Stress/unhappy levels when pregnant, effects on baby?

[Dozeyland]

Under stress at the moment due to personal family issues, and also DD hasnt been her happy self :(

Feeling pretty low at the moment and just hope it doesnt have bad effects on DC.

please advise

No advice. It's def meant to have an effect on baby. I'm worried too as the first 7 months of my pregnancy were really stressful so I feel your pain. I guess there's nothing we can do apart from trying to relax!

hi, i've had lots of stress in this pregnancy was really ill then got SPD plus my grandfather has cancer and dementia which only started when i fell pregnant, had been worried it would effect the baby but it doesn't seem to have, he's a good size and was at hospital the other night has a great heartbeat.

Obviously stress isn't good for anyone but thats life i wouldn't worry about it to much will only stress you more.

i was very stressed/depressed when pregnant last time and worried about this too. then i read something the other day about research that found it didn't matter so long as the mother's mood stayed the same during and after pregnancy, so if they were stressed in pregnancy and stayed stressed after the baby arrived then baby was fine. if mother went from happy in pregnancy to stressed/depressed then it affected baby. i can't remember the exact details or where i read it but it made me feel a bit better! my baby is nearly 12months now and very happy so it doesn't seem to have affected him!

I was very very stressed in pregnancy. I was also very depressed to the point where I felt suicidal. I kept my feelings hidden so didn't get any help/treatment. I think it has affected my DD. She was a very agitated baby, very difficult to bf, arms and legs flailing everywhere all the time. As a young child she was very highly strung, going from calm to screaming in a flash. Very impatient. At school she has difficulty concentrating.

She is now 8 and seems to be a bit better. But compared to my DS with whom I had the most chilled and stress free pregnancy, she is still very highly strung. I suspect she may have a very mild form of ADHD. DS otoh has superb concentration, is very chilled and relaxed and content. I don't think it's a coincidence, I think they were affected by my stress levels during pregnancy.

I also suffered severe PND after DD's birth which I feel sure contributed to highly strung nature.

I am far more mentally and emotionally healthy now, and I can see the difference in my DD especially. She is calmer and her concentration seems to be improving.

Sorry if my story makes you feel more worried, but it's the truth which is always better to hear imho.

take as good care of yourself as you can manage

some things can't be helped

i had a sudden bereavement when pg with dc2; i think this is why he was born early

having said that, he is the happiest, most content person i have ever known; he is perfectly delighted to be wherever he happen to be, doing whatever he is doing

the enormity of my grief did not impact on his sunny nature one bit

don't beat yourself up, feel what you feel, shield your dd from it as best as you can manage. are people around you supporting you at all i hope?

my pg with dd on the other hand was serene and blissful

she is amazing, and the light of my life, but characteristically does not have her brother's happy-go-lucky attitude

i don't think anything is written in stone, your baby will be who s/he is.

congratulations on your pregnancy, and best for the birth

I was stressed with both my pregnancies and suffered severe PND with both requiring hospitalisation. Both my babies were a good weight fed well and slept brilliantly. Luckily there were no effects and they still are very relaxed happy boys. I hope that you are feeling better soon and good luck with your pregnancy.

My ds is 18 weeks and I was very down when pg due to circumstances he is a happy little boy and has given me so much joy.

DS1 is 4 and i was incredibly stressed and had AD, was practically hysterical for the last 3 months, when he was born everyone thought there was something wrong with him because he was so so quite and calm, i mean a truely laid back baby i was quite relieved!
I don't think you should worry to much OP, unless the stress is giving you high BP or affecting your Mental health then i think all you need is a little time each day to think positively.
I used to do this during or after my nightly shower, i would look in the mirror and tell myself all the good things about to happen, how much my baby would be loved, and that certain things i couldn't control would happen as they happen, coupled with some breathing exercises it would get me off to sleep in a semi peacful state.

So sorry to hear things are tough for you.

I think the other posters are exactly right when they say that you must be good to yourself.

I work in a really stressful environment and spent my last pregnancy swinging between rage and deep upset, and was not able to sleep or think of anything but work when I got home. Not the same as family problems though as I always had the choice to walk away if I really, really needed to.

My son is happy and calm and shows no sign of my emotional pregnancy......so far !!

Please look after yourself though and maybe try to resolve the issues or get some space from them if you can. Your pregnancy is special for you and your partner and anyone that tries to make things hard for you at this time is not worth your time.

I had a similar experience to whensteaready - awful PND during first pg, ended up suicidal in hosp at 23wks and spent the rest of it, and the first 18mths of DDs life on high dose anti depressants. Amazingly, she was a totally chilled out baby and seems to have suffered no ill effect of all the stress hormones at all (she was, however, born at 32 weeks).

What will be will be and you can't control your emotions. It will either effect the baby or it won't, you won't know what kind of person they are until they are born and they would probably would have had that personality anyway.

Try not to beat yourself up! x

My DP is currently serving time for a very tragic RTA. complete accident, and have posted on here before so theres more about that on here...

Our lives have been turned upside down since that accident, and even more since DP went away nearly 7 weeks ago. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on. we are an amazingly strong union and we will get through this. but day-to-day its very emotionally hard. especially when the accident was a complete accident

He is the most caring, loving and amazing man I have ever met, and the most doting father to our DD (14.5m)

Hopefully he should be released on home curfew the day before DC2 is born. but not sure.

I try to keep happy for DD's sake, keeping busy with playgroups, visiting family (have also been great and supportive) its just the initial thought that i eat alone, sleep alone, dont have my soulmate with me :(

wow Dozey, that's not what i was expecting at all when you said personal issues . babble away, i have been through a tough few weeks and feel so much better just talking/writing about it.
i hope everything goes well with the pregnancy and your DP's home curfew.

Thank you. :)

How awful for you - and him. The good thing is it's temporary. Try to focus on the future, focus on when he's coming out, how things will be then. Are there any NCT groups near you to join?

It may sound weird but when I was alone for a while I realised that my cat was extremely good company.

I am looking into pregnancy pilates/yoga to help me, and we attend playgroups. but not NCT yet....

My DD is amazing company obviously. and Mumsnet when she's in bed, or a book (currently reading "The second baby survival guide, how to stay calm & enjoy life with a new baby & toddler") It's good so far!

I suffered from depression during pg with DD - was suicidal abd on ADs from 12 weeks until she was about 18 months. She is now 6 and generally much more chilled than her older brother, who can find life more difficult. I think the stress will have more of an effect on you and worrying how the stress might affect your DC2 is probably unlikely to improve your stress levels.

DDs whole pregnancy and birth much easier than DSs thinking about it - he was born 11 days early after a few weeks in and out of hospital due to Pre eclampsia and birth was really not great. DD born a few days late and great experience.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes all right and that your DH is back with you before DC2 is born.

I went through a lot in my pregnancy, death of someone close to me, lost my job and had a few major hyperventilating panic attacks. My baby was also at risk of health problems. But, he was born fine and dandy and is now a happy bouncing 4 month old. The stress is more likely to affect you, so try take things a bit easier. You're pregnant, you're allowed to!