11 wks and ms so bad i just wish i wasn't pregnant anymore

[itchyfootedlady]

I know loads of people have hideous ms but I am really struggling to cope this week. I've been sick most days since about 6 weeks, and week 9 was so bad I was off work for a week, but last week we went on holiday to Egypt and I picked up a tummy bug. The diarrhoea has stopped now but it seems to have triggered some vomit switch inside me as I am puking constantly now and so tired I sleep about 16 hours a day. I've been signed off work for a week and feel really guilty, and also really lonely stuck on the sofa. Dh is amazing and is doing everything he can for me, even toast at 5am so I can get up to pee with food in me to try and stop the puking, but I really just wish I wasn't pregnant now. I'm not at all excited about the baby. I keep thinking all this sickness will mean at my 12 week scan the baby will have just died... and i am almost ok with that. Please someone tell me it will all get better soon! And that its worth it.... the nurse on Monday just commented that I would miss all this sleeping when the baby arrived. I love my old life... why the hell am I doing this!

So sorry you feel unwell but in all likelihood it will pass soon- you do need to be really careful about wishing your baby might have died - there are lots of people here who would swap with you. I am not saying this from a personal standpoint but aware that what you said is really quite offensive to a few people here.

Look on the positives at least you are able to lay on a sofa or in bed as you have no other children, a lot of people have to still carry on their lives at the same time.

Itchy, I applaud your honesty...it's very brave to come on MN and be so honest. I had hideous Hyperemesis from week 10 and felt terrible. It's so lonely...even with the most supportive partner in the world. Take it an hour at a time, do what you can and then stop. Whatever you do don't feel guilty. Another friend of mine had extreme sickness and fantasised far worse things than you have said: and this was a baby she had been through IVF to conceive. He's now 3 and the apple of her eye. Hang in there. It will end.

And don't even think about going to work just now!

I don't wish my baby had died! I am terrified it might have due to the sickness and have already had 2 scans already to check after bleeding. My sister had a mmc and I am massively paranoid I will too, but some times, when my throat is bleeding from vomiting and food has come out of my nose and I am lying on the loo floor, I think that if it is all over at least I will stop feeling like this. And then I feel guilty and even worse.

I just can't imagine the positives right now. I am so sure it will go wrong and so bloody miserable I just can't imagine having an actual baby other than all the comments about no sleep and sore nipples, I can't imagine the happiness?

Oh dear, yes I have been here.... esp with dd4. And I have lost a very much wanted baby at 25 weeks (my first dd), and yet with dd4 I just couldn't manage anymore and did wish the pregnancy over (I've also experienced infertilty, so this def. goes against the grain for me). Even now with dc5 I am still v sick at 31 weeks. But despite my horrendous morning sickness, I've have been pregnant five times, all very much planned and all very much wanted. Medication doesn't work for me, but I would urge you to go to the gp to see if you can get something to help you manage over the next few weeks. I am morning sick for 9 months 24/7 and the one thing that gets me through is that a couple of days after birth (c-sections for me) I realise that I feel fantastic! That is such a liberating moment. Spannermary is right, it is sooo lonely, no matter how supportive your partner is. Yes, it is def. all worth it; hell, you even might go back and do it again.... Good luck...

I know how you feel. i've had serve sickness since week 7 and been signed off work since. i'm now 16 weeks. i've lost weight and my baby is still growing. its funny how something so small can cause so much trouble and still survive.
At the start of the sickness i didnt want my baby even tho it was what i wanted before i was pregnant. the reason for that was my work has been so unsupportive due to my sickness and people i considered friends before didnt want to know me anymore as i was so ill i was no use to them. im better off without them.
if you feeling this low maybe speak to your gp for support but trust me when you see your baby for the first time on the scan you will feel different

Thanks for the messages... if I am no better by next week i'll head back to the docs. I think when I can feel a baby and see a bump it will become more real and I will be able to believe it?

It's good to hear you did it again imip. I want more children... or at least that was the plan!

Go and see your GP asap.

I had dreadful MS for 6 weeks and don't think I have ever felt so ill in all my life. People who haven't suffered from it can't possibly understand how debilitating it is.

With my first DC (a boy) I had very mild MS and even quipped to the midwife this time around at 6 weeks that I was worried the baby wasn't developing as I was feeling fine. The next day the MS started and it was truly awful. I spent the whole of Aug and most of September at home.

However, at 13 weeks and with the help of Cyclazine, it gradually disappeared and I'm fine now. Had a scan last week and it's a girl so perhaps the severe MS was a sign I was having a girl and not a boy.

Go to your GP and get some meds. It will pass and then you can enjoy your pregnancy.

Itchy, I really sympathise. It is a terrible experience. I would encourage you to see the doc asap. It sounds like you are suffering awfully and it possibly doesn't need to be that bad. Your doc should be able to give you meds that will help. I completely understand the loneliness. At least with mumsnet you can talk to people who understand. Things WILL get better.