb half term, i'm staying living with her anyway and she's had me and my 3 brothers so she can be my guru

I have made him watch one born every minute i'll stick that on again tomorrow night and make sure he knows what will happen, i think i'll pack him off to work thanks ladies ;)

have you got the purple pregnancy book? if so, maybe he could just read that. i am not going to antenatal classes and my mw just said to read that, it covers all the basics.

Yeah I wouldn't worry about it too much. The only bits me and the OH found useful in the antenatal classes were the sort of hospital admin bits (where to come, visiting hours etc) but you can tell him all that. The rest of it was just a repeat of what's in the baby books and the NHS direct website, but in an overheated room on uncomfortable chairs with no toilet break for 2 hours!

Loads of people say how useful they are for making contact with other parents etc... I don't know, I must be quite antisocial but our classes were only 4 weeks, with the best will in the world I'm not going to get to the point of swapping phone numbers with people when I've met them 4 times for 10 minutes at the end of an antenatal class...