Worried about returning to France with newborn!! Need reassurance!

[Zozojones]

Hi All
I'm currently living in France(Brittany) and 4 months pregnant with my second child. I'm due early june by which time i'll be back in the UK, and have planned to have baby there, all being well, but have to return to France in august because of DH's job.
I'm registered with a doctor here as well as in the UK for scans etc. I'm having french lessons but feel extremely isolated not speaking the language, plus i'm stressing about the aftercare for baby when i return as it seems over here they don't have a support system like we do in the UK.
I worry about vaccinations and general welfare of baby, maybe i'm over reacting but after having DD in the UK i just don't know what to expect over here.
Anyone had similar experiences in France?
Would greatly appreciate any advice you may have.
Thanks in advance

Can't help, but maybe post this in living overseas too?

Will do. Thanks.

Hello zozo - I live in France and am bfing my 12 week old DS as I type so forgive dodgy spellings... I too felt a bit on my own wrt new baby having had mine in UK. Things slightly depend on whether you have a carte vitale or health insurance, I think. People tend to go to community health centers for vaccinations if they have the carte vitale or to a specialist Paediatrician if they have cover or are prepared to pay! They will also carry out physical checks of the baby. I haven't come a baby clinic as you would get on the nHS but then I haven't looked into it particularly as we are not eligible for carte vitale so nt much point.

The vaccines programme is slightly different here to the UK as the French schools demands are not the same.

Ummm. Not fantastically useful, that, I feel! We are in Paris so things may be different where you are. Are you in or near a biggish town?

Hi there
Thanks so much for the info. Thats really helpful. I'll look into all that, have just received carte vitale after numerous form filling and document sending. I'm just worried about not getting the right vaccinations done at the right time etc, as although we are currently living here it will only be for 2-3 years max and then we will return to UK, so need to have vaccinations to UK requirements.
We live near Lorient so its a biggish town, but no one near by speaks english and i've tried so hard to find a local group or community but with no luck.
Was hoping to find someone on here who may also have some pointer's on finding friends in france.

I live in France but I had both my babies here - I had been living in the country for 10 years before I had my children so was fluent in French and knew how things worked. Your situation is rather different and I'm not surprised that you are worried - doing things with a newborn in an unfamiliar place/language is not easy on you.

However let me reassure you that the health system in France is very good and you will be offered plenty of well baby checks and the vaccination schedule is similar to the UK for the main vaccines. Watch out - you may be offered Hep B which is considered unnecessary for children in the UK. If anything, the French tend to vaccinate more than the UK and some vaccines are mandatory for crèche/school entry.

All French born children are given a 'carnet de santé' (health book like the UK red book) when they are born - it is generally given to you in the maternity unit. You might want to ask your doctor about getting one of these (he may direct you to the local PMI which is like a well baby clinic). All visits and vaxes plus height, weigh, etc are recorded in this book.

What I found lacking in France was the sort of playgroup you get in the UK where mums can get out of the house with their babies and meet other mums. I was lucky enough to have a mum friend as a neighbour so we hung out together and moaned about lack of sleep, etc with each other.

You will not be visited by a health visitor the way you are in the UK. I was visited only once about 4 weeks after getting out of hospital and the HV was useless in answering my questions about feeding.

I found breastfeeding support to not be that great in general, although there was a volunteer group near me that was open to anyone.

I have found making friends in France OK but I was working and speaking French - saying that, my closest friend here is half German and speaks great English. I have found that I have made good friends over the years but people don't always 'get me'.

Mumsnet is a godsend, put it that way!!

There are quite a lot of MNers in France - I'm nowhere near you, but you may find there is someone not far who might want to meet up.

Do you post in 'living overseas'? I don't post there a great deal but if you put a thread in there about parenting in France you will soon get replies.

