Am I eing Unreasonable?

[horseynewmum]

Now that the new series of one born every minute started I have decided to watch it as DC1 is due in May and i'm hoping it help me with whats to come. I've also said my DH should watch at least 2 eposide so he knows whats happening and can understand what he has to do to which his reply was I'm not watching something that has blood and is gruesome. Surely this isn't too much to ask?

Up to him if he watches it, you can't force him.

He'll see it all when your in labour anyway

What nigel said. You can't make him fgs.
He'll deal with it when it happens....watching One Born Every Minute is not a requirement.
YOU watch it if you want to.

my partner said the same thing ie no way was he watching it, he'd rather not know. and from what i've heard (from friends etc.. who have had kids already) it's nothing like their labours anyway...

good luck! - you never know, maybe he'll sneak a peak on 4OD :o

I found it far more useful than DH did. He watched none of the first series and did a grand job when DD was born part way through. Probably best he doesn't watch it anyway, too many women on beds - he might be if you want to stand/squat/walk about and he thinks you must lie down like the women on the telly.

u are being unreasonable to be honest,
my DP has seen a CS and a VD fine and still won't watch OBEM
his words " If it's not mine being born I don't need to see it!"
each to their own I suppose!

you are being unreasonable sorry. He's probably worried enough about seeing your in labour without watching the problems experienced by others. He may not want any help with imagining all the things that might go wrong.

You are being unreasonable, you can't force him and a TV programme is not necessarily the best prep. Even I refused to watch it with DD.

I don't think it's particularly unreasonable unless your filing for divorce over it, (although i have a theory that pregnant woman can not be unreasonable and should get exactly what they want when they want it) I don't think it's particularly necessary though and I wouldn't fall out over it! I got my DP to watch it last might and he looked like he was going to pass out at one point and it wasn't even that bad! I don't believe any amount of watching other people's births can prepare us or the men for what it's going to be like, infact it probably puts more fear into us - and I read somewhere that it's actually the fear that creates the pain - well adds to it anyway! as Long as he's supportive of your pregnancy comes to any appointments you want him to, makes u a cuppa and holds your hair when u get sick i wouldn't stress yourself out over it! You watch it and enjoy it - and then annoy him by talking through match of the day giving him a minute by minute account of what happened

I got my other half to watch it last night (he didn't have much option as I got in first and had commandeered the telly!) and I think it was useful for us first-timers as it gave a vague idea of what's normal in terms of how many people are in the room, how much stuff people take etc. I can see why blokes are a bit put off, as it's definitely more uncomfortable visualising a loved one in pain than it is imagining yourself in pain I think...

thank you all i've had a good think myself and think my hormones plus other things have taken over again and its no excuse really. The reason why I wanted him to watch it was more for the dads reaction on Tv as well as what to expect. He keeps asking me whats it like and as this is my first DC aswell as his i'm just as clueless so thought it might help. Don't worry not going to file for divoce over that.

DH won't watch any of those programmes. He says I watch them all and can tell him anything he needs to know, so that's plenty. So now I give him a digest of all the programmes straight afterwards

He did ask!

Seriously though, what difference is it likely to make? As long as he goes to the antenatal classes with you and knows what his role is, and that it is likely to be messy/painful/whatever?

horseynewmum, OBEM is not a good example of dads reactions as they all tend to come across and either complete idiots or at the very best utterly useless. Also the couples they have on there do not tend to represent normal births - if there is such a thing - as normal births do not make good TV. I do watch OBEM but I think its more useful in terms of knowing how a hospital works rather than a good preparation for your own birth.

The programme is mostly sensationalist and will probably make both of you worry if you base what birth is going to be like on watching that. You are better off neither of you watching it as all it will do is increase your fear most probably.
Also just because he doesn't want to watch births for entertainment doesn't mean he will be rubbish when the time comes. These programmes won't teach him what he has to do, and most of the men on it are not excellent role models for a good birth partner. antenatal classes are surely more useful.

I haven't seen it yet but it's recorded. DH has just watched it and text me to say it was so bad he wants us to pay to go private

I was due with dc1 in may 2010 when the first series was on... I asked DH to watch some of it but he didn't and then he passed out at the birth so I would say get your man prepped!

reallea it my point exactly. My DH isn't very good with blood and stuff and I don't want him to pass out and miss the birth of his child. Also I wanna know I'll have someone who will tell me i'm doing well and help with my breathing rather then me worrying if he has injuried himself cause he has passed out LOL

OP, if your DH isn't good with blood etc don't make him watch it & keep him away from the 'buisiness end' when you go into labour. My DH can't look at fake blood never mind he real thing so he stayed up at the top end of the bed, letting me break his fingers squeeze his hand & rubbing my back & generally being far more useful than he would have been lying unconcious on the floor!
FWIW I've never watched it anyway so I wouldn't make anyone else.

Neither my DP or I have any inclination towards watching it. Our thoughts are that the programme is edited so not realistic in the slightest and just because one woman and her OH births that way doesn't mean our experience will be the same. xx

I am not watching it and would not make DH watch it. It is first and foremost designed to entertain, and I have never seen a birth in the first series which seemed anything like my boring first birth, so DH wouldn't have learned anything anyway.
Getting him to read the books/ come to classes more important than telly IMHO.
So sorry YABU.

I've tried the book thing but my DH has this thing about not reading. He says too much reading is bad for your eyes i then walk out the room on turn TV up as it is just him being lady

commutinghell clever stuff!

Op tried to get my OH to watch it but he really wasn't interested at all, that was fine I watched in bed snuggled up with a cup of tea and blubbed in peace

My DH was at the birth of DS and was great, and generally isnt too squeamish.

He still wouldnt watch when I was trying to get him to watch a caesarian "just in case" though