Anxious and losing sleep over birth arrangements!

[beatrice75]

I know this may sound silly but I don't know who to ask to look after my two DCs if me and DH need to go to hospital before my mum arrives in 2 weeks time. I have no family nearby and although I do know a lot of people, no-one has offered to help in the middle of the night (or indeed in the middle of the day!) in the event I go into labour early. I have tried to drop hints about our situation but have not had much success. In a way it makes me very frustrated because in the past I have offered to help friends or even colleagues in the same situation so the fact no-one is offering to helpe even if I make it quite clear that I'm worried about this makes me feel I have no friends.
I'm having long spells of braxton hicks in the evening and every night I become really anxious about what to do if the time comes too early.
Has anyone been in this situation before? Is there someone I could pay to babysit in these situations? If not would you go to hospital alone rather than take your children with you (ages 8 and 10).
Thank you for any thoughts!

I sympathize. I am booked in for a ELCS so am able to organise myself, but if baby comes early it will be a palava. Especially as we are now into christmas/new year and anyone I know who would be prepared to look after our 2 (12 and 10) will probably not be fir to drive in the evening. Are there any dear old ladies who live in your street? or even older responsible teenagers who could come to your house?

There's a really nice family in the street, we're on good terms and sometimes share lifts to school. The children also play together at mine or theirs so I'm very tempted to just go and ask if they'd be available. I suppose they can't really say no if you just ask upfront, which makes it really hard to do!

Why not get in touch with a local childminder? I know that some are able to childmind over night. I don't know the ins and outs of whether it is easy to do this as a possible one off or not. The other thing to do is that if worse comes to worse your dh can look after the kids leaving you to labour on your own. Not ideal I know but they won't be abandoned. And yes, I would ask the family! I never take hints - someone would have to upfront with me!

Do ask right out. Much better than dropping hints. It might well be that those you are dropping the hints to have no idea that you are actually asking for help, and if you are getting anxious and even upset about not getting offers for help that might even come across and make people just want to change the subject. It's very easy when you are really bothered about something to think that you have explained but really not have done so.

Hopefully your baby will hang on in there until your mum arrives, but you will feel so much better with an emergency plan in place. Plus your neighbours might feel quite proud to be asked and involved in your birth (I know I always feel chuffed when people ask me for help).

Thank you, thank you for your posts. I feel braver to just go and ask tomorrow.
I do hope this baby hangs in there, though. Has anyone had hours of painless contractions pretty much from 6 pm onwards and still managed to carry to term? I got examined yesterday and cervix is still closed and another test they did - where they take a swab of your cervix and check for a substance that can indicate labour in next two weeks - was also negative. But they did say im having hell of a lot of braxton hicks!!

Yes I did with pregnancy number 2 and it was awful, and yes he did go to full term. I was in a perpetual state of anxiety thinking he was about to come. Actually I went a bit overdue. Looking back I was doing lots in my life at the time and that may have been why....I had a young child and a full time job with lots of responsibilities. I was also obsessed with cleaning everywhere! lol. Wish that feeling would come back. But I digress. Obviously it is sensible that you've had these Braxton Hicks checked out and I would continue to mention it if it carries on. But I do agree that if I were asked by a neighbour to be a back up, I would feel really proud to be asked. I would see it as a compliment. Good luck! x

I wish all my neighbours were like you thanks for your replies!

I'm 40+2 with dc4 and had loads of Braxtons for weeks, also 2 sweeps and cervix is thin, soft & 2cm dilated. Head has been fully engaged for 3wks. Still no baby!! I'd say you've got a good chance of hanging in there from my experience .

Def ask your neighbour, just to be on safe side though.

Beatrice I'm sorry this is worrying you - I agree with all the other ladies - definitely ask your neighbour - do it outright - but then at least your mind will be at ease even if the neighbour is not needed! If someone in your situation asked me I'd be more than happy to help out.

Oh - just seen when this was posted - hope you managed to get it sorted!