3-4 weeks pregnant and shocked/terrified, please help!

[DangerMousey]

Hello, i am totally new to MN and haven't really used web forums before, so please forgive me if I get some of the acronyms/etiquette wrong!

I found out last week (Friday), that i got pregnant on my honeymoon, which i got back home from on Thursday. DH and I have been together 4 years, and had always been v careful about contraception, but on honeymoon we decided to leave the condoms at home - it seemed romantic to throw caution to the wind :-/

We had discussed having children and we had said we wanted them one day, so we thought 'ah well, if it happens, so be it' - but I don't think I really thought it would....we're both in our early 30s and lots of our friends had taken over a year to conceive, so we assumed it would be the same for us.

Anyway, period didn't arrive as expected last week, and lo and behold - it worked! I am approx 4 weeks pg and feel completely terrified, overwhelmed, and an emotional wreck. Even though I thought I wanted kids, and our relationship is great, loving, secure and happy, i feel totally terrified about the changes this is going to bring to my life, my career and my body. And I feel guilty for feeling like this, when we made a conscious decision to abandon the condoms.

Is it normal to feel a sense of blind panic when you find out you're PG? Even if you thought you wanted it?? Could part of my feelings be down to PG hormones? (I am crying a lot too). Am I normal?? Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who's had similar experiences/feelings.

Congratulations and how lovely a honeymoon baby :-)

If it makes you feel any better, I worry now like I have never worried before (we reckon I'm 6 weeks pg) and I panic over the little things (ie, why do my boobs hurt? Why don't my boobs hurt? Why have I got a twinge? Where has the twinge gone?).

I too, am terrified at the changes it will bring, but then, in my more lucid moments I sit there and think, fingers crossed and every god willing, that in 9 months we'll be sitting here a little family unit and that makes me smile.

I conceived just before Xmas and I swear I cried for the entirety of the festive period, couldn't work out what was wrong with me; now I'm 99.9% sure it was those hormones zipping round my body, so I'd say yup, you are totally normal.

Just take it easy, (easier said than done), see your gp and make an appt to see the midwife; she'll smooth your furrowed brow (at least I hope she will - seeing mine today with quite a lot of furrows!).

Good Luck - and these boards are amazing, I swear the women on here know EVERYTHING. And they can make you smirk/giggle/chuckle/belly laugh, too.

xx

we had been actively trying for our first baby for about 9 months when i fell pregnant, and when the blue line appeared i distinctly remember thinking: shit! there's no going back now!! in absolute panic!! you'll be ok and your reaction is probably just the hormones. congratulations !!!

Congratulations! a honeymoon baby :-)

We have one of those as well! Makes me smile..

I think feeling confused, terrified, even a bit depressed.. it's very normal, especially if the pregnancy was a bit of a shock. But you will cope. Just let it sink in a bit.

All change brings uncertainties and that can make us anxious. But think about the possibilities as well. And no, it isn't all diapers, Yummy-Mummy-Groups and baby's every single step from now on... unless you want it to.

Everything will fall into place, and make sure you make time for your relationship regularly.

Good luck and congrats again!

Welcome to the world of being a parent! The worry never stops, it's natural!

congratulations it is terrifying.it is life changing
it is also a planned and wanted baby
and the panic is also natural
but so is the nice bits of gawping at babies in prams and wondering what your baby will look like
daydreaming what will baby look like

on a practical level if you're going back to work,start to look for nursery place now

Congratulations on your baby. My DH and I are in our late thirties and we kinda thought it wouldn't happen or that it might take months and months. Turns out it didn't and I totally understand the utter shock, denial, terror etc. the good news is that it passes and I am now beyond grateful that we didn't suffer through TTC. Try and enjoy your lovely lovely secret and look forward to every stage as it comes.

Congrats - this is the biggest rollercoaster ride you will ever experience. The best highs, the worst lows. I think blind panic is a pretty reasonable response. Try not to feel guilty - there's plenty of time for that in the years to come :)

Thank you so much - all of you. Just getting home from work and reading your reassuring comments and words of congratulations has made me feel a whole lot more positive about this crazy rollercoaster I've boarded! So comforting to know that other people have felt such shock/fear even when they wanted to get pregnant.

Have made an appointment to see my GP this week, so hopefully will feel a bit more real after that (it's weird keeping such momentous news from my best mates, so once I've told someone other than DH, hope it will feel more real...).

Holls2000 - you must just be a few weeks in front of me then, are you feeling sick yet? I feel pretty knackered but can't tell if that's the PG or the post-honeymoon jet lag

x

Nope no sickness yet - the odd bit of gagging but not thrown up yet. Very bloated and tired at the moment and today started with aching back!!! Hope all goes well xx

congratulations on your honeymoon pregnancy! I had wanted a baby for years, and a few weeks after getting my BFP I was suddenly overcome with a terrible panic and fear about what i had done to my life. It lasted until the second trimester, so was clearly in many ways hormonal. But also in some ways rational - i mean, it's true, life does change for ever. But, it turns out, for the better!!! My son is the best thing that could ever have happened to me and DH, he is the absolute heart of our family and worth all the early confusion and fear. Good luck, it's the best thing you'll ever do!!

adding my congrats as well. we'd only been trying a couple of months, found out on christmas day and when i did the test, felt somewhere between oh shit and excited.. despite having consciously made a decision to TTC I think everyone must have a 'OMG' moment when that test comes up positive.. still a bit of whirl at the mo though (am 8 nearly 9 weeks preggers).. but got booking appt with midwife in couple of days so may start sinking in then! :-)

Do start to think about planning childcare,and return to work etc
Research nurseries online,word of mouth,look into viewings and waiting lists etc

I tried to get pregnant for 3 years, and then finally succeeded after IVF. And I still felt terrified all through pregnancy, feeling out of control and wondering if I'd done the right thing! That wore off when the baby was about 6 months old

If you don't have a bit of a panic when you see the two lines, I don't think you are really understanding the full implications of what you've just done. It makes you completely normal!

Congratulations, and remember that you have 9 more months to get used to the idea.

BTW, I'm 9 weeks pregnant again, and it still doesn't feel real to me yet (despite the pukey feelings). The good news? I'm not panicking this time

Congratulations!
I totally understand how you feel. Going from saying "oh it would be great to have kids" to POAS and finding out your pregnant, well its miles apart! As much as you'd like to have a baby, you never think of the consequences only about the cuteness :)
I've been with DP for almost 8 years, and we only had the baby talk last year and I got pregnant on the first time that didn't we use condoms (and yes, just like you I thought, I'm in my 30s it's bound to take us longer to conceive).
At 37 weeks, I can now see the consequences at work and the beginning of the consequences in my body, but to be honest all I can think of is the cuteness!
You'll get there soon too