Going Crazy, mc in October 7 weeks again and think every aches is another mc

[kellzi]

hi all, back on here out of mc. but am going crazy , have bit of cramp and think here it comes, every time i go to the loo i am waiting to see something there that shouldn't be. i know it is normal to be anxious but cant help it.
feel like boobs not as sore(how long do they stay sore for?)
just need a bit of TLC x

I am in exactly the same boat. I had a missed mc in Oct and am now 6 weeks.
Boobs aren't sore at all, whereas last time they were painfully sore from day 1!!
I'm being really paranoid about the whole thing.
My wonderfully wise husband, however, is playing it cool. He rightfully, if not helpfully, points out that there is literally nothing I can do that I'm not already doing. I am taking my vitamins, eating the right food, resting, etc.

May not have halped but at least you're not alone!!

helped alot, see i didnt have sore boobs last time, so think i lost it really early, but i almost find myself thinking symptons have gone. i dont want to be negative but am just putting barriers around me just incase. i have felt great up until last night.just had slight cramping(prob implantaion) and things this is it again. i just really think this would be it for me should i lose this one, i dont know how some of these brave women go through it 4/5 times, i cant face it again, i really cant, sorry for being so down, cant speak to partner like this and have told no one else

Another one in the same boat sadly, only I've had some bleeding as well :(
Had missed miscarriage discovered at 13 week scan in November.
No symptoms to speak of this time beyond tiredness and a load of spots!

Was scanned today and gestational and yolk sac present and measuring 5.5 weeks which is spot on, just too early for a heartbeat. When i started bleeding was so sure it was all over already that I can't get my hopes up yet. Have to go back in 16 days for rescan, while I will be over-the-moon if there is a little bean with a heartbeat, I know I won't relax (a bit) until I'm well out of 1st trimester.

Like mikaela's wise Dh has pointed out, all we can do at this point is take the best care of ourselves, the rest is out of our hands.
Hopefully in a few months time we'll be cuddling newborns and laughing about how paranoid we felt in the early days :)

Iph, did you pay for a private scan or get reccomended on NHS? I'm wondering if I can convince my MW to scan as this is my 4th pregnancy (3 previous have mc at 4wks, 10wks and 13 wks).

I'm actually quite suprised at the lack of support I'm getting considering the number of mcs!

Like you kellzi I worry about not being able to get through it again, it is the hardest thing anyone can ever do but I can only hope it will all be worth it in the end.

hI IPH have been following your journey in sept 2011. so glad you have had some good news, i just need to chill out and relax, x

Hi just wanted to say that I too had an early mc in march last year, massive shock as have three children already and never had any problems before. Was devastated.

There really is nothing I can say to lessen your anxiety but try and take it day by day, I am now 27 weeks pregnant with DC4, and as professionals often remind us every pregnancy is different from symptoms to labour. Try not to let it over shadow your enjoyment, its completely natural that you are reluctant to celebrate and there was certainly a time of avoidance for me in the early stages of this pregnancy. But as MikaelaL's very wise husband has said there's not a lot else you can do,I certainly know that I had done nothing different than in my three previous pregnancies that resulted in three perfect children.

I hope it is some comfort to you to know that mc really is indiscriminate you have every chance that this pregnancy will progress as it should,and I sincerely hope that you will be able to relax into it and enjoy it as you progress further. I know how lonely and scared you can feel its hard feeling so negative for something so wanted.

It amazes me how little we are offered in the way of support after a mc and during subsequent pregnancies having experienced a loss. Do try and talk to your partner though, it really is something you need to share so that he can offer you some reassurance. No doubt he will already sense your apprehension and welcome the opportunity to support you.

I really hope you begin to gain in confidence and are able to look forward and focus on each day gone by,if you can push for an early scan to reassure you even better. Good luck x

Hi there

My sympathy for all of you. I posted virtually the identical thread about ten weeks ago because I was newly pg again after a mc at 6 weeks in August. I am now 16 weeks and still keeping my fingers crossed. I still worry, but the constant anxiety has gradually lessened. I think it remained at its most acute until I had my 12 week scan and then I have been feeling gradually more confident week by week. I am now hanging out waiting to feel the baby move and/or for the 20 week scan, whichever is sooner, but still worrying!

