I can't shift the feeling something is going to go wrong :(

[goingmadtrying]

I'm currently 10+6 with identical twins, I had bleeding for the first 4 weeks on and off had 2 scans and no reason for bleeding could be determined, Had my first consultant appointment on Tuesday all was ok, she did go through all the possible problems, but re-assured me that measurements were good and no problems at the moment. I had had a week of no bleeding until the day of the appointment, and then since then have had bleeding, only when going for a number 2 (sorry tmi) doesn't matter whether loose or constipated so don't think it can be from straining. My tummy is getting bigger and I swear I felt some movement the other night in bed, only little popping sensation but definitely there :). Why can I not shake this negative feeling, I've had 2 healthy pregnancies but this one seems so much more high risk :(. Had to make a decision whether to have the nt scan this week, which we decided against as wouldn't want to start the process, only to not finish it. I just really feel like these babies won't be born, its making me so sad :(

have you tried posting on any of the twins threads? I'm sure there will be lots of people there with good advice. There is someone on my ante natal no brooking thread who is pg with twins and I think what you are feeling is quite natural, if extremely scary. Maybe call your EPU or widwife if you are scared. Its what they are there for. Good luck and I really hope the bleeding stops. But come to think of it I'm sure I've read bleeding when going to the loo is quite common too. Sorry I can't be more help.

I have identical twin girls, I think a lot of people feel as you do, twin pregnancy or not. I just tried to look after myself as much as possible, with identical twins from 16 weeks you will be scanned every two weeks so you do have regular reassurance. Sorry on my phone so can't type properly but didn't want your post to go unanswered. In antenatal, there is a twins thread, lots of other people with the same concerns as you, also post in multiples with any questions, we are a helpful bunch

Thank you ladies :) I just wish I could relax and enjoy it.

Don't feel ready to go onto the antenatal threads,mainly because I think something will go wrong .

I am going to be scanned every 2 weeks from now, so will see the consultant again on 24th Jan, so not long till I see them again, it re-assures me if only for a couple of days :)

Thank you again, it really does help to know I'm not alone :(

I can understand how you are feeling, despite not having twins! I had two children then a very early m/c after which I concieved again immediately. I had a couple of minor scares in the first weeks and spent most of the time after than convinced it was all going to go wrong.

I had a scan at 8 weeks that was ok, but still felt totally that the pregnancy was not right. By the time I reached the 14 week scan, I was certain it was a missed miscarriage. I was ready to deal with the bad news, I was certain it was all over. I was truely shocked to see the baby ok. I was shaking with the shock afterwards for an hour.

Unfortunately I still did not feel right. I did not "connect" with the pregnancy, even at the 20 week scan I was feeling like something was not right. Once the 20 week scan was done I booked a 3d scan to take my dh and other children to go to. It helped to know the gender, and after that point I started to force myself to think about the baby actually arriving and being ok. I had contractions at 33weeks and was told the baby was arriving early, and was given all the SCBU information etc. However the baby decided to stay put afterall and did not arrive until 39weeks. It was only in those last few weeks that I actually started to believe that I might have a baby arriving. He is now a strapping 3 year old, and I can still vividly remember those thoughts through his pregnnacy.

I am currenly 8 weeks pregnant again, but having had 10 miscarriages since that last successful pregnancy, you can I am sure understand that I can relate totally to your feeling that something is going to go wrong. To the extent that I have not even been to gp to admit to this pregnancy yet. I think that it is a protective mechanism, to try to reduce the pain if something does go wrong. But right now both you and I need to keep positive one day at a time. Don't think about weeks down the road and things going wrong.

Try to focus on today and that today things are ok. I missed out on enjoying my last ds' pregnancy due to unfounded fear, I don't want that to happen again. I would hate for you to feel the same about your pregnancy when (I will not say if at this point!) you have your wonderful two babies in your arms later in the year. Can you take one day at a time with me? Today we are pregnant.

galwaygal I remember you from LissieLous Hut I think? Good luck with this pg. And what a lovely heartfelt post. I wish you all the very best x

Thank you for sharing your so personal story with me, I am sorry for your losses, it made me have a little cry and I feel a little stupid as I have not been anywhere as much pain as you and your family :(. That said I love your thought process about enjoying today and being pregnant, I will certainly try to do that with you, congratulations on your pregnancy :). I'm hoping that it gets easier as I so want to enjoy things, but will remain realistic and take one day at a time.

I want to thank you goingmadtrying for your posting today. Having replied, I thought about the fact that I am avoiding going for a scan, and so plucked up the courage and booked a private scan for next thursday. I have been having major cramps and back pain, so either things are going well and growing pains or it is the start of the end, but having posted my story it reminded me to keep up my positive mantra of "today I am pregnant" and just keep with that. I might be a quivering wreck on thursday, but I am going to focus on today only.

