In a pickle - which big bits of kit do I need for a new and growing baby?

[PlinkertyPlonk]

Moses basket, pram, cot, bedside cot, cotbed, changing table, sling, car seat, travel system, buggy - too much choice and I can't work out what I really need as opposed to what the shops want me to buy :)

Can anyone help? Baby due in 2 months. Not so interested in brand recommendations at this point, just which bits of equipment!!

I live in the middle of nowhere, so occasional walks up the lane or across lumpy fields/woods, and a few trips a week into the city (an hours drive) to meet up with friends (off-street parking, small cafes/shops rather than out-of-town malls or supermarkets). Won't be using public transport. And a long car trip coming up, to South France (do I get a lie-flat car seat? And if so, do I really then need a pram if it bolts onto a travel system?). We have a big car, so size/weight less of an issue than if I was living in town.

Very confused, so anything to help lift the fog would be great!!

No idea, but watching with interest!

To start minimal: sling to carry baby, car seat, somewhere for baby to sleep (I never used Moses basket, but if a cot won't fit in your room, it can be good). Changing mat (table isn't essential).

Big cost is buggy, but if you've got a good sling, you might not need one for a while. I often use the buggy to carry the shopping, not the baby.

If you need more, you can order online once baby arrives. Especially if you have an iPad & can shop while feeding.

The essential there would be the car seat. As far as the rest goes, first of all, your baby's likely to be in the same room as you for 6 months, so how much space have you got? If you've got room for a bedside cot that could convert to a normal cot when baby was a bit bigger I'd personally go for that rather than a moses basket/crib initially then a cot, since they're only in a moses basket or crib for about 3-4 months (btw even if you plan to co-sleep a cot's very handy to plonk them in when you need to leave them somewhere safe).
I personally would favour a sling over a large pram, but it's entirely a personal thing. One thing to bear in mind with prams is that you presumably would like an expensive piece of kit to last a while, and once you've got a chunky toddler in a heavy buggy it can get very difficult to push. With that in mind, I'd personally, if getting a buggy, get a nice lightweight one, or one with inflatable tyres, that either took a car seat, or was suitable for a newborn, but would last until not needed any more.
You don't NEED a changing table, but it may save your back to have at least a cot-top changer.

Oh, and by the way, I know you didn't mention it, but don't worry about getting a baby bath - you can do them in the sink initially, and it's much, much easier on your back - then, when they're a bit bigger they can go in the big bath with you.

Firstly, buy everything second hand except the car seat. Buy that new.

When buying a pram, bear in mind that you need to be able to lift it and fit it in the boot of your car.

I recommend a second-hand mountain buggy if you need an off-roader. Mine cost £30 iirc and is awesome.

A travel system will be most useful in the first few months but if you get a decent sling you might get away with not really bothering until the baby is old enough to go in an umbrella fold buggy. However grannies do like having a pram to push! I was given a Quinny Buzz which is massive and ungainly but good for tall people - I would have been seriously crazy to have paid full price for it though! The dreami carrycot was ace for the first 4 months especially the zip-on mozzy net for when we were camping. I paid £40 on eBay for that (well over £100 new).

Moses baskets - again, there are loads f second hand bargains as most babies grow out of them within a couple of months.

NCT sales are ace for stuff like that, well worth paying for membership!

Later on a door bouncer / jumperoo will be worth it's weight in gold.

Ikea Antilop highchair - despite the strap recall recently this is still a fab bit of kit IMHO and we bought three so one for our house and one for each of the GPs. However they are very portable as the legs come off - you can fit them in a shopping tote fairly easily.

A cot top changer was an essential for me as I am tall and had a bad back, I wouldn't bother buying an expensive changing table unless you can convert it to a normal chest of drawers or similar later on.

Basically, eBay and NCT sales are your friends. Or your friends themselves! People are often happy to pass on clothes, toys etc!

Oh, and also, for the long car journey it'd (I think) be better to have a lie-flat seat. Think you're supposed to stop every 2 hours to take a baby out of a normal car seat. You can get lie-flat seats that just clip onto a buggy chassis, making a lie-flat pram.

PS I wouldn't pay the extra for a lie-flat car seat as I think it's more sensible to factor in regular breaks. Every hour and a half was our minimum when DS was newborn, unless he was sleeping.

A travel system might make sense - ie a pram that can lie flat for a baby (and some of them can be used as a regular sleeping place / moses basket type thing as well) and which changes into a sit-up buggy when baby s older. And they come with a car seat which can clip onto the frame, meaning that when you go to town, you can lift car seat + baby straight out of car and clip onto wheels.

Sling a good idea - even for around the house. I reccomend a wrap sling like Kari-me.

You need somehwere for baby to sleep, preferably in your room. So, if a cot will fit, you can skip the whole moses basket thing if you want. But a basket can be nice to have, as you can move it downstairs, and some people think babies prefer the smaller space. You don't need to buy a cot / cotbed if you already have a basket. Wait untill baby is bigger and actually needs it. Likewise, if you get a cot now, don't worry about a basket - they only need one place to sleep. If you get a pram that is suitable for regular sleeping, you might get away with just that for the first few weeks. If you want to cosleep, you could get away with none of that at all - a bed guard might be useful, so baby does not fall out.

