26 weeks with DC2, feel like my body is falling apart...please help.

[wideawakenurse]

I feel crap.

I am 26 weeks, with a fairly biggish bump. I seem to have developed all the last few weeks symptoms that I had with DS at an earlier stage. Any meals I eat make me feel like I want to explode, I feel breathless on exertion, and I can feel the start of carpel tunnel. I have a massive varicose vien in my right leg which means I have to hop when I first get up because the pain of the blood rushing to my leg is dreadful. My back is full of knots ans spasms.

DS is almost 2 so I am running around with him, I have a busy and stressful job and an hour's commute too. There is no option of any more help with DS or any change at work.

I have just had 2 weeks off sick having ended up in hospital for a week due to gastroenteritis. I feel totally wiped out still.

Now, I know that makes me sound like a right light-weight moaner, so I really want to feel better. My diet is not great, I crave salty food a lot and struggle to find time to eat reguarly, but when I do eat I am in agony.

Any tips or advice from anyone? I don't want to just crumple, really want to get through the next few months feeling a bit better.

If you are a nurse (as your name suggests) stay off sick a bit longer. How long have u been with the NHS? you are well over your pay assessment period and you still get payed your shift enhancement. They can't start your mat leave till 36 weeks.
For the heart burn, small low fat frequent meals, gaviscon advance (free big bottle on presecription) if that's not helping as put gp for some ranitidine
As for your legs, you need compression stockings before this gets worse. Get some and put them on before you get up.
Have you had your iron levels checked?
Get on a multi vitamin and take all the help you can get.
Consider a cleaner for a couple of hours of a short nursery placement and get your feet up. Do you have family or friends near?
Trust me, don't just solider on. You have two people to look after. I was headed exactly the way you are and ran myself down soo badly I ended up with pneumonia and had to slow down.
Look after yourself and don't rush back to work

I'm 29 weeks with number 2 and have a 17 month old. Physically this pregnancy is difficult in different ways, I.e., sore joints, SPD and a bump which is bigger now than at term last time. I hobble and take paracetamol.

I'm not working right now (office politics) but I was getting really run down and have made a renewed effort to eat nutrionally balanced meals. Don't need to spend hours in the kitchen, but salads, omelettes, fish & couscous can be knocked up in minutes and really honestly do make me feel perkier, although I know it's so much 'easier' just to have toast.

Chin up, you're on the home straight!

Oh yes, iron! Listen to your body, I scoffed half a pound of rare roast beef yesterday because my body demanded it!

The thing about you work not being able to offer any more change might not be correct either.
Do u work for the NHS? if u do I happen to b an expert in their maternity leave policy.
They need to perform a risk assessment for you. You should have had two by now. Get you own gp involved and refer yourself to occupational health.
If they recommend you have light duties then you manager has to give you light duties. If they can't find any they have to suspend you on full pay (not punitively, it's not a negative mark on ur record, it's for the protection of you and your unborn child)
If they say they have given u light duties and don't, ask occupational health to review your job.
Let me know if u need any more help x

Sorry for typo's, on my I phone and it encourages bad spelling

Thank you both for the replies and suggestions.

McQuesy, I would love to be off work right now, but am very nervous. I was off sick from 25 weeks with DS as I have a heart condition that was worsening. My boss is not very sympathetic, haven't had a risk assesment done. I am in a senior role and feel that I would really be letting people down at one of the worse times at work!

Will take the advice re TED stockings and the gaviscon. I have a MW appointment for bloods in a few weeks, but think I'll get to the GP this week to check sooner.

Family are not very near, and not very hands on. I tend to have to 'entertain' my mother when she's here. (Long story) All my friends are pregnant with DC2 or just had DC2.

We are already shelling out £180 a week nursery fees to cover my work days, so no option to increase. Not to worried about the housework really, DH has just done a massive pile of ironing for us all thank goodness.

I have a supplement (unopened ) in the cupboard. Will start today!

Your nice words have been lovely, made me feel teary!

X-posts McQuesy.

