MIL at scan?

[Onlymydogunderstandsme]

My DP didn't think he was going to be able to make it to our 20 week scan so I asked my sister if she would come with me (she is also my back up birth partner if DP can't be there as he's in the forces and due to be in Afghanistan), when MIL found out my sister was coming to the scan she then said she would come too (without being invited). I wasn't to haPpy about it as she is a very over emotional person and wouldn't be the right person to offer support if it was needed if anything was found at the scan but went along with it! DP can now make the scan, my sister said straight away she wouldn't come still as it was something for my partner and me, have said to MIL that DP can now make it but she's adament she still wants to come! I'm annoyed she can't see that really it's something special for DP and I to share but she's oblivious!! It's been difficult as she was very weird about the pregnancy to start with, we have been together for over 6 years yet she insinuated I had trapped my DP into something he didn't want which really hurt! All of a sudden she now says she has "accepted" it is starting to feel happy and excited!! Part of me thinks maybe I'm being harsh not wanting her there and it is nice she is excited but part of me just feels she's gatecrashing a special time and it's dependent on her mood to how involved she wants to be!! I also think the only reason she said she would come is because my sister was coming so she thought it was her right to be there too!

Sorry for the long post/rant, just had to get it off my chest and find out if I'm being unfair!!

Thank goodness OP that you have managed to sort this. Word of warning though, your MIL sounds like she will be very interfering when baby is here so make sure you are ready for her!

I sympathise. My MIL is exactly the same and loves to muscle in on special events in my life (my 30th Birthday too). It's difficult because I don't like to cause her any upset and then in turn it upsets my husband too. I have started to say 'no' more now and I think this is the best policy as it could get out of hand when the baby arrives. I suggest you have a quiet word with your partner so he is aware of the situation and maybe he could tactfully speak to his mother.

Like everyone else said tell her no. If she won't accept that as answer put it to her another way, would she like you at one of her medical appointments? Bet she say no to that one. But like others have suggested make her feel involved by going to hers straight after a scan with a picture.

OMG I feel like I'm reading my own post iv been with my partner 7 years - he's also in the forces and isn't sure if he'l be at the birth, MIL said I trapped him when I got pregnant and now wants to be all involved even when Shes not welcome! I think this is your DPs job to tell her not yours. He can say it nicely at first, and tell her that you want it just u and there will be plenty of other opportunities for her to get involved! If she keeps going on he'l just have to stand up to her and say no - she'l get over it - she has to she's got a grandchild on the way - u win

I honestly don't think you are being unreasonable it's not a family day out! You have to get her sorted now otherwise she'l be a nightmare come the birth - well that's what my mum days to me when I call her moaning about my MIL lol

Ok just seen your more recent post - glad u sorted it out xx