Don't hesitate to ask me anything and good luck with your pregnancy and birth x

It's the first time i've posted anything on here and am so happy with all your replies. It gives me hope and valuable information i would never have found otherwise.
Thank you in advance for your time and effort
I have posted in Living Overseas too.
In less than 2 hours i have found out things that i've been stressing over for months.
I no longer feel so alone and will undoubtably re read all the posts and be back with more questions
XX

I have never been to a community vaccination center We have carte vitale and go to the paediatrician, as all the parents I know do. You have to pay upfront and then get most of it reimboursed (automatically, to your bank account).

French healthcare is great. After birth you can have midwife visit you a few times plus you can do 'reeducation perinale' for free, should you want to.

Yes, more vaccinations than in the UK, but it's the same as in the US IIRC (DS born in the US) so we did that for DD with no ill effects. I thought it was useful to get Hep B done as you never know whether your child will need any surgery etc when little so I liked to get it out of the way.

Generally speaking there is absolutely no reason to worry about your baby's welfare. Actually, from just posting on MN, I have noticed how much more efficient the paeds are vs. the GPs in the UK (as in they tend to diagnose correctly and treat accordingly in the first visit as opposed to going to the GP 3 times only to be told 'it's nothing' or 'it's just a virus' before the right diagnosis is made).

My MIL keeps telling me that in France for the first ten days you can get someone to come into the house and do the cooking/ironing and help with the baby which the state pays for, and that the UK is like the third world because you get no at-home support post-birth. I haven't seen anyone above saying they had that level of support so maybe she is out of date??

One of the cultural differences I've noticed is that breast feeding is less common and appears to be less supported by the health system, I think partly as women tend to go back to work much earlier than in the UK and therefore it's practically more difficult to continue with it beyond the first few weeks.

From the French friends I know who've given birth in France recently the system does seem very good and they are very happy with it all. In fact they are HORRIFIED that in the UK we don't all tend to have an epidural as standard and are often actively discouraged from having one (a feeling I'm sure many UK mum's would share...). They are also APPALLED that we aren't routinely tested for toxoplasmosis every month (or in fact, at all)...ah, vive la difference...or not!

Good luck - sure you will be fine. Can you find a GP fluent in English to help manage the communication difficulties?

Your MIL is right, I think, but you need to ask for that in advance, I think. I forgot what this service is called, though, sorry. Ask when you go for your next midwife appointment, OP.

Yep, urine and toxo test every month. More scans, too, I think. Epidural no problem.

Oh, and I BF DD till she was 2.5 yo and paed was very happy about it. Also had good support offered at the hospital with BF (although didn't really need it as it all went well).

Thanks winnybella. Will a midwife automatically be assigned (even though i have baby in UK) for when i return to france or do i need to request a visit and if so is that through my doctor?

Just to be clear - when I refer to the PMI (centres de protection maternelle et infantile) it was not for vaccinations. We went there to do weigh ins on top of the routine ones you do with the doctor, because my baby was underweight due to health issues. The PMI near me is a walk in centre that has limited opening times but they are helpful if you have any worries.

We only use a paediatrician if the children are really ill - even when they were babies we just went to the GP. However I know this is not the norm in France and most people use paeds. We didn't bother because our local GP is very good with children and very experienced, also we would have to drive half an hour to the nearest paed.

I had fairly good experiences of birth in France but I found the whole thing very over medicalised. It is all lying on your back hooked up to monitors, loads of internals and giving birth in stirrups at my local hospital. I had to fight hard for a more active/naturalish type birth experience.

You can get a home help after birth in France but I was under the impression that it was only after baby number three.

Zoro, I don't think you will be automatically assigned a midwife. I didn't have much of a clue about the French health system until I had my babies. I was a bit surprised by the lack of referral type system. In France you look for a doctor/midwife/paediatrician/etc in the yellow pages and you just phone up and make an appointment. You do not need to be referred by your GP - you can however ask your GP if they can recommend anybody.

Glad this thread is helpful for you, MN is an absolutely brilliant resource. I find it a great support and also a great place to feel connected to home and chew the fat in English.

