33 weeks I have question and I dont want to ask MW as she is a bit of a Psycho

[esandi]

Hi

3rd pregnancy I am due a c-section on 16th feb. I was in the FAU last friday with contractions (no not braxton's) and they went away and they told me to go home. I have had contractions now and then in sets lasting an hour at 4 mins apart. They did a test on me in the hospital to determine if I would go into early labour and it was neg. My waters with both other bubs broke at 36 weeks. Now I am having hot flushes and lots of regular pins and needles in my feet esp my right foot. And my fingers feel a bit swollen :( I am really not sure what to do now?

err Help?

You need to ring your hospital, and they will probably want you to go in. Which is a PITA at this time of night, but necessary incase it is pre-eclampsia.

Hope you are ok

Very very sorry for hijacking OP, thought I was starting a new thread but clearly wasn't! Ignore the above!

[Runs to hang head in shame]

In answer to your post though, you really need to rong your hospital, I'd have thought they would want you to go in and get checked out. My thoughts are with you, and once again, terribly sorry

Sannebanana your dh and mother sound like a pair of nutjobs! It sounds like you have been quite dignified by not telling tales to MIL and by not exploding with anger when MIL had the audacity to come out with all of this crap!
You are not being unreasonable at all and it sounds like the sooner you see a solicitor the better, don't let them get you down and spoil what should be such a happy time in your life. Sounds like they are not worth it and you have probably had a lucky escape! :)

aww its OK sorry to read all about that :( I hope you get it sorted. I really don't think they can force you to have anyone at the birth that you don't want there. But I guess your solicitor will help you with that.

Esandi hope you are doing ok. Hospital is the way to go.

Sanne - Don't worry, they have no rights whatever when it comes to the birth. It isn't a spectator sport! Your hospital midwives will be able to bounce them using security if it comes to it. I would stop all contact except through official channels personally. I'm sure your solicitor will have lots of good advice.

esandi 1) get checked out in hospital ASAP and 2) switch midwives. There's obviously been a breakdown in your relationship and that's not going to lead to a productive birth.

sanne I'm sorry it's all so difficult. Also, well done for getting out of the relationship. Def. get legal help and a divorce in motion - on the ground of the abuse. EXH and EXMIL have no legal rights to be at the birth at all ...I'm assuming you're in the UK from what you've written. I would talk to the hospital about what's happening and ask them how they can help. If you have any form of evidence as to the abuse, then please keep it and pass it to solicitor/police, and keep a timeline of waht's happened, even if there is no 'evidence' now (have you mentioned it to your MW for example, they may be a very good source). I'd also go to the police and have it catalogued what's happened so far - you are in an extreemly vulnerable position and it should be documented at least. He's been violent to you before, and although you're separated, there's no reason to believe he's rational and able to stay away from you and baby.
As flame says, cease all contact with them unless through legal representation. They have no rights to know what'a happening to your body during pregnancy and labour, so there's no need to inform them which hospital you'll be at, or when you go into labour.
I would also encourage your family in SA to be as discreet as they can about your pregnancy. MIL is not likely to even believe an nth of the reality, and will feed back any information she hears to EXH.

One last thing, if cost of a solicitor is an issue, approach Women's Aid, and The CAB (this site also has links to many other organisations that can help). Your MW should also be able to put you in touch with a local network of help.

Also, please come back on here for support at any time. What matters is the safety of you and your DD...screw him and his family.

I'll check you've not posted elsewhere too and re-post, but please, stay safe xxx

OP, Get checked and let us know! xxx

esandi I hope all is ok with you, all I can say is the same as the others you should speak to your maternity ward and hopefully they will help you - good luck!

sanne I am shocked by your post and hope you are ok, I'm so pleased that you have managed to get out of the relationship! As previously said try and document as much as possible and definately speak to your midwife, mine asked me on my first visit about any violence in the home and told me that I could always talk to her about these things so I think that should be your first port of call, I'm sure that she will be able to advise you from there what to do. I would also speak to a solicitor, although I'm not entirely sure what they could do apart from explain all of your rights etc... please keep strong and keep us updated!

Wishing you both luck!

Xx

I wish I could change MW but we are in a village and there is only one available. :( Hopefully after the baby is born my Health Visitor wont be as bad.

:(

Did you get seen in the end?

NHS Direct can be very useful, as can ringing your local hospital's maternity triage...

(UPDATE) I didn't get seen straight away and I started to feel better. But then my sore throat got worse and I started coughing and my waters went on the 7th so I had to go in to hospital. I Then was told that I got an infection so they did the C-section on the Monday at 33+5. My baby then got transferd to another hospital and finally after over a week tomorrow I will hopefully be bringing him home. Its been so stressful he is doing just fine and is really well and feeds from breast fine so I have been very anxious to get him home.

Congratulations on the birth of your DS

How lovely it will be for you to get him home :)