What I would say about symptoms though is try not to panic when they shift and change. I panicked and panicked in the first trimester because they had gone away, or something had returned, my boobs felt less sore, I had a pain in a different part of my abdomen etc etc. Whilst it will inevitably worry you I can say that they do change. Some weekends I felt completely normal and was convinced a mc was inevitable. Other days ligaments and muscles were obviously pinging and twanging and I was convinced it was sinister cramps. Then, at 10 weeks, I suddenly felt generally loads better and got very depressed!

Best of luck to you all and I will carry on keeping my fingers crossed for myself and for all of us xx

ps I found setting myself little goals was a good way to get my head round things. I did a lot of thinking: well if I can just get to 8 weeks that's better than last time / if I can just get to 12 weeks that's meant to be a good sign etc. That way you get a little boost as you reach each goal and then you can start worrying about the next one, whilst feeling a tiny bit more positive each time.

Also, don't worry about putting barriers around your feelings. I have done that and think it has saved my sanity. Now I am at the point I am having to tell people lots of them think I'm very weird because I am still cautious and not shouting it from the roof tops but, after the trauma of the mc, that is what is working for me.

There is no "right" way and you just have to roll with whatever works for you to help you cope. hugs

MMC this time last year, I am sitting here with DS1 aged 11 days on my lap. It's been a long year and I felt like I had been pregnant forever. I agree with goals. I booked a private 8.5 wk scan as that is when risks drop. Then 12 week scan, told people cautiously, bought a fetal heart monitor, started to feel movement at 16 week ( that helped), really enjoyed my 20 wk scan ( the others were too nerve wracking), but I am honestly only relaxed now he is out.

I feel for you and your worries. I admire your determination, especially after multple MC ( after three in my PCT you qualify for more attention so do push), I wish you speedy pregnancies with no dramas.

I had a MC in September at 5 weeks. I am now pregnant again (only 4 weeks though!) and am very worried that the same thing will happen again. Have very mixed emotions at the mo - part of me is anxious and dreading another possible MC, whereas the (bigger) part of me is extremely excited and hopeful!!

This is my first DC so dont really have any idea what to expect in terms of symptoms etc. so dont know if what Im feeling is 'normal' or not but like has been said before, there is nothing I can do about it. Im doing the right things in terms of eating well, resting when I can and taking folic acid - the rest nature will do.
I have been feeling a little bit sick and do feel tired, plus my nipples have 'grown' and are really sore???!!!
Have had some 'period pain' type feelings too though and just keep thinking that I could bleed any day now - though have also read that this is normal too.

Its all so tricky and such a waiting game - and Im very impatient!!
Want everything to be ok and to tell the world - though will wait for my 12 week scan to confirm that all is well and then the world will know!!

michaela I went down to the early pregnancy unit myself and explained that I had had some brown discharge which was exactly what I had had prior to miscarriage and I was terrified. They booked me in for a scan a couple of days later (Mon) which I was so grateful for, especially as the brown discharge turned to red blood on Saturday.

I think it is dreadful there is not more support or guidance for someone who has had multiple losses but in your position I would ask your GP for a referral to your EPU or even ring them or turn up yourself to see what their policy is.

I don't know about you but my MMC at 13 weeks was physically horrendous - I went into cervical shock, thought I was dying and had to have a blood transfusion in theatre
As devastated as we would be to miscarry again, I would really like it to be discovered early to at least, hopefully, avoid that trauma again :(

Sorry, I'm probably not helping put anyone's mind at ease here am I? Sorry kellzi! I'm trying to adopt the thought that I'm pregnant today and I'll worry about tomorrow when that comes around. :)

Thanks Iph, I may go and bug consult my GP (again).

I had a 'psyhotic episode' when in recovery after a D and C (or whatever it is they call it now). It took 3 nurses, 2 orderlies and my husband to restrain me while other patients in recovery looked on!
Everyone had to go for blood tests after as I bit one of them and pulled 2 canulas out of my hands spraying blood everywhere!!!

Horrific really isn't the word, not that I really remember it.

There is no way I'm going through that again. I am using the power of positive(ish) thought to ensure I don't end up there!