I know I could follow that process, having had to do it my own staff! Its more about the fact that there is a lot of pressure to perform at the moment, with deadlines and winter pressure coming up. I have been having staff counseling for work related stress for a while too as it's pretty dire at the moment.

My relationship with my boss is not great, and I really would not be comfortable asking for my risk assessments etc from her.

Bit of a catch 22

Sorry, as an example, when I explained I was admitted to hospital and was on a IVI etxc her first response was about getting a sick cert to her!

I also sent her an email explaining that in a week's time I have swapped my days as the nursery has a days closures. I explained that I thought it was better to come to work rather than take carers leave. Her response: Well, it would not be carers leave anyway.

Er, thanks for that!

Wow she sounds a peach
How is your heart condition this time, a few of your symptoms sound a wee bit suspect.

Bloody hell, no wonder you feel run down with that shit at work! :O!

I think you need to take a deep breath and 'go sick' or whatever it is you can do. Someone else can pick up the slack, your responsibilities are to your children, not a 'busy time of year'.

I've had loads of crap at work, politics pushing me out of a role, I spoke to company doctor who told me to stay ay home. I intended to just take 3 days off because I felt such responsibility to my job, but I was so frazzled and stressed I still wasn't sleeping. In the end I tool 2.5 weeks before going back and then they pushed me out the door after a week... I was really, really upset - this all happened 3 weeks ago, so I've been at home (on full pay) since then. I've seen the company doctor again and he said I should just relax and enjoy an extended ml and I am relaxing now. I'm hanging out with my toddler, painting my nails, having the odd afternoon nap and battling through a 'to do' list as long as my arm.

Officially I am 'available for work', however the further this pregnancy progresses the more unlikely this will be, I.e., I can't fly/drive far...

Oh and the arseholes who pushed me out of my role? From what I see of internal mails/systems, they're still unhappy and being horrible to people, but not me anymore! ;)

My heart condition is ok, I had an arrythmia which was 'burnt out' a few years ago, but I found when I was pregnant I had fainted a lot, palpatations, and low blood pressure.

No of that this time, which I why I just feel a bit fraudulant as what I am experiencing is the norm really.

sorry for the typo's.

Just peeked at your profile and see you're an older mum (I'm 37). My last pregnancy was hard with hyperemisis and pre-eclampsia, this one is skeletal... Maybe it's just our age? You don't hear of too many 16 year olds whining about their creaky hips! ;)

Wow Alpine. Your post resonates with me massively. The issues in my work, can't really go into for confidential reasons, are similar though, in terms of politics, support etc. I was feeling burnt out before I even got pregnant.

I will see my GP this week though, explain how difficult I am finding things and see what their response is.

I would love to just have someone take everything off my hands for a while. DH is helpful, but he really doesn't quite get it and thinks I am being a bit of a moaner.

Wideawake, i totally understand where you are coming from but at the end of the day, why kill yourself and risk your babies health just because your boss is a cow?
I understand that you need to keep a decent working relationship but if ur sick ur sick!
Do you really think ur boss would bat an eyelid if something happened to you?
I understand the pressures of being in a senior role, I'm in one myself. Use ur knowledge of policy and procedure to your advantage.
Unfortunately she is right about the carers leave bit. You need to stay one step ahead if her. the nhs has one of the best family friendly policies available and if she deviates from policy, have hr set her straight.
Get a sick line, put your feet up and stop worrying about that miserable cow.
Don't ask about risk assessment either. Wait till ur trigger meetings (if you have any) then get hr to ask for them.
Keep occupational health involved. Be seen to be the most reasonable person.
"I will absolutely come back to work in whatever capacity you want as long as my health and the health of my baby are protected"
Get occupational health to make any recommendations to ur boss and then they can be the bad guy, you will just be following orders.
Seriously, I know this system inside out. It is there to protect you from situations like this.
Put your health and ur baby first. You would feel worse if you let ur baby down even more so than leaving someone else to deal with ur targets. The NHS is a big machine and there will be another cog that can replace you and shoulder the burden. Take the time ur entitled to, stop worrying and enjoy Christmas with your family and people who genuinely care about you xx