Changing table - I found a waste of time. Also, baby bath, any kind of nappy dispenser, nappy wrapper, baby wipe warmer - pointless. You need bin with a lid to put the dirty nappy in, a basket or box or bag to keep the bits together, and a changing mat. You'll need a bag to take out with you for the baby's stuff. You need muslins to mop up milk and puke. Personally I didn't bother with any bottles / sterilisers etc as I knew I wanted to breastfeed and could easily get some if I needed to, but that depends on your feeding plans. Certainly buy the minimum, you can always get more stuff.

Oh, and I agree with advice to get most of it second hand. New mattresses are importnat - but everything else can be used. Including clothes, cloth nappies, equipment - everything for babies is washable and can be wiped down with steriliser if necessary, so no need to pay full price.

Can you borrow a Moses Basket from a friend? Just get yourself a new mattress for it.

Cot, yes. Bedside cot, we didn't, but we didn't bedshare.

Sling, yes. We did without for DD but it is at the top of my 'things to buy' for as yet hypothetical second child.

Car seat, yes. I loved our lie flat car seat that we bought because we had booked a driving holiday to the south of France before I got pregnant. In a normal car seat you have to stop every 2-3 hours for up to 45 mins to ensure their oxygen saturation levels don't get too low.

"Travel System" basically means that you can clip your car seat onto the pushchair. We bought the pushchair that matched our lie flat car seat so it clipped straight in and we didn't need a pram. We are still using the big pushchair as it can turn to be rearfacing and DD likes to face us when we go for long walks - she's 19mo now. So we've done without a buggy so far.

Just quickly in case anyone else hasn't mentioned it I would FLY to the south of France.

Lie flat car seats aren't very safe (have a look at "Which" tests, most fall into the "Don't buy" category)

You do have to take baby out of the car seat every 2 hours which makes long journeys too hard, unless your baby is very compliant and you are not really going to know that for a few months yet. For example my DS1 would breast feed for about 1hr 15 mins EVERY feed (and he wasn't sleeping during this time either) and my DS2 would scream and scream and scream on longer journeys.... with both long journeys were near impossible, we would either be in service stations feeding DS1 or calming DS2 - aeroplanes much better!

Also bear in mind that no kit is perfect - I now have 4 buggy's (and two kids ) I have a heavy single and double for walking on rough ground, parks etc etc, then I also have two McLarens (single and double) for car portability and general lightness and easyness. Other people love slings....

I used on daily basis with DS from when he was a new baby:

Breastfeeding pillow (he was exclusively bfed)
Moses basket (cot didn't fit in our bedroom)
Cot top changer in his room
Travel system with car seat
Baby gym
Baby bouncer
Baby monitor
Baby bath + bath seat - similar to this seat
Spare changing mat to put on the bathroom floor for bath time

Plus a few other gadgets we used when he was a bit older :)
(Bottle steriliser, travel cot, baby sling, baby backpack carrier, play pen....)

I have a moses basket for downstairs a crib for our room upstairs a cotbed for babys room, a pram, a baby carseat an up to 3yr old car seat, a lay flat play mat a doughnut play mat, a baby walker, a sterisiler, a bottle warmer, a changing unit/bath thingy, a changing mat for downstairs, one or those bouncers that hang of the door, a up to 3 months swing a from birth swing, a high chair and enough baby clothes to last til 6 months maybe longer and about 15 million blankets...

I have to bloody much!! when people start asking what to buy say money if someone else comes with a gift for baby i will cry!!

Oh my! It's a minefield isn't it! Lots of very helpful comments though (and you did make me laugh!)

I like the idea of a simple sling, as I can't imagine trying to push a buggy up the hills/moors from our house. DH not so keen unless it's a 'proper' one with straps and manly things (he's scared he'll turn into a lentil weaver ).

I also like the idea of flying to France, but that's not an option as we'll have 3 under-12s in tow too and a stop off with family mid-way (although if baby does feed for 1.5 hrs at a time, I may well fly and leave the rest of the family to it ). Driving, we'd need to stop every 2 hours anyway, so a lie-flat car seat may be pointless? I'm also worried about their safety, although the Mutsy one I've seen lies front to back, rather than across the seat, so may be better (it isn't in the Which tests)? And as someone suggested, it could then double up as a pram (and maybe even a moses basket?) which would be useful for trips into town.

I'll put the cot decision off for now; the cots all seem so big for a little new born baby. I wasn't planning on co-sleeping as I get squashed by DH as it is so LO wouldn't stand a chance.

And second hand sounds like the way to go (exc car seat and mattresses), especially as I'm not bothered about it being new and gleaming; let's face it, it's all going to get covered in snot and puke!

And the baby bath - that's the first thing my sister said to me when she found out I was pg

I would say a bath too, as I dud not want to have a baby temperature bath, so found a bath handy

Something no one has mentioned - storage! You will need somewhere to put nappies/bibs/wipes/cottonwool/general crap etc.

It gets worse as they get older