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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Ectopic pregnancy: is it normal to feel 'fine' now or am I kidding myself?

11 replies

messalina · 02/12/2011 21:00

I had an ectopic pregnancy removed through surgery (laparoscopy) just under 2 weeks ago. I went for an early scan because I was bleeding, so assumed it was a miscarriage. Told it was ectopic, blood test taken and had to come back in 48 hours to have blood test again. I didn't make it back as ended up in A&E 48 hours later, internal bleeding, surgery, tube removed. Stayed 1 night in hospital, back at work after 2 days. Now feel absolutely fine, emotionally and physically. Am I deluding myself? Has anyone had an EP and found the emotional pain was delayed??

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samwellsbutt · 02/12/2011 21:13

i didnt have an ep but i miscarried and it caused me to haemorrhaged i lost 5 pints of blood and nearly died. i have to say that the ordeal over took the miscarriage its self and to be honest i was too happy to be alive to be overly upset by the miscarriage.
you maybe feeling a similar thing given the situation, i may be wrong but it maybe relief that you survived it all intact iyswim.

Crosshair · 02/12/2011 21:17

I havent been in your situation, but I guess its whats normal for you. People deal with things differently, you may have a delayed response and you may not. I dont think you should feel a certain way or try to compare yourself with others.

Sorry about the ectopic, I imagine it was a scary time for you and your family.

samwellsbutt · 02/12/2011 21:24

i agree with crosshair and wouldnt over think it, just be good to yourself and go with the flow if you need some time fine and if you dont thats fine too. i dont think there is a way any one is suppose to deal with these things.

AimAndFire · 02/12/2011 21:37

I had an ectopic pregnancy a few years ago - ended up with surgery and removal of tube like you.

I felt OK at first, just relieved that I was alive. Being rushed into emergency surgery overshadowed the loss of a baby.

It did hit me about two weeks later and I ended up taking a few weeks off work to grieve. But now I am fine and can talk about the experience quite easily - I still don't really see it as a miscarriage, more an emergency surgical procedure and loss of a tube IYSWIM.

I wouldn't worry about how you're "supposed" to feel - whatever you're feeling is right for you. It might hit you later, or when you try to conceive again, or not at all.

Sorry for your loss and the emergency surgery - glad you are feeling fine.

serendipity16 · 03/12/2011 10:20

Exactly the same as you.
I had an EP 2 days before xmas, 2 years ago.... same as you, a&e, emergency surgery, internal bleeding, tube removed etc.
I was sad but not 'as' upset as i thought i'd be..... i kinda went through the motions of getting it done, going home on xmas day to my other kids and then then i had the internal enquiry to think of.
Come February it hit me and i sobbed my heart out for days.
Everyone deals with things differently, don't worry if you're not feeling what you think you're supposed to be feeling right now.

serendipity16 · 03/12/2011 10:23

Meant to add...... I'm really sorry to hear about your ectopic x

madeindevon2 · 03/12/2011 20:58

Did u have tube removed with keyhole surgery? I had quite large wound and no way I could have been to work 2 days later. I think I was in hospital for 4- 5 days..
But fair play to you for bouncing back so quickly! Wish I had

CarolCervix · 03/12/2011 21:06

i am sorry you lost your baby.

when i had my ep i was 'fine' for a while, a couple of months. I was relieved to be alive and not dead on thekitchen floor. I concentrated on healing physically, pushed myself to be completely normal.

3-4 months later i was a complete mess, what had actually happened floored me totally, i was very very depressed but because i had been 'normal' for a few months nobody noticed or cared. it was horrific.

but nothing is the 'normal' or right thing to do or feel. be very very gentle with yourself, let yourself heal and do what you need to do, whenever you need to. and let your DH/P know how you feel. don't hide it.

lostinindia · 03/12/2011 21:11

www.ectopic.org.uk/

This site was my saving grace when I had my ectopics. I felt fine initially then it hit me gradually along with the implications it had on future pregnancies and my fertility.

The website has a great forum with women in your situation being supported by those who have experienced an ectopic pregnancy. Its a great place for emotional support and also for medical advice.

HaveToWearHeels · 03/12/2011 21:12

I had an EP December 2008. Like you I went in for an early scan due to spotting and cramping, rushed straight from scan onto ward and had tube removed at 5pm the same day. Went home the next afternoon. Must say I was very sad for about a week, just maudling rather than grief stricken iyswim ? As it was so close to Christmas work told me not to bother coming back until the new year so had approx 3 weeks off which included the Christmas period. It was nice to have the time but I didn't wander around in tears., just slobbed out at home feeling sorry for myself.
On a possitive note I conceived 8 days after my operation and because of the op didn't realise until the sickness kicked in at 8 weeks. DD was born Sept 2009, 8 weeks after I should have given birth with the lost baby.

CarolCervix · 03/12/2011 21:14

ditto India ectopic.org. life savers.

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