I appear to have reached the seething fury phase of this pregnancy

[HughBastard]

Either that or everything on the entire planet is making a calculated attempt to piss me off. And succeeding.

I'm not even going to list the ways in which today has made me feel violent.

I feel like a large skinhead in a pub, 5 pints in and hoping someone will spill my pint so I can thump him.

Sounds familiar. I expect everything on the planet is conspiring to piss you off. Shall I hold your coat?

Me too. It is excellent.

This week I have had (FB) arguments with people about the Public Sector strikes and this morning I have had a great time on one of those 'Children are banned from saying Happy Christmas and doing nativity plays in schools and have to say Happy Winter Holiday instead' facebook statuses. Upon enquiring which schools this was happening in, so far the only school that has been named is one my cousins attend (who have denied that this message is true!) and I've emailed the office asking if it's the case because one of their parents has misunderstood something somewhere

Now, if only the nesting instinct would kick in so I could be bothered to do some housework. Although even then I'd not bother doing the stuff that needs doing, I'd probably decide to fix the roof or clean the kitchen floor tiles with a toothbrush...

Can I touch your bump, Hugh?

Oh dear God, JaneRustle. I'd not thought.

We're going to visit MIL later, and she's going to lunge for the bump. I can feel my BP rising at the thought of having to do battle with her - if I hold something in front of by belly she'll try to find a way around it, she couldn't fucking resist when I was pregnant with DD [fanger]

I remember that stage. It conicided with the purchase of a city pushchair that when put together had a brake issue. Customer service being what it is in Italy the resultant explosive mess was fun.

Given the high speed collision between my refusal to accept anything other than my shoes being licked clean in penance for TRYING TO KILL MY BABY BY HURLING HIM UNDER A BUS DUE TO LACK OF BRAKES and their refusal to accept that the brakes were ever supposed to work OR that pushchairs automatically have working brakes.

Poor DH having to translate my volatile Italish into something comprehesible and less rude....

Ooooh you shouldn't swear when you're pregnant, your baby will grow up to read the Daily Mail.

If your MIL makes contact, do an obvious flinch and say "OW!"

OR you could reflexively karate-chop her. Or pinch her bum and see how she enjoys having her personal space invaded.

The Daily Mail?! [anger]

WHAT kind of parent do you think I am

even

I'm so cross that I can't even do smilies correctly now!

Am liking the karate chop idea though...

I have felt like this since the moment of conception.

Everyone is a cunt right now.

And woe betide anyone who attributes this FACT to my hormones...

Today I had this:

Nurse to my 5yo daughter: And when is mummy's baby due, Sweetheart?
Daughter: Umm... after Christmas?
Nurse: Not long to go now then eh Mummy?
Me: Well, end of February actually.
Nurse: OH GOOD LORD YOU'RE JOKING???!!!
Me:
Nurse: It's just that... gosh, you do look ready to pop. Don't you?
Me:
Nurse: I mean to say, you're very big. In the bump I mean. It's a big bump. Very big. Like, twins or something! You look further along than you are. With that big bump.
Me: :)

Oh god the "ready to pop" thing.

I was never nearer to decking somebody when in DH's aunty's shop (just to ensure post event dicection of exactly how huge my belly was) some evil Milanese was showing off her small neat bump that turned put to be two days from term. While my enoumous protudance still had 12 weeks to go.

Got so sick (and not a tad homicidal) of "any day now!" excalmations from randoms from six months gestation onwards.

Just used to snarl "It's mostly Hargen Daz, I'm HUNGRY" and waddle off in a huff. Very slowly. Due to sheer size of the elephant proprotioned baby inside of me.

Just got back from lunch and there is a British Gas van, parked RIGHT outside my house, across TWO parking spaces on DOUBLE YELLOW lines (I can park there as I have a blue badge). So I have had to walk 50m on crutches, holding on to the wall, at 30 weeks pregnant, from the high st.

If he comes back when I'm here I will not be responsible for my actions.

Me too. Im due beginning of Feb and if one more person says "oh youve got ages yet" or "you look like youre about ready to pop" I will not be held responsible for my actions!

I am getting angry surges when at the shops, trying to navigate around with a 39 week bump (albeit a little one). Pissing me right off that I cant just squeeze past snails pace shoppers. I walk around with a frown on my face, getting seriously aggitated. I wouldn't even bother with the Town, but have friends visiting the area, and they wanted a neb around.

Grrrrrrrrrr

25 weeks and feeling homicidal this weekend. Also even more obsessive than usual - have been wrapping presents and ran out of the cream ribbon I was using for the last few presents. The ribbon on the last few presents Does Not Match. Am seriously considering going into town tomorrow for more of the right ribbon and rewrapping them but fear I may get caught up in some unfortunate Pregnant Woman Slays Eight incident with the Christmas shopping crowds...

Good on all of you, I say - women don't get angry enough, a lot of the time. I'm 24 weeks, and while I wouldn't say 'homicidal' is anything wildly new for me, I have, since the very early days of this, my first pregnancy, felt emancipated from any desire to please or kowtow to anyone, however politic it would be. I have rabble-roused in work meetings, made my expectations of professionalism and common sense in every situation very clear, and not given an inch. I don't think hormones have anything at all to do with it, I'm just re-prioritising. No one has tried to touch my (huge) belly yet, so (judging by other people's stories on here - I'm doing something right and giving off 'fuck right off, bump-fondling pervert' vibes.

That is a great way of looking at it, HardCheese.

The only problem is, I am alternating between steely, cold, no-nonsense and assertive and a sobbing, snotty wreck. Frequently. Work meetings are like a game of Russian roulette.

Oh yes, if I'm not shouting, I'm weeping . Very much resent this takeover of my emotions by a bunch of hormones. Currently crying at Hook .

Oh, me too HughBastard, me too. I am FULL OF RAGE. Also due end of Feb and people keep asking me if I'm sure.

And a stranger touched my bump last night.

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGE.

Yes, agree HardCheese that the rage is quite liberating. During my last pregnancy, a friend said 'wow, whoop, you're really mean when you're pregnant', and I thought 'hell yes. I LIKE this new me.'

Have successfully managed to avoid bump-touching with strategically placed cushions and carrying of various objects.

Am now seething with rage on another thread though (no, I'm not linking)

I think today was worse than bump touching. I had covered it with a scarf/thick coat combo, and lady I haven't seen for a while asked how I was. I moved scarf aside and pointed at bump. She said 'oh, you're having another baby, yes, I thought your face was looking much fatter than normal'. Gah!