Pregnant birth phobic

[loudee]

Ive posted on here before about my fears of giving birth and reluctance to have children due to this.

After feeling a bit weird and being late I did a pregnancy test on Christmas day and it was positive!!!! I have done many more since, all positive!!

So, I am very very happy on one hand and utterly terrified on the other. Help!!

Congratulations!! I don't know if this will help (but it's my intention that it will!) but I am currently pregnant with baby number 2, due today actually. My first birth hurt like a $%%£!% b"£$%d, horribly horribly so.

BUT, my beautiful toddler was completely worth every pain (and also the state my body ended up in after he was out!) and is the absolute love of my life. Even on our worst days, I have never, ever regretted him or going through the pain of childbirth. Obviously, as I am having number 2!

I will say some wise words of advice - DON'T do what I did and ignore all antenatal and NCT classes and think that ignorance is bliss; I'd get through it somehow. Everything that happened was consequentially a huge shock and very scary, making the birth all the more worse, and could have been completely avoided. Knowledge IS power. Best of luck!!!

Thanks Jennix I actually am scouring mumsnet for info and have ordered an embarrassing amount of books. I totally agree that you can't have too much info about pregnancy and birth.

My friends have said similar things to you about birth (not that that I've told anyone I'm pregnant yet) and there's a bit of my brain that can accept what you're saying and another bit that thinks "they must be totally mad, what has happened to their brains, how can you possibly say such a savagely traumatic thing is dulled in any way from memory" argh!

I very much hope mumsnet will continue to be a support throughout my pregnancy as hearing your experience really does help.

Thanks for the congratulations. I can't believe it yet.

How exciting you are due today! Very best wishes to you and your family. Do come back and tell me how it went

I suffer from needle phobia and am also birth phobic

I have had sessions with psychologist on NHS and a hypnotherapist on NHS - I was referred as soon as I asked my GP (phobia been on record for a while though)

They have helped a lot. I'm due in Feb and need to text the hypnotherapist to get more sessions before the baby is born

Everyone has been amazing with me - from longer MW appointments when I need an injection to extra sessions and even the hypnotherapist (who ironically is also an anesnatist) giving me her mobile no when I have a 'wobble' in run up to appointments etc.

Help is there .... But you have to ask or you know... Do a Kayano and break down weeping

overall my message is congratulations and you will be fine

Many thanks for your replies. I am not in quite as much of a panic as I assumed I would be - are those pregnancy hormones already addling my brain?! - but I will be re reading the messages when I have a wobble.

Good luck kayano and Jennix!

Congratulations loudee. Firstly it is perfectly natural to feel frightened about child birth. I too have my moments. I have suffered with my nerves in the past and realise how you must be feeling. My main concern is that I will be anxious during child birth, the physical pain does not scare me in the slightist. The way to look at it is the pain will be productive and look at the wonderful reward you will get at the end. I have told myself to think that every contraction is a natural process and I am one step closer to seeing my little baby girl. Also, millions of women have been giving birth for centuries and they have managed.
I would advise you to order Effective Birth Preparation (Hospital or Birth Centre): A Self Hypnosis CD Programme (Natal Hypnotherapy Programme) by Maggie Howell. It is very helpful and relaxing. Hope this helps you. xx

Congratulations, loudee. I don't think I could go so far as saying I am birth phobic, but - just into third trimester with my first child at 39 - I do get pretty scared at times, of the unknown factors and pain in the birth, as well as whether I will make a good mother. It's the ultimate physical and psychological step into the unknown, and at some level I don't know why I'm making it! But pregnancy has felt much more wonderful so far than I could ever have expected - I've been very lucky with minimal unpleasant symptoms, and feeling the baby kick and squirm is just lovely - so I tell myself there's no point in frightening myself about the birth, when - however much I read - there's no way to predict what it will be like.

Best wishes to you.

Hi so glad I found this post Im the same as you massive phobia about giving birth I begged for a caesarian at nearly every appointment used to talk for hours about it wanted hear other peoples stories. I am a massive wimp with low pain threshold and guess what! Its not that bad at all really baby was back to back thats supposed to be more painful and I was induced so had hormone drip makes contractions more painful I managed it without pain relief really its not that painful or bad and I had the cut and vontusse and stiches it was fine really had more pain with a bad periodxx

Congratulations, loudee! I don't know if this is any help, but I was thinking to myself the other day, 'well, you can't expect creating a human being to be easy' :) I'm not phobic but I think it would be hard not to be at least a bit apprehensive about giving birth. On the other hand, I comfort myself by remembering that the vast majority of women throughout history have got through it fine, even before modern pain relief was an option, and continue to do so in many places where there aren't hopsitals. And there's no reason why we should be any different.

Definitely Hypnobirthing. It changed my entire outlook on giving birth, going from putting it off for years because I found it terrifying and humiliating, to it being the most awesome empowering experience I've ever had.
Get the Mongan book, do a course, join a group and do the practise; it teaches you to keep relaxed and focused, which enables your body and your baby to do what nature intended. Do check it out; I cant rave about it enough...

It's weird but I didn't realise how terrified I was of giving birth until I attended my first hypnobirth class which was run by a friend. As she pointed out all the births we see on the telly look really scary and painful (as this makes good telly) so we think it should be. The course really helped me and I had a very straight forward birth. I had a job convincing the hospital I was in labour as apparently I sounded to carm but was actually 7 cm dialated when checked and gave birth 2 hours later. I was uncomfortable and it was not a pleasant experience as it felt like my insides where falling out but was nothing like you see on the telly. Like others above I would recommend hypnobirthing class as it really focuses on how to stay relaxed and carm. You can still us all the drugs when you get to hospital (if you want to) I used gas and air as the course doesn't narrow your options but widen the. I also went to NCT but found that this was not really very useful for the birth as seemed to center around rearranging the hosiptal room and having low lighting.