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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

2nd time mum - do I need a 'plan'?!

11 replies

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 10/01/2012 12:07

I'm due with DC2 in May, DD will be 22months then. Chatting to some friends from my old NCT group yesterday (none of whom have a DC2 yet), they asked if I have a 'plan' for when the new baby arrives (ie part time daycare etc for DD). Do I need one? I was just hoping to muddle along :)

Please come tell me your happy no-plan experiences :o

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Ruthchan · 10/01/2012 13:49

I didn't have any plan at all.
'Muddling along' describes my experience quite well.

charkey · 10/01/2012 14:11

Just bumping your thread as very interested in the answer!

Latsia · 10/01/2012 14:23

Plan? Plan? What is this 'plan'?!

I guess the types of things you could give some thought to are whether you are planning on starting DD at preschool or anything soon (adv is that you'll have a break, DD will have some fun and you'll get to spend some time with DC2). I have both DC 24/7 and it's fine but if we could afford it I would definitely send DC1 to preschool for a couple of half day sessions. If you are planning that soon then best to settle her in before DC2 comes along so that she doesn't associate the change with DC2's arrival.

I'd say the same goes for any type of change you might be planning, sleeping, eating etc. Just get as much in place beforehand as possible.

Oh and remove all swallowable toys pre DC2's arrival. Much easier than watching like a hawk and snatching away!!!

Original poster

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 10/01/2012 14:55

We weren't planning on sending DD to nursery until much later, eg when she's 3 or thereabouts.
I'm the first of my friends to be having DC2 so I have no-one close by to show me how it's done

Do I just pop the baby in a sling and carry on DD's routines etc as per normal? Sounds so straightforward but I have a teeny tiny inkling it ain't

OP posts:

HonkSquonkFronk · 10/01/2012 15:19

I didn't have a plan, we just got on with it. Some friends were surprised that I didn't start sending DD1 to nursery a few days a week, but I didn't want her to feel like she was being packed off because the new baby had arrived. Plus, she was only 16 months so too early for preschool and nurseries are pretty expensive.

We muddled through the first few months and we soon found our feet. I wish we had some family nearby, being able to have some support would have been nice, but we managed without, its totally do-able. I did find myself quite of friends who had their mum near to take the older one occasionally. In fact, I'm still a bit envious of that!

SausageSmuggler · 10/01/2012 16:01

I think it's very hard to have a 'plan' because you don't know what the baby is going to be like i.e. they could be a breeze and content most of the time or they could scream for 20 hours a day. You just don't know. My DS already goes to nursery twice a week so that will make life a bit easier when DD comes along but I think we're just going to muddle through too. I've accepted this but I don't like it I like control and organisation and rather rudely, children don't realise this.

Clandy · 10/01/2012 19:37

I don't really have a plan other than to take dd out of nursery due to costar the fact that I know I wouldn't send her as I I've to have her around! Apart from that the only plan we have in place is to buy her a new bed so new baby can have the coy and we are doing that soon despite dc2 nothing due til July. The rest will be muddling on through and seeing what happens.

NeedlesCuties · 10/01/2012 20:04

I'm due with DC2 when DS will be 2 and a half. Had sort of half thought about putting DS in nursery, but think the changes at home will know enough for him without adding the stress of nursery to that.

My plan is to keep going to toddler groups each weekday morning as I currently do - DS will be able to play and I'll be able to supervise him, but also be able to sit on my bum breastfeeding DC2 :)

HonkSquonkFronk · 11/01/2012 14:33

Needles My plan is to keep going to toddler groups each weekday morning as I currently do - DS will be able to play and I'll be able to supervise him, but also be able to sit on my bum breastfeeding DC2

Yes, thats pretty much what I did, I had about 3 days a week, sometimes 4, where I had a toddler group to go to. If we'd had a bad night or whatever I just stayed in, but otherwise it was great to get out and really important for DC1 to get the play time.

I would sit BFeeding and then there was usually a mum who was quite eager to have a newborn cuddle with DD2 so I took the opportunity to do the craft table activity or something with DD1 so she got some 1-to-1 mummy time. It worked out really well and there was usually a line of mums-of-three-year-olds wanting to hold D2 for me, she was quite in demand!

NeedlesCuties · 11/01/2012 16:33

honk glad my plan has also been your plan, and I'm glad it worked for you :) Here's hoping it works for me too when August comes!

Angel786 · 11/01/2012 16:55

I haven't got a well thought out plan but as dd (13 mth) is already in nursery while I work I think I'll keep her in but only a day or two a week as she enjoys it and I don't want to unsettle her, also it'll give me a chance to sleep hopefully.

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