Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Unknown

21 replies

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 20:15

Hi All

Just looking for a bit of advice. Gorgeous husband desperately wanted to go skiing this year, but didn't have enough annual leave. He's just found out that annual leave year is march to march, rather than April to April and now has the option of going away for the week of the 5th march with the boys. I'm due on the 5th of April with DS2.

He's lovely, and I know he really wants to go. He wants the ok from me, obviously, and though i think itll be fine now, I'm not sure how I'll feel about it when I'm 36 weeks pregnant!

I'm working until the 7th of march, but can probably ask my mum to hel

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rubyslippers · 09/01/2012 20:19

Its a month to the birth if you give birth at 40 weeks

You may go over That too

How easy isn't for him to fly back if you went into labour early?

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 20:20

Agghhh! That wasn't supposed to happen...

Get my mum to help out in the morning - DH normally does the CM drop off as I leave for work at 7am. Then it'll just be a case of coping with being heavily pregnant with a 23 month old.

I got quite home orientated last pregnancy, and didn't like to be too far away. DS came on due date, home birth, hypnobirthing and DH was a massive part of making it a wonderful experience and would worry that DS2 might come early. But then think that's stupid!

WWYD?

OP posts:

blueskydrinking · 09/01/2012 20:21

Equally, baby might come early.... A surprising number of women in my antenatal group had early babies for one reason or another.

How long does he want to go for?

blueskydrinking · 09/01/2012 20:22

AND coping by yourself with a 23 month old... I wouldn't want him to go but maybe I'm just a grouch. It doesn't seem fair, somehow.

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 20:27

It wouldn't make sense for him to go for anything less than a week really!

My 1st labour was pretty quick too, so there'd be absolutely no chance of him making it home from Austria!

Want to just relax and say, sure, go - have fun, but worry that I might freak out as we get closer to the time!

OP posts:

BlastOff · 09/01/2012 20:29

I found being heavily pregnant and looking after 2.5 yo ds really hard. Really really hard. Much worse than having a newborn and a toddler. It would be that that was the sticking point for me. But I also wouldn't want him out of the country tbh.

Dh cancelled all work things over 3 hours away (didn't ask him to) as labour can be (and was) much faster second time. Think my labour was 3 & 3/4 hours.

I wouldn't want to 'tell' Dh anything, but I don't think I'd be happy in your position and would perhaps explain why I wasn't.

If he doesn't go, you will of course give birth at 42 weeks though...

BlastOff · 09/01/2012 20:30

Meant to say cancelled things from 36 weeks onwards.

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 20:32

Not worried about the fair really - I hate skiing and wouldn't want to go anyway!

He really deserves a good time, and I'll get my week away next year and he'll have 2 smalls to look after...

Just want to be realistic as well, because I want to say yes, but might end up screaming NO because I'm pregnant and vulnerable about the whole not bring here thing.

But then again, it could easily be a business trip and then would have no choice...

OP posts:

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 20:35

There's absolutely no pressure from him btw. He's just said 'tis on the cards and what do I think. Hes erring on side of not going I think... It's me who wants to make it happen for him!

OP posts:

keely027 · 09/01/2012 20:42

well i am 34 weeks and i wont let husband drive more that 3 hours away at the moment. so many people go into early labour. you will need support for even the small things like shopping dr appointments/ midwife etc. it's suprising how much you rely on them :)

CheekyChoppers · 09/01/2012 21:05

If it was me I probably wouldn't want my husband to be that far away for that long tbh, and I'd rather my husband used the last bit if annual leave to spend with me instead!!

Saying that, when I'm 37 weeks I'm hopping down to Cardiff for the weekend leaving poor hubby at home

Broodzilla · 09/01/2012 21:21

Last time my waters broke without warning at 36 weeks. This time, I've made it to 37+4 so far. I was convinced this baby would be early too, but she seems to have other ideas. You just don't know... I suppose it partly comes down to whether you're happy with the possibility of giving birth alone?

But, as others have said, labour or no labour, there's the issue of your DC1. I'm really, really struggling to look after DS who is 27 months. Again, depends on you as an individual, but I'm struggling to keep up with him physically. If you're the kind of person who can run a marathon while heavily pregnant then that's not an issue... :)

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 21:38

Thankfully it's not the last bit of annual, it's the first bit of next year, and he has 30 days annual leave, so not short of it. He'll go next feb / march if doesn't go this year, so annual leave is 'ear-marked' anyway.

Really don't want to do it alone though. I don't think I could. It's a very private thing for me, and I really don't want anyone else there - not even my mum!

P.S. Damn phone keeps posting before I'm ready blush

OP posts:

feelingratheroverwhelmed · 09/01/2012 21:46

I'm very mean, and would have been annoyed at him even asking!

I was tired and sore towards the end of my last pg and totally relied on dh to help me with ds1. It's unlikely, but I would spend the whole week worried that I'd go into early labour.

You sound lovely, and you're a better woman than me! But I would say no.

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 21:55

He didn't ask. We went out for dinner t'other night and were just chatting, and he said about annual leave being march to march and that it was a shame that was just t

OP posts:

patsdeadfrank · 09/01/2012 22:00

to be fair and i just asked dp, i think the answer should be no here. if it was a friday to a sunday thing a couple of hours away then fine but a plane ride away for a week with in the last four wks of your pregnancy is a bit mad.
its a pretty vulnerable time, i am 34 wks and already dont like being away from the house for any length of time. any thing could happen in that wk. obviously it probably wont but he should be there regardless for your own peace of mind and with a 23 month old too its a bit unfair.
i get you dont want to come off as mean but when i asked dp he said' he already knows that he shouldnt go' . so maybe just explain about the possible anxiety and pre-eclampsia, early labour risks and he will do the right thing and say i was being silly and will go next time,

smk84 · 09/01/2012 22:01

I think there will be every other year after that he could go, and it's not worth the risk of missing such a special experience.

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 22:01

(seriously driving me mad now - bloody phone!)

Just too close to due date! Agreed with him,but been thinking about it since and it would be lovely for him to go. I become a bit of a rotter with a newborn (really don't deal with the lack of sleep so well), and he deserves a bit of a jolly...

Think it's likely that I probably can't be that generous to him. Really can't face even the slightest possibility that DS2 will come along when he's not here.

DS1 is a really easy little boy, but he does have his moments and my hips / back aren't great. But my mum is more than capable of helping out!

OP posts:

patsdeadfrank · 09/01/2012 22:01

ummmmmmmm so if he hasnt asked he is just hinting and hoping that you will say that he can go?

Original poster

LotusPalm · 09/01/2012 22:10

Thanks all for comments

Don't need to explain or anything to him - he's easy really! Have asked for details so that I can sit with it, and see how it really feels but is unlikely that I'll be calm about it as time gets closer. We both think that in theory it's fine, but in practice it will be a completely different.

He really isn't pressuring or anything, and have no problem saying no - I do very regularly! - but it's about me trying to see if my inclination to say yes is unrealistic. I'm only 28 weeks at the moment and coping ok, but a lot changes in 2 months in pregnancy and I don't remember that stage from last time that well. Also, never been that pregnant with a toddler!

Thanks again, and all comments really appreciated

OP posts:

patsdeadfrank · 09/01/2012 22:15

hey there is no harm in wanting to do something nice for your fella, but like you say its about being realistic and i think your both right when you say its about how close to your due date. its ok to be a more focused on your needs in that time as he should be too.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread