Pregnant, feeling so down, need a kick

[tenweeksparanoid]

I've name changed because frankly, I think I am losing the plot this pregnancy and I'm embarrassed. I've been so down since finding out I am pregnant which is totally ridiculous, this was all planned and there is really nothing else in my life I need to worry about particularly - nothing more than anyone else in normal life.

But, I never felt like this when pregnant with my DD. I've just felt so low, yes of course the normal tiredness and I have a busy toddler but still, DH is giving me as much of a break as possible, helping loads and giving me weekends off, but still I am moping around. Then there is the very worst thing - I am still smoking, 3-4 a day, I hate myself for it but I feel like they are helping me hold it together. I'm fed up with feeling low, having a cigarette feels like a break from it all, it is so selfish but I feel like its just a little bit of me time. I'm disgusted with myself for doing this, flame me, I deserve it - pretty sure I'd have done the same before this.

I've just got this underlying fear that this pregnancy is not ok, I did have an early MC earlier in the year, but I was really fine about that. I went to the EPU about 3 weeks ago and all was fine, my scan is booked for the 23rd and I am just dreading finding out that all is not well, just before the family descend for Christmas. I'm such a doom and gloom merchant, want to shake myself.

Anyone else felt like this?

Would you go to the EPU again rather than wait until the 23rd?

There'd be no point flaming you for smoking, it'd only add to your stress and make you feel more need of cigarettes - same goes for berating yourself about it - hating yourself won't help, so don't do it. Try your best to give up, but don't hate yourself for not being able to, that won't help you or your baby. ((hugs))

It sounds like you're overwhelmed by everything, and don't forget how awful hormones can be and what an effect they can have. Pregnancy is stressful at the best of times; after a miscarriage, it's going to be especially scary. Maybe you were fine about it then but maybe it's contributing to your anxiety now?

If you think it will help ease the worry, then, yeah, maybe go back to the EPU and hopefully they might be able to put your mind at rest a bit.

Be gentle with yourself. You feel rotten and stressed and worried - that's not something to feel guilty about - it's a horrible experience, not a crime! Be kind to yourself. See your feelings as a reason to spoil and pamper yourself a bit and take as much time out as you need to try and de-stress - don't beat yourself up about how you feel, that'll just make you feel worse.

Yeah, it'd be nice to feel blossoming and blooming, joyful and optimistic, but this is real life and you're a real person, and real people get stressed and scared and rocked all over the place by hormones. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. If you give yourself a break, accept your fears as normal enough (with such things varying from one pregnancy to the next) and nothing to be embarrassed about, then maybe they'll pass all the quicker for it? Talk things over with people you trust, maybe docs/midwives, and/or your dh, family, friends. When children have nightmares, the first thing we do for them is switch the light on, so they can examine their fears in the light and see there's nothing to be frightened of - for grown-ups a good chat serves the same purpose! :-)

I hope you feel better soon.

Suze xx