Ninja - yep I am one of lissie's many friends!

Hi I'm not having twins and I am 10+2 and still having bleeds and terrible cramps have had 2 scans and no explanation as to what the bleeds are not even any well it could be this or that :( so I'm constantly worrying. The only thing that's keeping me positive is I have a day where I'm sick. I was told to go back after 10days (29th Dec) if bleeds was still happening but cannot face going for another scan as they never no what's going on anyway. X

galwaygal I'm so pleased that you have booked your scan and will be sending you lots of positive vibes for Thursday :) just writing things down sometimes helps, no one in rl really understands my worries, and yesterday was a particularly low day :(..........., today is a new day and I am still pregnant with the miracle that is twins :)

thank you to everyone that has shared their stories with me, it gives me comfort that I am not alone, and we can hand hold together, and as Galway says we have beautiful babies in our arms in the summer months :)

I am so grateful for this thread and so so impressed by both OP and galwaygirl's openness and bravery after and at what must be very worrying times in your lives and pregnancies. Thank you for giving me somewhere to put my thoughts into words!

I had two miscarriages last year (no DC yet) and BFP yesterday (hurray!) but feel very similar to you - convinced it will all go pear shaped very soon. I can't decide whether to go for a scan or not early in the pregnancy as I have this stupid fear that actually doing anything about being pregnant will cause a miscarriage. So far I have started on pregnancy vitamins and of course told my (wonderful) DH but that is it.

galwaygirl is absolutely right - one day at a time and today we are pregnant.

galway i will be thinking of you tomorrow please let us know how you get on

funchum how you doing?? Hope things are going well

today i am 11+3 and still pregnant :)

excellent news going I'm very glad to hear it. And fingers crossed for galway for tomorrow.

How did it go galway been thinking of you today :)

Thank you for thinking of me, I wish I could be here with good news, unfortunately not. At 9w preg, sac measures 7w1d, baby only 6w4d no heartbeat. Large clot beside sac. I am relieved to actually know, I wanted a definitive answer as failed or successful pregnancy. This result does not leave me in doubt. I am waiting for the natural course of things to occur. Going privately for the scan meant that it was a good experience rather than adding in the stress of the hospital waiting rooms and doctors wanting to immedately to say how to deal with it all. I have time over the next few days to process it, and then I hope the miscarriage will occur naturally in its own time.

Goingmadtrying - I have so much hope for your pregnancy, I am so happy that you are taking it each day.

Oh galway i am so truly truly sorry :( that is such sad news

I was so hopeful of good news for you, after you gave me so much hope and taught me a wonderful lesson. i hope you have lots of support around you, and take each day one at a time. Much love to you and your family, take care xx

galwaygirl I'm so so sorry for your loss. Hang on in there and be really really kind to yourself and your partner.

I'm around 6 weeks today and still pg as far as I know - no massive symptoms but enough to stop me stressing too much (though I did decide it was all going wrong the other night because I wasn't tired!) Saturday is 6+2 which is when the last two mc's happened so am just focusing on getting through the next few days without too much terror.

funchum so lovely to hear that things are going well so far, ill be keeping my fingers crossed for you until you get to 12 weeks this:) im currently 12+6 and am pregnant today, remember what galway said take each day at a time and today we are pregnant :)i had a scan on Tuesday and both twins are growing well and were moving around, am quite crampy today but will stay hopeful.

galway if you do look back at the thread i have been thinking about you and hope you have been well, and getting lots of hugs and support :(

hey i've experianced the feeling that something isn't right all i would advice is to trust what your body says. when i was about 15 to 20 weeks i had a dream where i gave birth and after my baby was out of me thats when the waters broke it happened exactly like that at 26 weeks. he was a still born so trust what your body is telling you
the other thing you can do is make a note of the dreams you get and see if they are trying to tell you something. also don't be afraid to tell your midwife anything even if it sounds silly.
also one peice of advice from personal experiance, i don't know if you have a partner, but if you get this thoughts in your head that something is wrong and it wont go away if you tell your partner and he says its nothing to worry about but you still feel that something is wrong ignore what he says and ring someone who will listen to you. After all the man isn't in your body! they don't know exactly what is going on in there. before i knew for deffinate that my baby was dead the weekend before i didn't feel the usual kicks and movement. so trust your self
i also know that with twins one can die and the other can stay alive. It happened to my mother in law with my husbands sister.

good look to you

Thanks goingmad, I am through the majority of today and while I still won't be completely happy until I have my baby in my arms, I feel like once I get to 7 weeks we are into a whole new world where I get to be pg for more than 2 weeks. I'm glad to hear your pregnancy is going well (twins! Nice work!) And I do keep thinking "today I'm pregnant." It really helps. Galwaygirl you are a woe woman and I'm thinking of you and yours.

*wise woman