5/6 weeks pregnant and not coping!

[Peasandyoghurt]

Hi, this is my first post on here, and I'm just hoping for some advice/ reassurance... I was diagnosed with PCOS about ten years ago and ever since have spent hours/ days/ weeks etc. terrified I'd never be able to conceive (I'm not over weight or anything, but my cycles were extremely irregular. One year I only had two periods, though in the last year I've been a bit more regular - though still ranging from 30-42 days)

Anyway, incredibly, once DP and I started to ttc it's taken us only 3 months to get a BFP! Hoorah, you'd think... Except within about 10 minutes of getting the result I've plunged into the pits of despair - I'm spending my days terrified of miscarriage (internet searches to reassure myself have only made matters worse as I discovered PCOS increases chances of miscarriage!!!) and then when I sleep I have nightmares about the same - horrible dreams about blood etc. Just horrible!

I've also been having stabbing pain on the right of my stomach which wakes me in the night and the first time it came I was convinced 'this is it!', but it comes and goes and the GP doesn't seem concerned... There's been no blood.

NEEDING reassurance I went for a private 6 week scan yesterday (based on mine and my GPs calculations I was at least 6 weeks), stacking all my hope on seeing the heart beat. But they couldn't find a heart beat! She thinks that maybe I had a long cycle last month and therefore I'm only actually 5 weeks - in which case the yolk etc she can see looks fine for 5 weeks. She's asked me to come back in ten days (which, the way I'm feeling, might as well be ten years!) to see what she can see then...

Can anybody offer advice on any of this please? I'm also having barely any symptoms to reassure me - I had a metallic taste for a few days and slightly tender breasts for maybe two days but that's it and even they're gone now...

I want this baby so, so much, and just don't know what to think! (Sorry for such a long post!)

Because you have pcos (and therefore long cycles) it is highly unlikely that you conceived on the 'average' day of cd14 as per a woman with 28 day cycles...and it's these average women that the LMP dating is based on.

I typically ovulate late, with this prgnancy I knew it was cd20 as I was charting my cycle. So, when the doctor called me 6 weeks pregnant, I knew that actually I was only five weeks and 1 day. At this very early stage, each day really does make a difference.

As you have seen the yolk sac in the uterus, it would be a fair bet to say the shooting pain on your right is probably the corpus luteum (from where you ovulated and is now a 'cyst' that is pumping out progesterone to sustain the pregnancy).

Nobody can guarantee everything is ok, but it all sounds pretty good to me so far. I hope when you return for your repeat scan you will see the heart flickering and be reassured you're relly on this journey!

Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom Manda!

I have to admit DP is a bit annoyed with me for not erring further on the side of caution when booking the '6 week' scan. I'd invested so much hope into seeing the heartbeat then it was just awful when it wasn't there. I'd added a week to allow for my 'average' longer cycle, but of course if last month just happened to be a 42 day cycle I should actually be adding 2 weeks!

If only I could have a symptom to reassure... I absolutely hate being sick - never did I imagine being in a situation where I'd be wishing to be sick every day!

Don't panic! When I went for a scan at 7 weeks the sonographer told me if my dates were a few days out we might not see a heartbeat and that it wouldn't mean there was something wrong, just that it is too early to see. With regards to miscarriage, as sad and horrible as it is we can't tell who will or won't have a miscarriage, so the best you can do at this early stage is try to relax and don't overdo things. Lack of symptoms isn't a cause for concern although I know it is frustrating! I know the first few weeks are hard, I'm 19 weeks now and worried non-stop until after 12 weeks, now I only worry intermittently! Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

I have PCOS too, and like you I'm not overweight (underweight in fact). I tried for a year before getting pregnant. I have extremely irregular cycles too. I was actually about to start fertility treatment when routine tests showed I was pregnant.

I had pains at first, my doctor said that because of all the hormonal changes, this can irritate your ovaries and cause some discomfort. I had two early scans, and I was a week later than they assumed at first.

I'm now 15 weeks. I still worry some days, but I think that I got pregnant against the odds, and no one will take this baby away from me now.

You'll be fine, and once you do see the baby's heart beating away such a huge weight will be lifted.

Congratulations on your pregnancy xx

I didn't really get any symptoms until I was about 7 weeks, if that helps to reassure at all? Remember that although miscarriages are common, the odds really are in your favour. Congratulations and good luck!

I also have pcos and when I had an internal scan to diagnose it the sonographer said my right ovary was a lot further forward in my pelvis than the right and that this was quite common. For this reason, I've always been able to feel it more and often had the stabby pains similar to those you describe. In the first trimester I had aches and pains of various sorts on that side as things swelled and expanded. Now at 33 weeks it's a lot more uncomfortable if baby moves over to my right side - fortunately it prefers to be on the left. Try not to worry yourself senseless. Lots of women with pcos have successful pregnancies - just look at the Beckhams!