Amazing, so interesting. Thanks for even more great info. I feel armed and ready, will hit DH with it all as soon as he walks through the door as he has been as vague as me with regards to all this!!

You need to decide which hospital you'll be giving birth in, then go (with the statement from dr that you're pg/scans etc) and book it for midwife appts and birth. For afterbirth care at home, you fill out papers after birth and the midwife will come to check you're healing well etc. You'll probably get different midwife for each prenatal appt, depending on the schedule etc. Obv. you won't know which midwife will deliver your baby as again it'll depend on who's on the shift at the time you go into labour.

If you're planning on sending your DDC into creche, make sure you send appropriate forms when you're 6 months pg to CAF, otherwise forget about getting a place.

I've so far found it very hard to find anyone professional or otherwise in my area that speaks even basic english, i know i shouldn't expect it, but i am surprised that so little french speak any english. It's a very british holiday destination in the summer months but that doesn't seem to concern the locals. Maybe its just the area i live in? Hope i don't offend anyone with this

winny, what if i do have baby in UK and return to france? Where do i stand regarding MW/aftercare?

Yes, a lot of French don't speak good English, although I found it's getting slowly better.

Well, tbh, if you have baby in the UK, then you probably won't want to travel a week later to get the aftercare...might as well stay in the UK for the first few weeks...No clue whether you would be entitled to someone coming and cleaning etc if you give birth in the UK

But really, I found French hospitals/healthcare in general very good. There's nothing to worry about. It is a bit more medicalised, so yes, you'll probably be strapped to the monitor etc, but it's not like you need to give birth laying on your back iyswim. And epidural is easy to get (and free/reimboursed). I felt very safe throughout my pregnancy and birth.

Also, you'll stay in the hospital for 3-4 days after birth so you can recuperate and have support with BF etc (unlike in the UK when you get chucked out after few hours/one day).

ok food for thought. Huge thanks for info

Oh yy, endless toxoplasmosis testing! But useful to know about...re vaccinations as has already been said the French way is to be more thorough if anything. Thy are also obsessed with giving vitamins to bf babies - my paed insisted my ds needed eztra Vit K even tho he had the heel injection when he was four days old; advice later contradicted by a different paed - so prepare yourself for multiple glass vials and little droppers.

My French is hopeless but I have found it useful to compile a basic glossary of maternity/baby related words, from injection to breast feeding etc so not all at sea with dr receptionists etc...

Frisky- vit.K is given to all babies, nothing to do with BF. They do recommend you give BF babies vitamine drops-IIRC. Also iron for BF 6mo +, but as DD was eating very well (lots of meat), paed said it wasn't necessary.

I gave birth in Greece and then moved back to France at 5 weeks. My local PMI is great, they had a lactation specialist who helped with bf and a paediatrician who can also do vaccinations if you want. Our local GP surgery has one partner who specialises in children so we tend to go see her. She saw DD once every month for routine check-ups for the first 6 months and from now on she's booked in for the various on going vaccinations.

The Carnet de Sante is a very useful document where the docs record everything and it includes growth charts and some basic advice on developmental issues and feeding.

I was given vitamins for DD as well, K once a week and D every day. K I was told was the only vitamin that can't be found in bf - to be honest it might be crap but not much harm done by taking it (I stopped it as soon as I started solids). Vitamin D was recommended for babies whose mums don't stay in the sun a lot and you are supposed to continue with it, especially in the winter, until 5 years old.

As others have said there is less informal support, e.g. I can't find a mother and toddler group, so you have to rely on local friends a bit, but overall health care is much better funded in France than the UK.

Thanks all for the ongoing info coming through. I'm taking down notes as i read and i'm sure they will assist me along the way :)

I was supposed to give vit.K just few times after DD's birth, for a week or so. As to vit.D, our paed prescribes mega dose twice a winter-much easier than having to administer them every day. I think that's for babies older than 6mo, though.