Why do people feel the need to guess? If I want to tell them then I will!

[tubtoes]

Bit of a rant here, wondering if anyone else gets wound up by people, colleagues, friends hearing that you aren't feeling well and immediately asking if you are pregnant. Surely that is a totally personal thing that people will tell you when and if they want to, double guessing seems so rude and intrusive! Does anyone have any good deflection comments?? (I am currently off work for a week with horrendous nausea and have already had a few comments...)

Ignore the pregnancy 'quip' and mention winter vomiting bug / norovirus whilst coughing in their personal space.

I would just say no just ill, my boss did and she was sick for 6 weeks before she told anyone, tho tbh i knew but mostly because im only 7 weeks ahead of her so the signs were obvious to me and i sit next to her.

I know what you mean tubtoes. Before I fell pregnant everytime I went to work feeling less then a 100% everyone would say oh your pregnant. Now i'm pregnant and been complete pants and unable to attend work they don't believe me and think serve vomiting due to pregnancy is made up. They should of been careful what they wished for LOL

it just annoys me cos its the most personal thing in the world and do random people in your life really feel they deserve to ask and find out before you have even told your nearest and dearest? When I suspect a friend or colleague to be pregnant i wait for them to tell me, its just so pushy asking upfront!
so yes, i will say just ill, but why would i have a stomach bug going on 2 weeks?? thank god for xmas holidays in 12 days!! hopefully in the new year my symptoms wont be so severe...

Someone summed it up with people think you're public property when you're pregnant, and for some folk the whole guesswork / poirot aspect to it is part of their fun. Typically they don't mean any harm by it but coupled with feeling crap and raging hormones it's not the most helpful and I agree none of their business. I hope you feel better soon. I still stand by coughing and spluttering near them.

Thanks! i think it doesnt help that i want to start telling people to make it more real, right now i just feel ill and almost forget why...

Nope, I work surrounded by men :o

Yes, it is annoying. We had some friends guess and DH couldn't keep a straight face admitted it - fine, no problem, these things happen. But we both made it clear it's very early and we didn't want to discuss it until it became official.

So what do they do? Keep asking about it! Shut up.

When I told my mum, first her chin fell to the floor but, she quickly composed herself and said "I knew it, I was about to ask you if you're pregnant".

The great thing about being 39 and with my partner for almost 20 years before I got pregnant has meant that no one made those kind of public guesses with me, though I didn't tell anyone till 16 weeks. But I absolutely resist the 'pregnant = public property' equation, and I agree that questions are rude and intrusive - several close friends had in fact guessed by the time we announced it, but, being lovely people, didn't force my hand by asking.

I would have no qualms about looking blank in response to a direct question and asking the questioner to repeat it, and saying 'That's what I thought you said' and ignoring it. I'm equally unpleasant about the 'God, your bump is huge/tiny/whatever' comments or (more rarely) attempts to lunge at my belly to touch it - there are quite a few sadder and wiser people around. I make no apologies for it at all - I realise people mean well, but it's pretty intrusive.

This happened to me today. I was talking with a colleague about my partner, who is really skinny. Saying that I had warned him I'd be getting fat (meaning when I'm a lot older, slower metabolism etc) and she said, oooh, have you got an announcement?? And I was like No, I just put on weight easily. :-/

I am pregnant but I am definitely NOT telling her til I know everything's OK. I also really dislike the equating of pregnant and fat. If you're pregnant, you're pregnant.

Am absolutely dreading people trying to touch my bump (feel weird saying that!) but a friend said she used to step back, poke the person in the tummy, hard, and say - you don't like it? don't try to do it to me! AWESOME!

I've already threatened one of my colleagues with a slap if he even looks at my belly with intention to touch it

OP I love your rant! I couldn't agree more, what is wrong with people? If you're pregnant and anyone suspects there's no way they should ask! If you haven't announced the pregnancy to them, then there is a reason, how does that not cross their minds?!

I can't lie, you ask me a question like that and the answer is right there on my face, but after 3 prev MC's (very early ones) telling anyone I was pregnant prior to the 12 week scan was something I really didn't want. I did get asked by one friend and she knew the answer without me saying, I just said very quickly we were waiting for various tests before saying anything and she shut up.

The guessing game continues throughout the pregnancy and it irritates the life out of me. I'm 39 weeks on Monday and sick to the back teeth of is it a girl or boy, what will it weigh ect. Can't stand the guesses on when I'll deliver and how and the levels of trauma I'm likely to suffer, it's making me hate everyone! I'm such a chirpy bunny

People do get very excited about other people's pregnancies, I know I'm guilty of it with close friends of mine. It's different though when it's you who's pregnant with the hormones and anxieties. Being public property is awful, so much judgement from everyone. I'm very lucky to have such wonderful friends and family who are able to cope with my irritability

and it don't stop at the guessing your pregnant, they the compare your pegnancy to other peoples. That is pissing me off quite a bit.