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Gender: to know or not to know?

13 replies

Miffyonline · 03/01/2012 11:56

We're having the 20 week scan in 3 weeks and still deciding whether to find out the gender or not. Did you decide to find out the gender and did you make the right decision?

I know it's different for everyone and we'll make up our own mind - just after some feedback :-)

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Savannahrose · 03/01/2012 12:00

Hi

Didn't want to leave your post un answered. I'm now 27 weeks, we decided not to find out the sex this time. Last time we knew she was a Girl and had a name chosen already so the only shock was that she came early!!!! The suspense is killing me but I know it will be worth it. We're looking forward to hearing the 'it's a ...!!!'
Good luck :)
X

HugosGoatee · 03/01/2012 12:01

We found out and it really helped me bond with the unborn baby Smile it's a surprise whenever you find out. And it doesn't mean you have to buy all pink or all blue clothing - although you may wish to let friends and family know if you don't want gender-specific stuff from birth!

Mil didn't want to know, which was a bit annoying - we had to tell her in the end because we wanted to share it and she would have found out anyway.

lljkk · 03/01/2012 12:09

1st baby I wanted a surprise but (extra scans) we figured out it was a boy anyway.

2+ babies I wanted to know so that I could plan things a bit better; they couldn't tell us with DC2, and was pretty obvious with DC3-4 if you know what to look for! Friend (with 5 DC) said it's better not to know, gives you something to think about during labour! Friend who badly wanted a girl after 3 boys said she needed to know to deal with any disappointment before baby arrived.

The hard part is if one of you wants to know & the other one doesn't; it's a very hard secret to keep.

bagelmonkey · 03/01/2012 12:09

I didn't want to find out. I'd keep it a surprise again too.

KatAndKit · 03/01/2012 12:18

I originally thought I would go for the surprise option. That was what I planned to do with my first pregnancy as I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl and I thought a surprise would be nice. Unfortunately I miscarried that time. Now I finally have a sticky one after 2mc, I changed my tune entirely, I felt like I really really needed to know if it was a boy or a girl. So I did find out and I'm glad I did. I think it's helping me to feel more secure about this pregnancy and to "bond" with the baby more.

Savannahrose · 03/01/2012 12:41

How can knowing the sex of your unborn baby help you bond? Surely you will love your baby regardless of the sex!?
Just a thought.....

KatAndKit · 03/01/2012 12:54

Well yes, of course you will love the baby regardless. But being able to say "he" and being able to think of boys names and things like that make it seem more like a real baby. Perhaps it doesn't make any difference to some people. If I hadn't been able to find out then it wouldn't have been the end of the world, but I'm glad I know and can visualise the baby as a little boy and imagine having a little baby boy soon. I was never bothered about having one gender over the other so "disappointment" wasn't something I was concerned about.

SardineQueen · 03/01/2012 13:00

We had a "surprise" with both of ours and that's what we like. I think it's one of those things - some people can't see why you wouldn't find out, some people can't see why you would IYSWIM.

With the second it was nice as we ended up with a planned section and if you know when the baby is coming and what it's going to be then there's no "news" to tell anyone IYSWIM!

I honestly don't think it matters though just do what you feel that you want to do Smile

olittletownof · 03/01/2012 13:08

I thought I'd feel a bit more prepared knowing whether it was a boy or a girl so really wanted to find out. DH didn't, so I promised to keep referring to the LO as a boy (I'd been convinced it was) and not tell anyone else. She was a DD and after a couple days of adjusting (quite weird at the time as I couldn't discuss with anyone) I felt better knowing. DH was always convinced she was a girl. If you agree a plan upfront it's easy to keep to yourself.
With DC2 I was pleased DH agreed to find out as again in my control freakery way I feel that little bit more prepared knowing what to expect, although as a DS I'm now slightly freaking out as I'm not really sure what to do with one of those. I know all babies are individual though and you can't anticipate/plan for all eventualities, it's whatever you're most comfortable with. Btw planning for me, doesn't mean getting everything pink or blue, one of the good things with first time round was that it was a while before the pink deluge began & we'll be able to reuse a lot for DS.

olittletownof · 03/01/2012 13:15

savannahrose think of it like a game of guess who, 'is it male?' yes or no, it eliminates half of the possibilities so helps with the mental (possibly) picture.

FutureNannyOgg · 03/01/2012 13:16

DH hates surprises, he would never have held out, but personally, I didn't like the idea that the sonographer would know (they check all over thoroughly, so they couldn't help but notice) and I wouldn't.

RubyLovesMayMay · 03/01/2012 13:29

I dont like surprises! The last thing I need when Im pregnant is surprises Grin

No, in all seriousness I agree with KitandKat (Im having a boy this time too)

I also wanted to know for practical reasons, the amount of dresses and pink stuff my DD had given was unreal, so I needed to know if I could relax and recycle the clothes or get shopping for new stuff!

Jamina · 03/01/2012 17:07

I'm 27 plus 1 and we didn't find out I like doing all of the old wives tales, obviously no truth in these but fun trying to guess c

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