Peas, I do sympatise. I had a scan at 5+6 with my DS and their was no heartbeat, went again a couple of weeks later and all was well. He is now 2.5. Various pains are very common in early pregnancy. Mine ranged from period like pains to some sharp feelings, that lasted for a few weeks from my missed period (with my DS, and also with my DC2 - am 14 weeks pregnant now). With my son, I had very few symptoms at all and all was fine. Dreams are also very vivid in pregnancy due to the hormones, so although it's horrible to experience them, perhaps you could take it as a pregnancy 'symptom'.

I can't comment on PCOS or early scans, but I had pretty much no symptoms of early pregnancy (in either of my pregnancies) apart from sharp twinges/pains in the general womb area - no breast changes, no sickness. Eventually I got much hungrier and got headaches at 10 weeks pregnant - but certainly in the early stages I didn't feel different to normal. I wouldn't have 'known' I was pregnant if it hadn't been for the positive test! Fingers crossed for you that you get to hear the heartbeat soon and that all is well for you.

I had some horrible stabbing pains in what felt like my right ovary at the same stage as you. A couple of weeks later I had some mild cramping like period pains. Now I'm 11 weeks and all feels fine, though not having a scan till a week on Monday. But I've had no more pain and no bleeding. So assume all is well. The pains can be the corpus luteum or ligaments / muscles stretching. Also if you've had previous pelvic surgery you could have adhesions and scars that are causing this.

Hi Peas, I wrote a very similar post a few days ago. I had a scan on Wednesday and thought I was 7 weeks, my dates must have been out because they only saw the sac and yolk, no heartbeat. I have to go back in 2 weeks for a further scan and am a bit anxious, although I have PCOS too and long cycles so it's quite likely that I could not be as far on as expected.

It's horrible waiting, but like another poster told me, it's great that they've seen a yolk sac - as no yolk means no baby. I'm hoping for good news for us both.

Thank you so, so much everyone, I feel really reassured. I can't believe how much you all know (or ho much I don't know!) e.g. having a clue about what pains could be, or about seeing a yolk sack being a good sign, or that not everyone gets symptoms - my pregnancy books seem set on 'reassuring' me what a 'great sign' morning sickness is, cue me reading no morning sickness is a terrible sign that everything is doomed!

Congratulations Hippie on your pregnancy too - I really like your 'nobody will take this baby from me now' attitude - I'm going to try and adopt it as my own!

I have PCOS too, OP - but I managed to get unexpectedly pregnant on what must have been the only time I ovulated in about 3 years. Never actually had periods in all that time or even before I realised I might be pregnant - talk about timing! I only did a pregnancy test because when lying in bed one morning, I noticed my boobs were pointing upwards, instead of their usual sideways, IYKWIM

Anyway - that was my only early pregnancy symptom. I had no morning sickness at all, and actually lost lots of weight until I was about 7 months pregnant, so I also remember not actually 'feeling' pregnant for quite some time. If it hadn't been for the scans, I almost wouldn't have believed it - so I completely understand where you're coming from. Have you been back to your GP with the info from the private scan? I wonder if he/she would be willing to refer you for another scan in a couple of weeks, maybe if you see the heartbeat at that point it might allow you relax into your pregnancy a bit more...?

I have a little theory - not very evidence based, either - that, due to the PCOS, my hormone levels were not particularly normal, so when I got the early pregnancy rush of hormones, they still didn't reach high enough levels to cause morning sickness, etc. Who knows? Like I said - just my own little theory.

By the way peas, I have NO pregnancy symptoms whatsoever. That would worry me but I have a DS and had NO symptoms with him either - for me, no symptoms is fine. I'd probably be more worried if I started getting them tbh!

My pregnancy symptoms only really began at 7 weeks. I had a mc the first time at 11 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at 7 weeks then the next pregnancy (ds now 2.4yr) I drove myself mad with worrying spent a fortune on early scans which only reassured me for a few hours before I'd worry again!

This time round I am now nearly 24 weeks and I didn't have an early scan until 9 weeks as I knew before that It would actually wouldn't put my mind at ease and would just worry me more! My sickness and tiredness really kicked in at 7/8 weeks and hung around a lot longer than it needed to!

As much as I know it is hard to do you need to relax and I think it is a good thing you are very aware of the real risk of mc and how common it is. I was very naive first time round and thought everything would be fine.