Really wanted baby but feeling really blue???

[kellzi]

please say i am not alone, it must just be nerves i think, but keep thinking am i doing the right thing?? i know bit late i hear you say, is this normal??

Very normal. First baby (unplanned) I had utter panic attacks about my changing life but otherwise fine. Second baby (now 11 days) VERY wanted 4 years after DD. Actually went to GP as had horrible dark suicidal thoughts etc. Found the pregnancy very tough indeed. It's called antenatal depression (as opposed to post) and is very common. There's lots of support there for you, you won't be judged so seek some help. Also go for a walk, exercise was the last thing I felt like but definitely made me feel better.

Congratulations!!!!

thank you Senorita, it will pass i am sure also having tough time at work and home

Hi, we desperately wanted dc and it took us years to conceive, and several mc's. When I did get pg with dd I was really happy, but that soon changed. At 12 week scan everything.was fine, but internally I freaked out, I started looking at abortion as I couldn't deal with being pregnant. The first time my baby moved I felt sick and just wanted her out of me. By 25 weeks there were a few problems and I was in and out of hospital, i hated dd. I cried when she moved, i cried because i couldnt sleep how i wanted, I really resented her. I properly hated her l. I couldnt carry knives accross the kitchen as i would start to think - if i just stabbed my stomach it would all be over. I couldn't tell anyone how i felt as I was so scared, scared they would take the baby away and dh was desperate for a child, i didnt want to lose him and scared of what people would think of me.

At around the 35 week mark, I broke down and posted on here, i accidentally left the thread open and dh read it (tbh I'm not sure how much of an accident it was, my head was just so messed up and I needed help). I didn't go and see a dr in the end, but spoke it all through with dh and a friend that had serious pnd. I had no idea how common it was, I just thought there was a problem with me.

When dd was born I felt an instant rush of love for her, I wouldn't let anyone else hold her as i felt so guilty about how i felt about her. I needed to prove to everyone i could be a good mum, and tbh I think there was a touch of pnd, but time and talking things through helped alot.

Almost 15 months on I have the most amazing little girl who I adore and couldn't imagine my life without. We have good days and bad days but thats normal. I'm also 36+6 with dc2 and this pregnancy has been different in every way.

Just being honest and open this time around has helped. I would urge you to speak to your Dr or mw as they have seen and delt with this before. It will get better, pregnancy really does end!

thank you addict, and good luck with dc2 x

Kellzi, this is also a very much wanted (if surprise) baby and I have moments of - what the HELL do we think we're doing?! I had a bit of a freak out around 22w when it struck me that there was nothing I could do but eventually give birth to this baby, there was no way to 'change my mind' so to speak, not that I actually wanted to... I'm due in 4 days and I'm still occasionally thinking, err, not sure about this now...

Can I ask how your pg is going? In my case I think a lot of my 'blues' about this whole thing is that I'm really not enjoying being pg and tend to think that I am 'rubbish' at it (hypermesis, and hormonal as hell). That could really be affecting your mood.

Like the others say it is normal to be freaked out, and of course with all the hormones coursing through your system it is also normal to feel different from usual. Please keep being honest about how you feel and posting places like here so that you can get the support of other mums to be. You're really not alone!

Kellzi I have 3 DCs. In 1st pregnancy I was so scared about the birth - really wanted the baby, knew I wanted to be a mum, but spent a lot of time panicking about giving birth, wondering if was really ready for my life to change etc etc. All normal and turned out fine apart from the shock of being a parent for the first time. 2nd pregnancy was fantastic - I have never felt better. 3rd pregnancy I felt very different - we had ummed and ahhhed about a 3rd for ages. Deep down I knew I really really wanted a 3rd child and I was beside myself with excitement when we started trying for no.3. Then I got pregnant and from shortly after I found out until about 20 weeks I felt lower than I've ever felt in my life. I felt physically crap, mentally crap, couldn't get remotely excited about being pregnant or the thought of having another baby, despite being completely in love with the 2 I'd had - it was totally irrational! I had no sex drive, took no pleasure in anything, really questioned what we'd done. My lovely independent midwife told me it was probably pre-natal depression - I'd never heard of it and she said it's not often talked about but it's common. It did lift, as I said, around 20 weeks. I have no idea where it came from, it was very unsettling to say the least - all I knew was that it would end at some point, it was all related to hormones and apprehension, and that really kept me going. Gave me a whole new outlook on people who suffer from regular depression. I hope it's the same for you but if you feel overwhelmed please talk to someone... pregnancy is the strangest business!

Think it's normal Kellzi. :)

I'm on my second pregnancy and have had severe endometriosis. Wasn't expecting to be able to get pregnant either time. I've just been incredibly lucky.

Despite all the trying for babies and tears when I got my period, I seem to spend the first trimester and half of the second feeling as if I've made a mistake, can't cope, not cut out to be a perfect mum like everyone else seems to be....

Have adored my son since seeing him though!!

Can you pin down specifically why you feel blue? Do you not want your life to change / feel squeamish about pregnancy/ feel too much pressure or just simply feeling blue?